


Love is Blind

by CassadyFlies



Series: Hands Held Out [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Blindness, College, Deaf Character, I don't know much JSL... So lots of this will be American Sign Language., M/M, harumako, makoharu - Freeform, tactile sign language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-02-21 00:11:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 38,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2448173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassadyFlies/pseuds/CassadyFlies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College AU, Makoto begins his first year of college, where he meets his new roommate Haruka- who has Usher Syndrome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was Makoto’s first day of college. He tried desperately to wipe the tear tracks from his face as he said goodbye to his parents and little siblings. His parents had helped him move everything he was bringing into his new dorm, and were trying to put off departure for as long as possible by worrying excessively over every last detail.

“Make sure you don’t forget to eat! And that your alarm clock is set for AM, not PM.” His mother held his hand in both of hers.

“I did that once…” Makoto grumbled, but smiled just the same. “Yeah, mom. I will. You’re going to miss the train.”

“Of course, you’re right. Goodbye, call us every day.” She kissed his cheek tearfully.

“Mom…” He was wrapped in another barrage of hugs from his family.

“Don’t leave!” Ran cried, as his dad picked him up.

Eventually, everyone walked away, leaving Makoto alone outside of his residence hall.

“Haru! Dammit, that’s a koi pond, stop!” a blur of red hair dashed past Makoto, grabbing the wrist of some guy who was taking his shirt off.

Makoto blushed and looked away. Maybe this was normal for college. He had a lot to get used to.

The red haired guy looked back at Makoto curiously, “Hey, you aren’t Tachibana-san, are you? I have the picture from your school ID here somewhere…”

Makoto’s eyes widened and he smiled, “Oh! Yes, that’s me. Are you my new roommate, then? Nanase-san?”

“Pft. Hell no. That would be this idiot. Haru, stop.” He smacked the other’s (Haru’s?) wrist to stop him from potentially crushing some koi. “Sit on the bench.” He commanded, shoving Haru bodily onto the bench facing the pond. Haru just sulked, not saying anything. “I’m Matsuoka Rin.”

“O-oh.” Makoto stammered, turning to Haru, “Um, nice to meet you, Nanase-san. You can call me Ma-“

“Don’t.” Rin interrupted. “He can’t hear you.”

Makoto frowned, a little startled, “He can’t…? Is he-“

“Deaf. Yeah. You don’t have to talk to him, he can take care of himself.” Rin tapped Haru’s shoulder. Haru stood up and grabbed his hand, allowing himself to be dragged away into the hall by Rin.

Makoto watched them go. _They’re holding hands. Are they together?_ He wondered to himself as the hall entrance slammed closed. Only then did he remember that the only reason he was outside was to wait for Haru to show up. Blushing a little, he jogged after them, catching up just over the staircase to the second floor where their room was.

Rin stared at Makoto; “I’m right across the hall, so-“

Suddenly, Makoto found himself on the floor. Whatever hit him must have been moving faster than the speed of sound, because a second later, he heard the approaching, “MAKOTAN!”

Makoto gasped, checking to see if any ribs had broken, “Nagisa! You’re- huh. I prefer Mako-chan better I think.”

Nagisa huffed, “Now that we’re in college, I don’t’ want you feeling so grown up you get a big ego and hurt yourself. I’m just looking out for you.”

Makoto laughed, “So long as you have my best interests in heart. Get off of me.”

“Yeah, okay I- Bwah! Makotan’s roommate, huh?” He grinned up at Rin, “Wow, okay! Good to meet you!”

Makoto shook his head, “No, the other one. Nanase Haruka-san.”

Nagisa swiveled around to look at Haru, “I didn’t see you there! When I saw your name on Mako-chan’s pamphlet, I thought you were a girl. Maybe Mako-chan has secretly been a girl this whole time, and so the school put him with a girl roommate. But no, you’re a guy like Mako-chan and like me probably! I work at the coffee house on campus, it’s really cool-“ Nagisa continued to babble on to Haru as Rin quietly smirked and started trying to figure out the key to Haru’s and Makoto’s room.

“Nagisa…” Makoto tried to stop him.

“Yeah, Makotan, I have a new roommate too! I think I might be taller than him. Can I help you unpack? Oh! Can I come in your room, Haru-chan?”

Makoto pushed himself off the floor, “He can’t hear you. He’s ah…”

“Deaf!” Rin supplied from inside the room, “Right, Haru, you psychotic demon dolphin? Nah, he can’t hear me. He knows though. Watch out for that, Tachibana, he likes to strip wherever there’s water. _Any_ water. Can’t stress that enough. One time it got humid enough that he took all his clothes off and just lied down on the floor. My sister walked in and saw him like that, swear to god she almost passed out. Sparkles everywhere. I don’t blame her. Boy’s got abs.” Rin grabbed Haru’s wrist and pulled him inside the room over to his bed. He tapped the palm of Haru’s hand with two fingers, “Sit.”

Nagisa followed Makoto inside, waving at Haru, “Hi Haru-chan! I’m-“ Nagisa spelled his name in complicated little hand symbols. Haru squinted at him.

Rin grinned, “Ah, you can do that? That’s cool. Doubt Haru understood what you said, though.”

Nagisa looked crestfallen, “Why not?”

“He’s pretty much blind, too.” Rin dropped a heavy looking box unceremoniously on the floor.

“You’re kidding! How does he talk?” Nagisa looked with growing concern at Haru, who shrugged at Rin.

Rin sat down on the bed next to Haru, “Hmm… well you can text him if you get his phone number, but he fairly hates that thing, so… I talk to him with tactile, but my dad was Deaf, so I figured out how pretty quick.”

Makoto just stood there, eyes wide.

“Show me!” Nagisa squealed.

Rin grinned, looking pleased to show off a skill. “Yeah, okay.” He tapped Haru’s shoulder, and Haru held out his hands. Makoto sat down on his own bed, watching in amazement as Rin moved his hands fluidly in Haru’s. Haru nodded to whatever Rin was saying, and tapped his leg.

“What did you say?” Nagisa asked breathily.

“I said he was a psychotic demon dolphin.”

“He nodded.” Nagisa frowned.

“He did.”

“That’s so cool!” Nagisa almost screamed, “Can I tell him my name?”

“Yeah.”

Nagisa put his hand in Haru’s and spelled his name again. Haru nodded and spelled something back, about a thousand times faster than Nagisa, who looked surprised. “What did he say?”

“Haru. His name.”

“Cool!” He bounded over to Makoto, “You try!”

Makoto shook his head, “I don’t know how.”

“I’ll show you!” Nagisa put together a few more complicated handshapes together.

“Nope.” Rin interrupted, “That spells Makotan.”

“Nagisa!” Makoto protested, looking mortified.

Rin helped Makoto spell his real name. When Makoto tried with Haru, Haru reached out suddenly and grabbed his hand. He said something to Rin.

Rin sighed, “He says you smell like the pool. That’s the biggest compliment he gives.”

“Oh…” Makoto flushed, “I swim a lot.”

Rin frowned, “Yeah. Well, nice to meet you and all that, but I have to get back to my room before my roommate takes the bunk I want. Wish we had the same floor plan as you guys. Later.”

Rin shut the door behind him with a thump.

Nagisa smiled, “Yeah, I gotta go too. My shift started like, two minutes ago. Nice meeting you, Haru-chan! Bye Mako-chan!” He left behind Rin, leaving the room strangely silent.

Haru held up a finger to Makoto, asking him to wait while he rummaged around in a blue backpack. He found a cell phone in a thick case and a kind of device that Makoto had never seen before. Haru typed onto it, and a voice read out, “I’m Haru. Do you know the way to the pool?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru's perception of Makoto and him going to the pool.

The air smelled sweet like chlorine, and everything turned damp. Holding tightly to Makoto’s hand, Haru opened his eyes wide, scanning the scene through his blurry, pinpoint field of remaining vision. Something shone and swirled. _Got it._ Haru pulled himself free from Makoto’s grip and ran to the pool, pulling off his clothes and jumping in. First, he felt the water wrap around his hands like gloves. Then, it pulled him forward, dancing around him as a gelatinous membrane.

When he was younger, Haru had seen what water really looked like. Before he lost his vision, he remembered the water as being huge, made up of open arms waiting for him to embrace. The surface of the water was minutely thicker than the rest, so it would bead up and roll away when someone made him get out of the pool. Now, the water was different. It wasn’t better or worse, just… now the water was closer. It existed as a single entity that would form itself to Haru, lifting his weight and pushing him forward as he guided it. It fit to his skin and existed nowhere else. Rather than vast, epic expanses, water was intimate. Haru accepted water in all its forms, be it close or distant.

Water, too, was lonely.

Whether infinite or infinitesimal, desperate for closeness or cold, it pushed itself away from everything it touched. No one could truly connect with it, and it could never truly connect with anyone.

It was Haru’s deepest desire to come as close to that connection as he could.

In a moment, Haru felt the water tremble. Shockwaves collided with his body as some other force entered the pool. A hand appeared on Haru’s shoulder, then disappeared, taking the shockwaves with it, further and further in the distance.

Ma-ko-to.

That’s what he said his name was. Three straightforward letters with nothing fancy in between. Just like his own name. Ha-ru-ka.

Haru wondered if his name sounded like a question. Haruka? In the spring?  
Or maybe it reminded people of the word dolphin, since that’s what Rin always called him. Haruka the iruka.

Haru forgot to pay attention to the time. It seemed like moments later when that same hand appeared on his shoulder and pulled him towards the edge. Makoto handed him a towel, and his abandoned clothes from the floor. They walked back to their dorm together, hand in hand.

Walking with Makoto was somehow quieter than it was with Rin. Even when they stopped walking at times, Makoto’s pace was smoother, and he kept Haru on a direct path, as opposed to Rin’s occasional tendency to wind around. But Makoto also seemed more distant. His hand would occasionally fidget in Haru’s, or tense suddenly like he was disturbed by something. Haru wasn’t sure what it meant. If Makoto would understand him, he would ask.

Maybe Makoto was unused to walking while holding hands with someone. Rin used to tell Haru that it was more normal to hold onto someone’s shoulder, but Haru didn’t like the way people’s shoulders moved. Shoulders were where people expressed their anxiety, and holding on to that seemed intrusive and stressful. Hands were where people expressed their explicit desires and motivations, and Haru much preferred the bluntness of holding someone’s hand to the confusion and worry of holding their shoulder.

However, being unable to ask Makoto what these particular hand motions meant was confusing and worrisome as it was. Frowning slightly, Haru let go of Makoto’s hand and took hold of his shoulder.

Makoto grew half a foot taller, and a staircase appeared. They were approaching the dorm building. The ground changed firmness and the air got colder, signaling that they were inside. A moment later, a slightly smaller, cooler hand than Makoto’s appeared in Haru’s palm and spoke to him.

“I see you found the pool. You left your cell phone, idiot, I was looking for you.”

Haru shrugged as the hand grabbed his upper arm, letting him know that Rin was there, and it was okay to talk.

“I wouldn’t have felt it vibrate anyway. I was in the water. Don’t look for me, I’m fine.”

Rin squeezed his bicep admonishingly, “You’re not fine, and you can’t just walk off with this guy, you don’t even know him. What if he’s some kind of freak?”

Haru frowned, “We were in the pool, so it was okay.”

Rin shoved him lightly, “Haru, that means nothing.”

“You just have to trust the water. It’s impermeable.”

“I’m sighing heavily right now.”

“I can tell.”

Haru pushed away and followed Makoto into the dorm room. He sat down on his bed and found his cell phone. Quickly, he typed into the part of his phone that was supposed to read out loud. He carefully checked each line as he wrote it, feeling along the Braille display bar before hitting enter.

“It didn’t seem like we were in the pool for very long. What time is it now?” He held out his phone at arms length and waited for Makoto to take it. His Braille display was connected by Bluetooth, so he read along as Makoto typed.

“We were there for three hours! It’s nine o’ clock. The pool was closing.”

Haru typed back under the line Makoto had written, “Why would someone close the pool? What could we even do to it that we need to be supervised?”

There was a pause before Makoto typed back, “The manager was yelling at us. He thought you were just ignoring his warning whistle.”

“I didn’t hear it.”

“I know.”

“Why didn’t you hear it?”

“I did! I stopped swimming. You were really fast, it was hard to catch you.” Makoto typed fast, and had to go back and correct quite a few spelling mistakes.

Haru responded, “lol.”

Makoto sat down on the bed next to him, “Where did you learn to swim like that? I thought I made good time!”

“I don’t care about times. I just want to feel the water.”

There was another, longer pause. “Okay.”

Haru went to sleep that night and dreamt about the sensation of foreign fingernails speaking gibberish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really short chapter!
> 
> If you were curious about Haru's Deafblindness:
> 
> With Usher Syndrome (Haru's condition) you are typically born profoundly deaf, and go blind later in life. Scarily enough, most people with Usher don't know they have it, so when they start to lose their peripheral vision, it comes as a shock- especially to the Deaf who rely so heavily on sight.
> 
> If you want to know more, visit http://www.usher-syndrome.org/ for some good information. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

For Makoto, the walk to the pool was uneventful. Haru gripped Makoto’s hand lightly as they walked across campus to the swim club. It seemed everyone was still unpacking their dorms, so the campus was clear. Makoto looked at Haru and smiled, wondering how much his new roommate had had to go through in order to get where he was. Haru’s eyes were half closed, but Makoto could see a flash of blue behind his lids. He wondered if Haru had ever seen what he looked like. Was he all-the-way blind? He looked like he had seen Nagisa do something earlier when he had tried to introduce himself. Did that mean he wasn’t all-the-way deaf either? Makoto quickly glanced at Haru’s ears. He didn’t wear hearing aids. Maybe he could hear enough not to need them?

“Haru?”

No response. Maybe he couldn’t hear enough for hearing aids to be useful. _Or_ , Makoto wondered, _maybe they can’t get wet_. A staircase was approaching, and Makoto frowned, wondering aloud, “Can you get down stairs if I help you?”

Haru’s hand was wrapped in his, and their forearms pressed together up to the elbow. Haru lagged just slightly behind Makoto, tracing his footsteps. Makoto squeezed Haru’s hand lightly, trying to warn him in some way what was going to happen, and hoping that he would get the point. Haru just nodded, and they slowed down just before the top step. Makoto stepped down first, and as he got lower, his arm shifted along Haru’s, and Haru stepped down to meet him. After the first step, Haru sped up, almost tugging Makoto along with him as his free hand traced the handrail.

There were no more obstacles in the way of the pool, and they walked along at a more than reasonable pace until they reached the swim club building.

Upon entering the pool room, Haru promptly let go of Makoto’s hand and ran all the way to the pool, pulling of his clothes as he went. Makoto smiled, and gathered Haru’s clothes onto a table, before undressing and getting in himself.

Haru was _graceful_ in the water, and Makoto wished he had a better word for it. He swam a few laps at an amazing speed, then traced the shape of the pool with his hands, memorizing every detail. He dove to touch the floor in various places, and the way he learned the shape of the pool seemed to Makoto to be somehow both methodical and inspired.

Haru also seemed to have no trouble locating Makoto in the water either. On several occasions, it would seem as if they were on a collision path, until Haru would turn just slightly at the last moment, and somehow miss hitting Makoto entirely.

Sometimes, Makoto would just stop swimming, and stare at the gentle yet persistent paths that Haru carved for himself as he swam. More than once, this resulted in Haru inexplicably realizing what Makoto was doing, and turning to frown at him. On these occasions, Makoto felt a quiver in his heart as if Haru were not only _seeing_ him, but also _looking through_ him. Makoto smiled and waved, and Haru returned to his mission to touch every drop of water in the huge swimming pool.

Several hours after they arrived, the pool manager blew the whistle. The shrill shriek sent shivers down Makoto’s spine, and he looked up questioningly. They were the only two in the pool.

“Time to close up, boys.” The manager said roughly.

“Oh, alright. I hadn’t realized how long we’d been here.” Makoto smiled, and looked at Haru, wondering how best to get his attention.

“Your friend there’s gotta go too.” He blew his whistle again, and Makoto’s hands jumped to his ears.

“No, wait-“

“Yo! Swimmy McFly-Fish! Closing time!” Haru didn’t answer.

“He can’t-“

The manager blew the whistle again, “You deaf or something? I don’t like being ignored, kid!”

“Please-“

Another loud shriek, “Kid! I said-“

“YES!” Makoto yelled, voice cracking horribly. The manager looked at him in surprise, “Yes! He _is_ deaf!” Makoto sighed, swim-jogging in Haru’s ever-changing direction.

“Bullshit!” The manager spat, blowing the whistle again, “Kid!” his cheeks were tinted red.

“STOP!” Makoto cried, “I’ll _get_ him!” Finally, Makoto managed to grab one of Haru’s shoulders. He pulled him over to the side, and got both their towels. He frowned at the manager, “Just a second. We’ll leave.”

After they were both dressed, he grabbed Haru’s hand and walked out the door as the Manager watched them from over his nose. He frowned at Makoto and Haru’s clasped hands, and jingled his keys impatiently as they walked at a slower than seeing pace on their way out.

The door slammed behind them as Makoto heard him mutter, “ _damn homos.”_

Grimacing at both the loud noise and the insult, Makoto lead an oblivious Haru away from the swim club, and back to their dorm. It seemed that many of the new students had either finished unpacking, or were taking a break, because the campus was now dotted with young people wearing school colors.

Makoto noticed people’s eyes on them as they walked, but he shook it off. Most people only briefly glanced at their connected hands before looking away, sometimes shrugging.

One guy blew them a kiss and winked mockingly before jogging off laughing with his friends. Makoto twitched. _I’m here for Haru._

A group of girls whispered as they walked by, “How cute! Although, I bet they’ll split after seeing all these college girls. Just can’t compare.”

A girl and her boyfriend walked by hand in hand and reprimanded them for PDA.

Makoto almost stopped to explain their situation. He wanted to stand up on one of the park benches and let everyone know once and for all that they were _not_ together.That they had _only gone swimming,_ and that Makoto was trying to _help_ this guy.

But he didn’t. Because what would that change?

Makoto gave up when a lesbian couple waved frantically at them from across the courtyard. They pushed through the people walking around with coffee and library books to reach Makoto and Haru.

“Hey guys! Wait up, oh my god, save us from these _people._ ”

Suddenly, Makoto felt bad in another way- because he and Haru really _weren’t_ together. He tried to smile weakly at them, hoping they wouldn’t say much.

A brown-eyed girl with short, white-blond hair smiled at Haru. “Hey! Oh man, you must be freshmen, huh? We’re seniors. Don’t worry, the shock will wear off. They’ll get used to you, so… you know.”

Her girlfriend with long black hair eyed Makoto, “Onodera. You?”

Makoto blushed, “I… We’re… I’m Makoto. This is Haru.”

Onodera nodded curtly, “What’s it short for?”

Makoto quickly answered before it looked strange that Haru didn’t. “Haruka.”

“Ah! You’re nervous! So cute! I’m Haruki, so… also a Haru, I guess.” The blond smiled brightly at Makoto. She turned to Haru, “Man, it’s so good to see some other queer folks on campus. I was starting to think we were going to be alone for all four years!”

Haru didn’t answer.

“You seem quiet.” Haruki continued, “I guess even though our names are similar, you’re a lot more like Onodera, huh?” Onodera shot her a look.

Makoto twitched nervously, and Haru put his hand on Makoto’s shoulder.

Suddenly, Haruki frowned, “Are… are you…?”

Makoto blushed, “We have to go.”

Onodera stared at him blankly, “You’re not together, then?”

Makoto looked away, and shook his head.

Haruki looked crushed, “Oh… Okay, I’m sorry.” She leaned into Onodera’s side.

Makoto started walking away, thoroughly embarrassed.

As they left, Haruki and Onodera’s voices faded into the background,

“So, he’s just blind?”

“Yeah.”

“He didn’t talk.”

“Maybe he’s deaf, too.”

“Nah… no way.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of an angsty chapter... Hope you enjoyed anyway!
> 
> In this story, Haru has a small amount of remaining vision, but is profoundly (all-the-way) deaf. Hearing aids just don't work for him.  
> Usher Syndrome causes progressive tunnel vision, so his vision would have closed in from the sides until there wasn't much left. However, when he's in the water, the world opens up to him- he can touch everything the water can.
> 
> Next chapter we'll meet some more characters. You might be wondering "Where the hell even is Rei?"
> 
> Not in the next chapter. But other people are, so hang tight! The dork will arrive shortly.


	4. Chapter 4

College started off without a hitch. Makoto found himself thoroughly enjoying the majority of his classes, and especially the freedom and independence that being on his own offered. A few weeks passed by in a flash, and Makoto was so overwhelmed by studying and trying to figure out his syllabi that he almost didn’t notice the weekends pass. Studying next to Haru at their desks in their room felt almost like they were conquering an incredible feat, but it was okay because they were both in pain. Makoto’s eyes grew heavy from staring at seemingly endless textbook pages and his computer screen; Haru shook out his hands that must have been aching from the hours of reading the plastic-print Braille on his computer.

Even though the beginning of the year was frantic, Makoto made sure to dedicate a few minutes every night to learning the manual alphabet.

Finally, there was a free Saturday. Makoto and Haru walked down to the coffee shop together at ten in the morning to meet up with everyone else.

“MAKOTAN!” Nagisa yelled as the door to the coffee shop jingled open, announcing their arrival.

Rin stood up from a booth where he and someone Makoto hadn’t met yet were sitting. He interpreted Haru’s coffee order for him, then pulled him over to their table. “Hey, Tachibana, you haven’t met my roommate, have you?”

Makoto shook his head, “I’m Tachibana Makoto, nice to meet you.”

The new guy stared into a vending machine pack of potato chips as he responded, “Sousuke.”

Rin frowned, “He’s just mad ‘cause he got a ‘D’ on his paper. He’s usually… well, not exactly friendly…”

Makoto nodded warily and sat down, “Alright.”

A moment later, Nagisa brought their drinks over. “Hey guys! Everyone’s finally here together! Oh, and Makoto’s here for the _first time._ ” He looked at Makoto pointedly, then pulled out his cell phone, “I want a picture!” He waited until everyone was reasonably aware of the situation before he hit the button a million times in succession. “Awesome, thanks!” He glanced back at the empty counter before squishing into the booth next to Makoto.

Haru tapped Rin’s shoulder until Rin tapped Haru’s leg in response, telling him he was watching. Makoto watched with fascination as they spoke, and tried to notice when words were being spelled rather than signed. The few words he saw were spelled way faster that Makoto could read, but he was happy he noticed them anyway.

“Ugh, really? Him?” Rin said out loud, glancing at Makoto, who frowned.

“What?”

Rin rolled his eyes, “He wants to know if you’ll go to the aquarium with him tomorrow.” Sighing, Rin buried his face in his latte to hide the slight blush on his cheeks, “No idea why he couldn’t just ask you himself.”

“His phone has been dead for two days.” Makoto answered, thinking over the request in his head, _I like the aquarium, why shouldn’t I go with Haru? Because Rin is embarrassed, so does that mean- NO, we’re just roommates, we just barely started being friends! I’m sure it’s just that he can’t get around on his own. He probably just needs someone to take him. What could it hurt?_

“Figures.” Rin said, shocking Makoto out of his reverie, “Told you, he hates that thing.”

Makoto nodded, “Yeah, I’ll go.”

“Really?” Rin smirked, “You’re gonna spend hours at the touch tank alone, and that’s only _if_ he doesn’t get you kicked out first.”

“Kicked out?” Makoto frowned, “Why-“

“Fish tanks. He’ll jump in them if you’re not careful,” Sousuke interjected, speaking for the first time since his introduction. “I had to make Rin stop taking him there back in high school, they’d spend hours there and fall behind on their studies.”

“Now he’s having withdrawal symptoms since he hasn’t had time to go since the start of the semester.” Rin smirked at Haru, who looked annoyed at being left out after asking a question.

“Don’t let him take his clothes off.” Rin continued and signed something to Haru, who nodded, “But too late to back out, I just told him you’d go.”

Haru turned in Makoto’s general direction and signed something.

“He says thanks.” Rin translated, stealing a potato chip from Sousuke’s bag.

_Thanks…_ Makoto stored the sign away in his head, promising himself to practice it later. “Wait… take his clothes off?!”

“Hazuki-kun! You’re supposed to sweep the kitchen, right?” A voice called from behind the counter.

“Dammit…” Nagisa cursed and stood up, “Yeah, be right there. Oh, wait!” He looked at everyone excitedly, “You haven’t met my roommate yet!” He turned back to the counter, “Ai-chan! Come here for a second!”

A guy with big eyes and gray hair walked over frowning, “Please, I asked you not to call me that.”

“Guys!” Nagisa ignored him, “This is my roommate Ai-chan!”

“Nitori Aiichirou, actually…” He mumbled.

Makoto shook his hand, “Nice to meet you, Nitori-kun. I’m Tachibana Makoto.”

“Matsuoka Rin.” Rin added, waving.

Nitori’s eyes widened, “Oh… Hi… Yeah, nice to meet you.” He blushed and looked away.

“Sousuke” said Sousuke, going unheard.

“Pft…” Nagisa laughed, and Makoto elbowed him.

“This is Haru.” Rin continued, “He’s Deaf.”

Nitori looked up in shock, “Oh… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, he’s the worst.” He turned to Nagisa, “Also, no way you’re taller than this guy. He’s like, normal height.”

Nagisa huffed, “Yeah, he looked smaller next to everyone else.”

“Hey!” Makoto interrupted, “Is nobody going to follow up on the ‘taking off his clothes thing?”

Rin signed something to Haru, then interpreted back, “He said something like, ‘don’t try to restrain the water when it’s calling for me’? I don’t know what he means, but it sounds like everything else he’s ever said so… Good luck with that, Tachibana.”

Makoto nodded uncomfortably, hoping everything would turn out okay.

The day they went to the aquarium was hot. Sun seemed to pour through the air in buckets, and the wind stayed obnoxiously still. Makoto’s hand was sweaty in Haru’s, and he would have felt embarrassed about it if Haru weren’t just as damp.

The gates to the aquarium opened under a huge arc of water that misted downward. Haru reached up to touch it, spraying the young family behind them. Makoto started to apologize, but the kids laughed and asked him to do it again. Haru just ran off dragging Makoto right to the touch tank, obviously knowing exactly where he was going. He almost ran into a few small children, but they got out of the way in time. Makoto smiled sheepishly at their frowning parents, but was rushed away before he could say anything.

Haru hummed happily as he stuck his hands in the water, searching around for something to grab onto. Makoto sat down next to him and rolled back his sleeves as Haru found a starfish. Haru felt along the top gently, making sure to touch each arm before he let it go. Makoto joined him, shivering at the feeling of a passing stingray. Haru caught and let go of a few more things, before he stopped and frowned. He had a swirly shell in his left hand, and the other hand was spelling something under the water. Makoto watched, then suddenly noticed- he was switching between two different words. Haru’s left hand continued feeling along the ridges of the shell as he talked to himself underwater.

The first word… Makoto watched intently. He was spelling it slowly, it looked like he was trying to pick one. C-R-A-B. _Ah, I got it!_ Makoto flooded with a sense of pride as he identified the first word. S-N-A-I-L. The other word clicked into place shortly. So, he couldn’t tell which the creature was? Makoto looked back at the thing in Haru’s hand- he couldn’t tell either. He tapped Haru on the shoulder, and gently took the shell from him. He flipped it over and looked inside- _legs, definitely legs._ Makoto handed the little hermit crab back to Haru, and shakily spelled out C-R-A-B into his hand.

Haru dropped the crab back into the water with a ‘plop.’ His face broke into the first smile Makoto could remember seeing him wear. Haru squeezed Makoto’s hands gently, and stood up. Suddenly, they were off again in some direction only Haru was aware of, leaving Makoto feeling quite like the one being guided.

Smiling, he realized that Haru didn’t need him here at all.

They went outside and approached the large dolphin tank where they often did shows. At the moment, no show was going on, so the area was empty except for one trainer who was sitting on the platform at the back of the tank, seemingly on break.

The trainer smiled at Haru, then looked in confusion at Makoto. She jumped in the water and swam over, “You aren’t Matsuoka.” She said bluntly, pushing Haru away when he tried to climb into the tank.

“Oh. No. Tachibana, actually.” Makoto pulled Haru’s shirt down when he tried to take it off, blushing.

“Hmm…” She pulled a whistle from her pocket and blew it twice sharply. “I’ve never seen Nanase with anybody else. Well- he comes here alone sometimes, and I’ve had to call the manager. He keeps trying to get in the pool.”

“He really does that, then?” Makoto looked back at Haru bemusedly. “I haven’t known him for long…”

“All the time. He won’t take no for an answer. Does he have some sort of mental disability too?” She put her hand on Haru’s head, effectively stopping him from trying to climb in anymore. A dolphin appeared behind her in response to the whistle.

Makoto shrugged, “I don’t think so… I think he just really likes water.”

Haru tapped Makoto on the shoulder, gesturing something that looked like, “ _What the hell?”_

Makoto thought about it, and spelled choppily to him, “Stop. Dolphins here.”

Haru raised his eyebrows and splashed the water, calling the dolphin over. Makoto felt proud.

“I swear, they all recognize him now.” The trainer looked amusedly at Haru and the dolphin, both of whom were chirping happily at each other. “I think they think he’s one of them.”

Makoto tilted his head at the pair, “Yeah, I think he is too.” Something swelled in Makoto’s heart in that moment, as he watched the way the corners of Haru’s eyes would lift as he smiled almost imperceptibly- yet on him it somehow made all the difference. His chest fluttered, so before he could get embarrassed about it, he took a picture for Nagisa.

Haru pulled him over, guiding Makoto’s hand to the dolphin’s snout. He moved Makoto’s hand for him all the way to the top of the dolphin’s head. Makoto blushed and shifted his weight embarrassedly. Haru waved at the trainer then held out his free hand, and she gave him a fish. Makoto suddenly thought, “ _Do a trick, get a fish.”_ He could definitely see why people called Haru a dolphin.

The dolphin opened its mouth wide, and Haru moved Makoto’s hand to touch the little sharp row of teeth. The dolphin just waited there with its mouth open obediently. Makoto could practically see its eyes roll. Finally, Haru fed it the fish, and it closed its mouth and splashed at them. Makoto jumped away. Haru splashed back.

The trainer snorted and pushed away from the side of the pool, “You guys are cute. My break’s over, but tell Nanase I’ll see him next time.” She dove underwater and swam away.

The dolphin pressed its snout against Haru’s hand and swam away too. Haru grabbed a hold of Makoto and, without warning, took off again, leading him to the next activity.

They had set one foot back on campus before Nagisa pounced. “Makotan, Haru-chan! How did it go? Did you take pictures?” He gasped, “Did you kiss?”

Makoto shoved him away, blushing furiously, “It wasn’t a date!”

Nagisa smiled pityingly at him, “Yeah, okay, Mako-chan. You’re wrong, but okay.”

Makoto spelled ‘Nagisa’ to Haru. Haru nodded and moved a little closer to Makoto.

Nagisa reached out and grabbed Haru’s hand, “Haru-chan and I are going to go get coffee and talk about your date while you go back to your dorm and be in denial.”

Makoto’s face fell.

“Also you have to go because Rin’s waiting for you with some protective dad speech I think. Or he’s pissed for some other reason. I can’t tell, he always seems pissed.” Nagisa dragged Haru off, without allowing Makoto to respond.

Makoto blanched, “Okay…” He answered, mostly to himself.

Rin, as promised, was waiting in front of their residence hall. “Tachibana, what the hell?” He called out as soon as Makoto was in earshot.

“We’re not dating, I didn’t do anything!” Makoto protested.

Rin’s annoyed expression broke momentarily, confusion seeping across his features. “What? I know… What?” He shook his head, “No, a package came for you. They wont let me take it into the building, so I have to wait out here with it.”

Makoto was confused too, “What do you mean? What is it?” A large cardboard box had his name written across the side in hiragana. “Is that from a kid?” he asked, walking up to it.

“You tell me.” Rin responded, looking inside.

Curled up on a blanket in the box was a white cat.

“Oh no…” Makoto sighed, staring down at it. “It’s from my younger siblings… This cat used to live outside my house, it doesn’t belong to anyone.”

Rin shrugged, “Well, it’s your problem now. I’m going inside.”

Makoto looked down at the sleeping cat in despair, “What am I going to do with you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haru only seems cold to adults. Children and dolphins love Haru. He's like the Snow White of children and dolphins, except even he could find his way out of a forest given 15 years.
> 
> This chapter was a lot longer than the others, but I hope you liked it anyway!
> 
> As always, I so appreciate everyone's comments, kudos, and other feedback, thanks so much for reading, you guys!


	5. Chapter 5

“Is that a cat?”

Makoto was sitting outside the residence hall when a guy with pink hair approached him.

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Makoto picked the little white ball of fur up and stared at it. The cat purred.

“It’s so cute! Where did you find it?” The guy sat down on the bench next to Makoto and scratched the cat behind the ears. The cat purred.

“Ah… my siblings mailed her to me actually.” Makoto grinned, handing the cat to the other guy.

“Wow, really? Cool siblings. I’ve got a little brother, I don’t think he’d ever send me a pet.” The cat arched it’s back to the guy’s touch.

Makoto smiled at him, “She likes you. What’s your name?”

“Shigino Kisumi. Just started this year. You?”

“Tachibana Makoto. It’s my first year too.” Nagisa appeared from around the corner, dragging Haru behind him.

“Mako-chan! Hey!” They arrived at the bench panting, “Look, I brought Haru-chan! He taught me how to say penguin in sign language!”

Kisumi put a hand on Makoto’s shoulder, “Nice to meet you, Makoto. These are your friends?”

“Nagisa!” Nagisa introduced himself. “This is Haru, he’s deaf and blind, and he’s Mako-chan’s roommate. I think they’re dating!”

“We’re not.” Makoto corrected, standing up to let Haru know he was there. He spelled his name in Haru’s hand. Smiling as he noticed his speed and fluidity improving.

Haru nodded, then squinted at Kisumi. Makoto spelled his name as well.

“His name is _Kisumi?”_ Nagisa asked incredulously. “That’s awesome, I wish I had your name!”

“You would abuse it.” Makoto pointed out, bringing Haru over to the bench to meet the cat.

“Yeah, that’s the point.” Nagisa noticed the cat, “Oh man! Is that the cat from your house, Mako-chan?”

Makoto nodded, “I don’t know what to do with it!”

Haru picked the cat up out of Kisumi’s lap, and Kisumi frowned, “Should we really let him hold it?”

Nagisa frowned, “What? Yeah, why not? It seems friendly enough… Oh! Mako-chan, you can bring it to the Café! Then we’ll have our very own cat Café!”

“I’m not sure your boss would like that…” Makoto started, but Nagisa had already begun dragging Haru off in the direction of the café, taking the cat with them.

Kisumi grinned, starting to follow them, “I wouldn’t mind a coffee anyway. Let me buy you one, Mako-chan?” He winked and jogged off after Nagisa and Haru.

Makoto sighed, and hurried to catch up with them.

Later that night, or rather- early the next morning, Haru and Makoto sat awake studying. It was four AM, his back ached, and he wished that he sun would rise so that he had an excuse to go for a walk- ‘The sunrise was just too beautiful, I couldn’t sit studying for another minute!’ That’s what he would tell himself when he was unprepared for History in five hours. Instead, the sun stayed firmly below the horizon, daring him to keep reading the same sentence over and over.

Haru yawned, reaching over to check if Makoto was still awake. Makoto grabbed his outstretched hand, and let his own go limp in Haru’s when he realized he was too tired to properly spell anything. Haru nodded as if he understood, and moved Makoto’s hand for him, bending down his three middle fingers so only his thumb and pinky were outstretched. Makoto’s eyes drooped, and he felt them closing before he could do anything about it. Still, he felt Haru move his hand back and forth a couple times, bringing a word to his mind.

“Same.”

That was the word for same. Makoto didn’t know many words yet, but he knew that one. So Haru was exhausted too? He was too tired to feel excited about understanding, so he just signed the word “Yes.” He dropped his head on the table, wishing he were able to fall asleep anywhere but a bed. Haru must have felt the table shake, because he put his hand on Makoto’s head, like he was confirming that that’s really what happened.

Haru made a noise of contempt in the back of his throat and spelled to Makoto, “Sleep.”

Makoto sighed, and stood up, realizing Haru was right. He wasn’t going to get any work done this way, he had to have better discipline during the day. He was just about to walk to his bed when Haru grabbed his wrist tightly, stopping him. Before Makoto realized what was happening, Haru had wrapped his arms around Makoto’s waist, pulling him in.

After a moment of shock, Makoto smiled, and hugged back. “Goodnight, Haru.” He whispered, suddenly feeling a lot less tired.

Makoto slept well for the rest of the night, and didn’t even mind the alarm clock when it woke him in a few hours… that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the shortest chapter yet I think... Ah well, I'll add the next one in the morning. I just really wanted to get Kissme into the story already. I like him a lot.


	6. Chapter 6

Weeks passed. The cat- dubbed ‘fish’ by Haru- lay curled up on a towel in the corner of their dorm. Midterms were underway, and everyone hated everything.

Except for today.

For whatever reason, maybe the shining sun, or the fact that it was Saturday, everyone just seemed to be in a good mood. Makoto watched Haru squeeze Fish’s paw lightly to feel the claws protrude, and he realized that he was really happy. He was smiling, not for any reason other than he just felt genuinely content in that moment.

Someone on the floor below was playing a song Makoto hadn’t heard since childhood. It was one of those songs that wasn’t particularly meaningful in any other way than that he couldn’t remember ever not knowing it. He remembered his dad calling him over to listen every time it came on the radio. He remembered his mom humming the melody as she drove him to swimming lessons. He sang it to his two younger siblings when they couldn’t fall asleep.

_Over the water, there’s one distant shore_

_Someday we’ll go there, someday I’m sure_

_And I hope hand-in-hand_

_We can touch the fresh sand_

_Of that wise foreign land_

_Because my hands were made for yours._

The music swelled at the end, full of hope and promise. Every note rang out clearly, familiar and anticipated, each strike of a key drawing out another childhood memory- a sense of nostalgia. Somehow, it fit today perfectly. His parents and siblings were gone, and he wasn’t a child anymore, but something about this room on this day with Fish and the cat reminded Makoto of family.

The last note resounded, root of it’s key, ending the song exactly the way every other song ended. Haru sat down on Makoto’s bed next to him, speaking in words he was sure Makoto would understand- slowly and deliberately.

“Will you go to the pool with me tonight?” Fish leapt up onto the bed and nuzzled Haru’s side as he spoke.

Makoto took his hands to answer, “Sure. When?”

“Just later.” Haru said, shoving Fish away when she tried to climb up his arm.

“Okay.”

Haru nodded solemnly and walked over to his bed, flipping open a book he seemed to have brought from home. The pages looked worn, and the little Braille bumps didn’t look quite so crisp as a few of his schoolbooks.

Suddenly Makoto remembered that Haru couldn’t hear music. Everything Makoto had just felt about his childhood- that was an entire language Haru just couldn’t understand.

For the first time since they’d met, Makoto felt a twang of pity for his roommate.

Somehow, through everything, Haru had made his life look normal. He went to college like everyone else. He studied for and stressed over midterms like everyone else. He got coffee, went swimming, made friends, and had cats just like everyone else.

So why couldn’t he do this? It didn’t make sense to Makoto- after all of Rin’s insisting that Haru was normal, after all the countless little daily things he did without thinking because they were _normal_ , was there no way for him to participate in the most universal form of communication human beings had?

Makoto was more upset than he felt he probably should be.

He opened his laptop to the sign language dictionary that was now perpetually open on his homepage. Creating a new tab, he searched the first sentence he could think of, ‘music for the deaf.’

The rest of the day was spent half-attempting to write an essay while watching video after video of interpreted music. Eventually, Makoto saved and quit his essay, preferring to sit and watch the beautiful motions of the signers. He had no idea what they were saying, but he could feel the emotion coming from them. Music interpreting was far above his skill level of a few handy sentences, but it was fascinating regardless. Dozens of his favorite songs had been changed to sign language by thousands of different people. He only stopped watching when Haru shook his bed and held out a swimsuit.

“Come on.”

Makoto took the swimsuit from him, briefly wondering how he found it in the back of Makoto’s drawer, but pushed the thought aside as Haru dragged him out of the room in the direction of the Swim Club, apparently concerned that Makoto couldn’t make it on his own.

On the way to the Swim Club, people stared. Many of them had figured out the situation, but Makoto was sure it still looked odd to watch a Seeing student be lead by a Blind one.

A set of speakers above the pool played some popular song Makoto had heard a thousand times, but didn’t know the name of. It was _everywhere._ Music was constantly around them, and Makoto hadn’t even _noticed._ It was just something he took for granted. Makoto followed Haru into the water, still feeling ridiculously upset. It’s not like Haru could even miss something he’d never heard, but for whatever reason, Makoto missed it for him. Haru swam by, just barely missing hitting him like always, when he suddenly stopped and stood up.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, grabbing Makoto’s shoulder to make sure he was facing the right direction.

Would Haru be offended if he asked? Did he even possess the vocabulary to ask?

“Do you… you could see back then… when you were a kid. Right?” Makoto asked nervously, hands shaking.

“Yeah.” Haru nodded.

“Did you… like music?” Makoto watched Haru’s impassive face carefully, looking for some clue that he was headed the wrong direction.

Haru just stood there for a moment before answering, “Yeah. I still do.”

Makoto frowned, a thousand questions popping into his mind. He searched, but found himself unable to ask a single one. Haru’s hands waited patiently on top of his, expecting some follow up. Eventually Makoto just dropped his hands, giving up.

Haru looked upset, but unable to say anything back that Makoto could understand, he turned and swam away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deaf music is beautiful. Even if you can't sign, watching them move with the music is a really cool thing!


	7. Chapter 7

“-but I mean, this is college, so everyone’s doing it, right? Makotan?”

Makoto had been tuning out the conversation, but snapped back in when he heard his ‘name’ being called. “Uh… sorry, what?”

“Hooking up! There’s just _couples. Everywhere.”_ Nagisa sighed, glancing around the room at the admittedly excessive amount of couples on a coffee-shop date. “And I’m _single._ I want to meet someone, but everyone I talk to is terrible! I want to get out there. Right, Mako-chan?”

Makoto looked away, embarrassed, “Oh. I don’t know.”

Nagisa huffed at him, “Yeah, whatever. We all know who Makotan likes. Right, Rin-chan?”

“Nope.” Rin responded, looking down.

“Haru.” Sousuke answered for him.

_“Nope.”_ Rin insisted, shoving Haru’s hands off of him and refusing to continue his half-ass interpretation of their conversation.

“Please stop…” Makoto buried his head in his hands, blushing furiously.

The door jingled as a new customer walked in.

“Ai-chan!” Nagisa called to the back, “Someone’s-Oh wait.” He looked at the guy who was approaching the counter. “No, I got this.”

Their entire table turned to stare at Nagisa as he went behind the counter to take the guy’s order. Makoto saw Rin briefly explain what was happening with a smirk plastered across his face.

“Hey, you can call me Nagisa. What’ll it be?” He pulled out an entirely unnecessary notepad, as the orders were all digital.

“Small chai, thanks.” The guy said, shrinking a little under Nagisa’s gaze.

He grinned, “Sounds great, what name can I put on that?”

“And on our wedding cert-“ Sousuke started to supply, but Rin clamped a hand over his mouth.

“Ah, Ryugazaki.” The guy handed over his student ID card, which Nagisa took a brief moment to read before swiping.

“Fantastic. That’ll be out in just a minute.” He smiled again and handed Ryugazaki back his ID.

“Um, okay, thanks.” He started to walk over to a free table to wait.

“Anytime, Rei-chan.” Nagisa smirked, writing something down on his completely unnecessary notepad.

Ryugazaki stopped in his tracks and shifted his weight back and forth as if deciding what to do before visibly shrugging it off and sitting down in an empty seat.

“Pft.” Rin laughed, explaining it to Haru, who nodded solemnly.

“That was ridiculous.” Sousuke intoned, shaking his head at Nagisa’s back as he prepared the tea.

Makoto shifted in his seat, “Hey, Rin, I was wondering… Don’t translate for a second.”

“I’m not, my hands hurt.”

“Oh, okay… I was wondering- what kind of music does Haru like?” Makoto ignored Sousuke’s raised eyebrows.

“Loud.” Rin answered, sighing. “Really fucking loud music.”

“Got your order, Rei-chan!” Nagisa called over a blushing Ryugazaki.

Makoto nodded. That made sense. “Did he watch interpreted music when he could see?”

Rin went still, not answering for a while. When he did respond, something had changed in his eyes. “Yeah. That was… that was actually the thing he was most upset about when they found out he had Usher. All sorts of visual performance. Haru’s not-“

“Oh man! Did you see that guy?” Nagisa sat back down at the table after Ryugazaki left. “Aaahh, so pretty. I’m gonna make him cry.”

Rin stood up, “I’m going to the pool. Haru. Others. You can come if you want.”

“No, I have an essay to work on,” Sousuke downed the last of his coffee, “So do you.”

“Whatever. Haru’s already got his swimsuit on and so do I. I’m taking him down there.” Rin pulled Haru out the door by the arm. “If you’re coming… if not I’ll talk to you later, Makoto. Don’t look so anxious, I’ll answer your questions.”

“Y- yeah.” Makoto thought about it, “Yeah, I’ll change into my swimsuit and meet you there.”

Rin nodded, and walked out the door. Before it closed, Makoto saw Haru spell out his name.

Ma-ko-to.

The water was cold. Even though the pool was indoors, it was a bit too far into the fall for swimming, but that didn’t seem to bother Haru. Rin crossed the short length of the pool in one breath to meet up with Makoto on the other side.

“I’ve never seen you swim before. Can you?” He pushed his hair out of his eyes.

“Yes.” Makoto answered, trying to keep the defensive tone out of his voice.

Rin grinned, “Race me.”

“What?”

“Yeah, Haru can judge, come on it’ll be fun.” Rin told Haru what to do. “If you win, I’ll tell you his whole life story. I’ve known this guy since birth.”

Makoto blushed, “I didn’t ask-“

“ON YOUR MARK!” Bellowed Rin. “You hit right hand, I’ll hit left. GET SET!”

Makoto felt flustered, but called out the final mark anyway, “Go!”

They took off across the pool, Rin swimming butterfly, Makoto freestyle. It wasn’t his favorite, but it was fast. And something about Rin made him want to win. He gasped for air as he tore through the water, neck and neck with Rin. His heart pounded. Rin looked over at Makoto and _smirked._ What the hell? Makoto put on a burst of speed, jolting ahead momentarily, but falling behind shortly after as Rin effortlessly overtook him. Makoto watched in frustration as Rin struck Haru’s left hand with a resounding _smack._ Makoto reached him a stroke later, hitting his right hand with a very noticeable time difference.

“Ahh, that was fun.” Rin sighed, hopping up on the edge of the pool. “You’re faster than I thought you would be.”

Makoto leaned against the edge panting, “How do you do that?”

“What, win?” Rin laughed, “The other option is losing, and I don’t lose.”

Makoto nodded, feeling annoyed. That was a terrible way to live life. “So I guess I don’t get a story now?”

Rin shrugged, “Maybe I’ll just put less effort into it. Haru was bothering me about you anyway; you asked him if he listens to music? He didn’t know how to answer you.”

Makoto hopped up on the side of the pool, staring down at the water as he sat next to Rin, “Yeah, I don’t know many words yet.”

Rin shook his head, “No, I mean, he really didn’t know what to say. Haru has always been a really quiet guy by anyone’s standards. His parents tried to get him to voice, and got frustrated when he couldn’t.” Rin kicked a wave of water at Haru, who swam by in that moment. “He went to an oral program for a while. It was in a totally different part of the country, so I didn’t see him for a long time. Eventually, they gave him up as a bad job, and he came home. He used to hang out at my house a lot, because of my dad. We could all sign, and my dad was grass-roots, capital ‘D’ Deaf. I think he always wanted a deaf kid, so Haru was great for him. My dad showed him all sorts of visual performance, brought him to all these meetings and events. Haru just ate it up. I’ve never seen either of them happier.”

Makoto nodded, unsure of what to say or do.

“His world closed off a lot when my dad died.” Rin continued, “He was Haru’s only link to anyone else like him, so… He was pretty broken up. This is all back when he could see, so things like visual expression meant everything to him.” Haru swam by again, grabbing Rin’s foot, and trying to pull him into the water. Rin shook him off, “I’m talking, idiot.” He rolled his eyes as Haru swam away. “My mom took him to the doctor when we were about eight. He ran into a tree by the river behind our house and hit his head pretty bad. Mom had to jump in the water to get him out. Kou was tiny (that’s my sister), she cried more than him. Come to think of it, I don’t think he even reacted. Anyway, we were at the hospital when they told us his peripheral vision was abnormal. I don’t really remember what happened next, but he went to the doctor several more times before they r-realized it was getting worse.” Rin broke off, looking like he might cry.

“You… you don’t have to-” Makoto tried.

“No, you wanted to know didn’t you, Tachibana!?” Rin cut him off, “What music meant to Haruka? This is his life. This is what he went through. He wasn’t meant to be pitied, and he doesn’t need your or anybody’s philanthropy!” Rin jumped back in the water with a splash, looking up at Makoto angrily. “I have no idea what you did to make Haru like you, but you’d better be really fucking serious if you’re going to continue.” He sighed, ducked underwater for a moment, then pushed himself back up onto the poolside.

“Rin I-“ Makoto began.

“No, it’s fine.” He brushed Makoto off, “You asked, I offered, I’m sorry. I guess I should at least tell you the point of this rant. I’ve never seen Haru cry. But the closest he’s ever come in front of me was when he was ten at a performance at the Deaf school. I don’t even remember what story they were telling, but when it was over, Haru ran out of the room. He didn’t understand a single word. That was the worst time of his life. He loved music, and poetry, and storytelling. Then it was gone. Yeah, he told you he still listens to music. He does, all the time. He can feel the beat in his ears through headphones if he turns them up really loud. If someone’s playing music through a speaker at the right volume, he can feel the bass pump in his chest. But other than rhythm, the meaning of the music is lost to him. He loved it, he misses it, and he can’t get it back. That’s what he didn’t know how to tell you.” Rin stood up, and went to go dry off. “I have an essay to write. Bring Haru home.”

Makoto nodded, unable to meet Rin’s eyes. He jumped back in the water, and Haru swam up to meet him.

“What happened?” Haru asked.

“It’s fine.” Makoto watched Rin leave.

“Where’s Rin?”

“Gone.” Makoto heard the door to the outside slam louder than normal.

“Where?”

“Dorms.” Makoto spelled, not knowing the word. Haru showed him.

“Okay. He’s with Sousuke. For homework.” Haru informed him, hair falling in his face. “Rin’s upset.” It wasn’t a question.

_How did you know that?_ “Yeah.” Makoto admitted.

“Why?”

_He doesn’t trust me with you._ “Let’s go to the aquarium.” Makoto changed the subject.

“Okay. Why is Rin upset?”

Makoto sighed, trying to figure out what to say, “He… He told me…” What was the concept he was trying to explain? “He said you knew his dad.” Makoto settled on. It was true. It wasn’t the point, but it was easy to say.

Haru nodded knowingly, “Yeah. I did. He’s dead now.”

“I know.” Makoto frowned. He wasn’t quite used to Haru’s bluntness yet.

“You talked about music.” Haru told him.

Makoto’s eyes widened in shock. How the hell Haru knew some things was beyond him. “Yeah. You miss it?”

“Sometimes.” Haru looked away. “Rin wont sing anymore.”

Makoto frowned, doubting what he saw. _Sing?_ “What do you mean?”

Haru shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “He used to sing for me. Then he stopped. I don’t know why.”

Makoto nodded, feeling something twist in his heart. He had felt like he knew Haru. Now he was starting to think he really knew nothing about him. Rin either, for that matter. The more he tried to know, the less he seemed to understand. He felt like he and Haru came from two different planets, and they may as well have.

It was strange. Haru didn’t have to include Makoto, but he did. Why wasn’t he roommates with Rin? Could Sousuke understand him? Why would he go to the effort to teach Makoto his language when it would be a thousand times easier to simply not?

Makoto wished he could ask these things, and countless more, but he couldn’t. The difference between them had never felt quite so real as it did in that moment, and yet it was Makoto who was left feeling impaired. That must be how he looked to Rin and to Haru. The one who knew nothing. The one struggling to communicate. The one with the disability.

Not Haru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Makoto. I had the same realization when I went to my first big ASL event. If Deafness is a communication barrier, aren't you the one impaired when you're the minority?
> 
> To all my ASL/JSL/AnySL impaired friends, don't worry! You can overcome this. I believe in you! <3
> 
> Also, Big Brother Butterfly is here! That child is the greatest roller coaster of embarrassment and joy that I have yet to find.
> 
> Nagisa stole his phone number off his ID. Good job, NG.


	8. Chapter 8

Makoto spent awhile on the phone with the aquarium, working out all the details for an idea he had. He hoped Haru would like it. The days were getting colder, so he had to do it quickly.

“I mean, I took Rei-chan to the movies. Then we went to this really cool festival at the science museum? It was great because it had lots of stuff you can mix with other stuff to make one new stuff. Also science, ‘cause my boyfriend’s a nerd.” Nagisa had started using the word ‘boyfriend’ as much as he could, just in case there were still any doubts. “Point is, first dates have to be meaningful, Mako-chan.”

Nagisa had given Makoto a very long and very unsolicited lecture on the importance of the first date. Makoto had tried in vain to insist that that _was absolutely not_ what was going on, but… Less and less people believed him.

“ _I_ believe you, Makoto.” Kisumi had said one day, sitting on a park bench next to him, both of them half-attempting to understand Aristotle.

“Thanks.”

“You guys just aren’t exclusive yet or something?”

Makoto gave up on Aristotle in annoyance.

The morning that Makoto had planned for had great weather. That was a relief, because otherwise he might need to cancel. Haru said he didn’t care if the water was too cold, but Makoto was still concerned for his health. Hand-in-hand, they made their way to the aquarium, Makoto making some attempt to explain where they were, who was around them, and generally what was going on. Haru nodded, but whether or not he understood was another matter entirely. At last, they could feel the spray of water from the arch above the aquarium gate on their faces. Haru perked up instantly, the aquarium was supposed to be closed today, but Makoto had asked that they turn on the archway so Haru could tell where they were.

“This is the aquarium.” Haru told him, pulling Makoto forwards.

“Yeah.” Makoto tried to keep up.

“It’s closed today.” Haru pushed the door open, letting out a burst of cold air.

“Mostly.” Makoto responded, changing to pull Haru along behind him. “I want to show you something.”

Haru nodded, following quietly.

Smiling, Makoto led him through the main building to the large habitat out back. Haru’s eyes widened as soon as he realized where they were.

“Nanase-san! Good to see you!” One of the dolphin trainers appeared from behind a door.

Makoto did his best to translate.

“What’s happening?” Haru asked, sticking a hand in the water of the dolphin tank.

“What’s happening?” Makoto asked for him, putting a hand on Haru’s shoulder.

“You brought your swimsuit, I hope?” The trainer grinned, nodding at Makoto, who tried his best.

“Yeah.” Haru said.

“Always.” Makoto added.

“I won’t stop you if you get in today.” The trainer laughed, climbing the stairs to the tank.

As soon as Makoto had finished relaying the sentence, Haru tore his shirt off, foregoing the stairs and leaping right into the water. Makoto took the more traditional route, and made sure their clothes were put in a dry area before getting in.

As soon as Haru felt him in the water, he swam over to Makoto, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Makoto smiled and squeezed Haru’s hand.

“Thank you.” Haru signed, squinting up at Makoto’s face. Makoto wondered how much his eyes were picking up.

A dolphin nudged Haru from behind, chirping loudly in greeting. Haru made some noise of recognition, turning to say hello.

This was the first time Haru had any experience with the full form of a dolphin. “It’s big.” He announced, pulling Makoto over. “See?”

Truly, the dolphin and Haru were about the same size. Makoto realized that Haru hadn’t ever been able to touch more than the dolphin’s head and fins. Did he remember what dolphins looked like from when he was a kid? Even if he did, he would have just seen them in books, right? His image would have been distorted through time and childhood as well.

The dolphin seemed to watch with some amount of understanding as Haru talked to it. Makoto tried to pick up as much as he could.

“We have the same favorite food. Mackerel. That’s my favorite fish. I have a friend named Rin, he calls me dolphin sometimes. My sign name looks like the word for dolphin, so do I look like you? I don’t think so, I have legs. Really, very different shape. But maybe Sighted people think I look like you. Or my behavior. I don’t know. They might be making fun of me, but I don’t mind dolphins, so I don’t care.”

The dolphin and Haru seemed to click, and in no time, they were swimming together, speaking in two submarine-capable languages that the other couldn’t understand. The dolphin clicked its high-pitched laughing noise, and Haru answered with equal enthusiasm, splashing the water as his hands moved.

The trainer swam up behind Makoto, adding Japanese to the mix, “This was really good idea. Nanase-san’s our dolphin’s favorite visitor. They all know him whenever they see him, and they get excited.”

Makoto nodded, “Haru’s the same. Thank you so much for setting this up for me.”

The trainer waved him off, “Not at all, anything for Nanase. He doesn’t get to come to the public performances, so equal access, right?”

“Right.” Makoto agreed, “Even so, thank you for all your effort.”

The trainer nodded, then smiled over at Haru, “Effort for you too. You must like him a lot, huh?”

Makoto blushed, turning to also look in Haru’s direction, “Yeah. I do.”

He really did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, chapter eight. Thanks so much to everyone who's supported me thus far! This has been so much fun for me. But it's not over yet! There's still more things to come, some ships to make canon...
> 
> Next time I'll introduce someone who only made it into the series for about a frame.
> 
> Enjoy the fluff, because I'm afraid it wont last forever.
> 
> See you in a couple days again for chapter nine!


	9. Chapter 9

 “Haru!” Rin dashed down the hall to Haru and Makoto’s dorm, heart pounding. “Tachibana! Open up, dammit!” He slammed his fist against the door, trying not to feel weak and useless when nobody responded.

Finally, Makoto opened the door. “Rin? What’s wrong? Sorry I had headphones on and-“

“Shut up, oh my god, shut up.” Rin shoved him aside, “Where’s Haru?”

“Um… I think he went to the showers. He had a towel, and he just came back from the pool.” Makoto looked at him with concern. “Rin, what’s the matter?”

Rin growled in frustration.  “No! I can’t get to him in the showers! Why is this the only damn school ever to have locks?!”

“Lot’s of schools have-“

“His parents are here!” Rin choked, “I have to warn him before-“

There was another knock on the door.

“Haruka? Haruka’s roommate? Could you open the door please, it’s Mrs. Nanase.”

“Shit!” Rin mouthed, backing into a corner.

Tentatively, Makoto opened the door to find a perfectly lovely looking woman standing there smiling. “He-hello. I’m Tachibana Makoto… I guess my roommate is your son?”

“Nice to meet you, Tachibana-kun! Is my son here?” She glanced around the room behind him, “Oh! Matsuoka-kun! Have you seen Haruka around?”

“No.” Rin answered shortly, trying to suppress his anxiety.

“Don’t tell me he’s walking around alone?” She asked, a terribly familiar note of warning making it’s way into her voice.

Rin shook his head, “No, he’s… He’s in the showers. I know where he is.” He walked out of Haru’s room, closing the door behind him before she could look anymore. Makoto’s face held an expression of confusion before Rin closed the door on him.

They walked down the hall together, and approached a flight of stairs. Mrs. Nanase tried to make small talk.

“I see the speech therapy has worked beautifully for you. You speak like an entirely different person!” She smiled warmly, which turned Rin’s stomach.

“Yeah.” Rin had hated speech therapy. He didn’t see the point when he barely ever used his voice as a kid. But his mother (along with Mrs. Nanase’s encouragement) had decided it was best for him, to get rid of the few audible qualities he had picked up from his dad. Really, his speech changed the most when he joined the swim club and had the need to speak to the other kids- not from the therapy sessions. At least, that’s how Rin saw it.

“Hmm, I wish Haruka had had half the dedication you had in that area. I suppose he still wouldn’t have sounded half as clear as you, but at least he would have been able to _communicate._ ” She shook her head sadly as they approached the door to the showers.

“I’ll go get him now, then…” Rin left her outside, taking deep breaths when he closed the door behind him. _Come on,_ he chastised himself, _she’s not that bad. She just doesn’t know what she’s talking about. These are your childhood emotions getting the better of you._ Clenching his jaw in determination, he looked for the shower Haru was in, shaking the door as hard as he could when he found it. It took a while, but eventually, Haru noticed and shut off the water.

A moment later, he opened the door, towel wrapped around his waist. “Who’s that?” He signed.

Rin grabbed his hands, “Rin. Hurry and get dressed, there’s a problem.”

“Why were you doing that? I’m in the shower.” Haru frowned at him.

Rin sighed, “Your mom’s here.”

Haru froze, “No, I’m at college.”

“She’s outside the showers.” Rin’s eyes widened as Haru’s hands went limp in his. “You okay?”

“I don’t want to leave yet.” Haru signed with one hand, the other held Rin’s tightly.

“She… She didn’t say that.” Rin felt worse about giving him hope.

Haru paused, knowing what was going to happen next. “Okay. Two minutes.”

“Two minutes.” Rin confirmed.

Mrs. Nanase was waiting expectantly outside the door. “Well?”

“Two minutes.” Rin relayed, “He’s getting dressed.”

“That’s fine.” She nodded. “I heard you aren’t his roommate.”

Rin paled, “Yeah.”

“You told me you would be there for him.” She frowned.

“With respect, Mrs. Nanase, Tachibana-san is a really good guy.” Rin tried to look directly into her eyes, feeling much like he did as a kid watching her talk to Haru. “He’s even learned some sign.”

“Really? Why can’t they talk with his phone?” She frowned.

Rin broke eye contact first, and felt like a coward. “I don’t know.”

There was a long silence before she spoke again, “I don’t want my son speaking a pseudo-language. I thought he was coming here to learn.”

There was another long silence before Haru opened the door, looking pale.

“Anyone?” He asked the air.

Rin took his hand, “I’m here.”

“Mom?” Haru asked.

She put a hand on his cheek, leaning in close. He squinted at her. “Hello, Haruka.” She spoke clearly and slowly in Japanese. “I need to talk to you.”

Haru shook his head, “I don’t understand.”

She sighed, bringing his hand to her cheek to feel her mouth move, “I need to talk to you.”

“Oh. To me? Why?” He signed at her.

“Why?” She stepped away suddenly, confusing Haru. “Where are his hearing aids?” She asked Rin, “No wonder he can’t understand. Tell him.”

“She wants to know what you did with your hearing aids.” Rin cringed as he repeated her.

“They don’t work. I don’t like them.” Haru shrugged.

“They don’t work, so he doesn’t like them.” Rin relayed.

“They _help_ at least.” Haru’s mom said. “Let’s go get them.” She said to Haru, again leaning in close so he could see her better.

Haru allowed himself to be dragged off by his Mom, Rin following closely.

The Nanase’s sat on Haru’s bed back in the dorm, Makoto and Rin watching from Makoto’s bed. There followed a painfully slow and stammering conversation about the importance of hearing aids between Haru and Mrs. Nanase, involving her speaking out loud, and Haru attempting to fingerspell everything he was saying. Eventually this resulted in Haru bringing out his laptop and Braille keyboard so they could talk better.

Rin read over their shoulders.

“Also, your father and I saw that you finally declared your major.”

“Yeah.”

“Yes, Ma’am," she corrected.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“We need to talk about the subject.” She shook her head at Makoto, as if they were both agreeing that Haru was being ridiculous.

“I like my subject.”

“I thought we decided you were going into mathematics? Or even Computer Science would be okay, if you like that better.” She frowned at him, waiting for him to read what she typed.

“I like the one I picked.” Haru insisted.

Rin realized that even he had no idea what Haru had declared. His interest piqued.

“There’s no way you can handle that.” Mrs. Nanase argued, sighing audibly.

Makoto signed to Rin so Mrs. Nanase couldn’t see, “What did he pick?”

“No idea.” Rin responded.

“Yes I can. I like it.” Haru said again.

“If you continue to insist on disobeying me, I will have no problem with taking you out of school. This isn’t the only instance, Haruka. I thought Matsuoka was supposed to be your roommate?”

“I can live without him. I want to.” Haru was getting more and more visibly upset. “He’s right across the hall, but I wanted to meet new people. If I’m roommates with Rin, I’ll never make myself try to talk to anyone else.”

“I’m worried about your safety, Haruka!”

“I like Makoto! He swims.” Haru hit the keys with greater force as he typed, the loud clicking echoing through the room.

“I’m sure you do, but he doesn’t know how to take care of you.” She shook her head condescendingly at him. Rin scowled.

“I don’t want him to! Mom, I don’t need him to. I know how to get around campus, I know where and when my classes are, I know how to order at the cafeteria, I have a team of interpreters in my classes, so I’m self-reliant.” Growling in frustration, he slammed his fist on the keyboard, creating a line of gibberish on their word processing document.

Rin had never seen Haru say that much, that passionately at once. Actually, he had never seen Haru that angry before at all.

“Haruka, be gentle.” His mother reprimanded. “I’m not saying you aren’t capable of many things. You just need a little more supervision, and that’s fine! All I’m saying is that you need to follow the plan your father and I have laid out for you. I’ll see if I can arrange something with the residence people to get you roomed with Rin-“

Haru shoved her hands off his keyboard, “I DON’T WANT TO BE ROOMED WITH RIN. THIS ROOM MAKOTO AND ME LIVE I LIKE THAT. STAY I’M WANTING.”

Rin cringed as he saw Haru slip back into sign language grammar. Not only did that mean he had finally had enough, but his mother hated when he wrote like that.

“Haruka, you speak a beautiful language and I expect you to use it properly!” She slapped the back of his wrist.

Haru froze. He was still for a moment before everything exploded again. He stood up and away from the keyboard, and started signing at his mom.

Rin interpreted, shocked, “Yes I do. My language _is_ beautiful, so I will use it properly. Rin, tell her what I’m saying. I like my major. I get to use my hands, and I’m good at that. I like my roommate, he took me to swim with the dolphins at the aquarium. I have friends here, I don’t want to leave. I can talk here, and I get to do things for myself. If I need help, I ask. Sometimes I need help. Sometimes I don’t. Rin can help me, but so can Makoto. He’s learning sign for me. Why can’t you learn sign for me?” Rin’s voice cracked, and Haru dropped his hands.

Mrs. Nanase was crying. “I love you so much, Haruka. I just want you to know your limits so you don’t get hurt.” She nodded at Rin who stood up awkwardly to relay the message.

Haru signed something back. Rin looked like Haru’s words slapped him across the face.

“He-“ Rin swallowed roughly, “He says he…” Rin choked, trying unsuccessfully to hold back his tears, “He says he wishes you had traded kids with my dad. Then… Then you’d both be happier.”

Rin staggered back to the bed, knees giving out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys... I'll make it up to you. <3


	10. Chapter 10

Makoto stared at the mess in front of him. He felt intrusive, sitting there on his own bed in his own room. Tension hung in the air making it feel like stagnant water. Rin sat next to him, a glazed look in his eyes as tears silently streaked his face.

Mrs. Nanase also sat in silence, staring at her son as if she had never seen him before.

Makoto didn’t dare move.

“Haruka…” Mrs. Nanase finally spoke in hushed tones, but her words seemed to pierce Makoto’s eardrums, and he wondered if he might also go deaf from listening to her.

“I’m leaving.” Rin stood, walking shakily out the door.

Makoto paled when Mrs. Nanase looked at him, “Tachibana-san, I’m sorry you had to see that.” She wiped her eyes quickly, trying to look put-together. “My son can get a little dramatic at times. I’m afraid it’s because of his resentment for his disability. I’m sure you understand. Wouldn’t you feel the same way in his shoes? He has trouble accepting the things he’s incapable of. Sometimes it’s tough to have to be his voice of reason, but you may have already experienced that.” She typed something on Haru’s computer. “Please make sure he reads that. His father and I will be here to pick him up tomorrow.”

Makoto just nodded as she left, unable to speak. She closed the door behind her too gently. Makoto wished she’d slam it so hard Haru could feel it. As it was, even Makoto wouldn’t have heard if he hadn’t been listening. Slowly, he stood and walked to Haru.

Haru jumped at the feeling of Makoto’s hand on his back.

“It’s Makoto.” Makoto reassured him. “She left.”

Haru nodded. “Where’s Rin?”

“Gone. Just us.”

“Oh.” Haru held Makoto’s hands tightly, “I’m sorry.”

“Tell Rin.” Makoto glanced at the door.

“Won’t help. Did she… My mom… Say something?” Haru’s eyes were shut tight.

“Yeah. Computer.”

Haru nodded, walking over to read what she had written. Makoto heard him choke.

“What’s wrong?” He grabbed Haru’s hands, concerned.

“Read it.” Haru stepped away from the computer so Makoto could see.

_Haruka,_ the note read, _I can see you’re very upset. Your father and I believe that you aren’t quite ready to be on your own yet. There is a special program at your old school that accepts adults as residents, and we put down your name. Please pack your things as best you can, we will pick you up outside your residence hall tomorrow._

Makoto grabbed Haru’s hand. “I… I’m sorry.”

Haru screamed, loudly and in Japanese, “WHY?!”

That was the first word Makoto had heard him say. Haru’s voice cracked, obviously rarely put to use.

“I DON’T WANT TO GO!” His words were unclear, but understandable. He pulled his hair, voice shaking the walls.

Makoto covered his ears instinctively, “Haru!”

Someone knocked on the door, loudly and insistently.

“Sorry! Coming!” Makoto ran to open it.

Shigino Kisumi stood outside. “Makoto, what’s happening?”

“Haru’s mom just left, I’m sorry, he doesn’t know how loud he’s being.” Makoto sobbed as Haru screamed again. He felt so useless.

“Haru, are you okay?” Kisumi ran into the room, putting his hands on Haru’s shoulders.

Haru reached out to Kisumi’s shoulders as well, looking confused when he was a different size than Makoto. He squinted at Kisumi’s face, shoving his hands away. “Who the hell?!” He signed at Makoto.

“Shigino-san.” Makoto relayed.

Haru growled. “No!”

Kisumi looked hurt, but stepped back. “Is there anything I can do?”

Makoto nodded, “I left my swimsuit in dryer seven. Can you get it for me?”

Kisumi looked a little surprised, but ran off, “Sure.”

Makoto tried to take Haru’s hand, but he pulled away. Makoto grabbed him again, spelling his name quickly into Haru’s struggling palm. Haru calmed down instantly.

“I’m not ready to go!” He signed, finally breaking down and crying.

“I know.”

“I can do this. I’m good at this.” Haru sobbed, hands shaking.

“She’s wrong.”

Haru nodded, and wrapped his arms around Makoto, still shaking. They stood like that until Kisumi came back.

“Got it.”

“Thanks, Kisumi. Sorry to have bothered you.” Makoto took the swimsuit, one arm still around Haru.

“Ah, no problem. I don’t want Haru to be upset.”

“Yeah. We’re gonna go now. I’ll see you around.”

Kisumi nodded, “’Course. Later, Makoto. Haru.” He closed the door behind him.

“Haru.” Makoto tapped his shoulder. Haru held out his hands. “Want to go swimming?”

Haru wiped his eyes, “Yeah.”

Quietly, they walked to the pool. It was evening, and the light was starting to dim. The campus was quiet and cool.

The pool room echoed, and light music played in the background. It was empty once again. Less and less people wanted to swim now that it had gotten colder, even though the indoor pool was open year-round.

Makoto changed into his swimsuit quickly as Haru dived in the water. As soon as Makoto jumped in the pool, Haru swam up to him.

“I like it here.”

“I know.”

Haru nodded and swam away again. Makoto swore he could see him grow fins as he swam.

Several minutes passed in silence before Makoto stood up in the water, noticing something. The first few notes of a song played. He smiled, that same song from before. How strange he heard it twice in such short succession. Maybe he was just noticing it more, since for whatever reason, it reminded him of Haru. He listened to the intro play, light piano music that reminded him of Christmas lights twinkling.

“What’s wrong?” Haru noticed him stop swimming, and came over to check on him.

“An old song I knew as a kid.” Makoto didn’t know how to add, _it reminds me of you._ Maybe he wouldn’t say that even if he could.

Haru nodded, standing still as if he might hear it too. “Do you know it still?”

“Yeah.” Makoto nodded.

“Can you sing it?” Haru gazed up at him earnestly.

He could. Makoto had learned it the day he discovered interpreted music. Although, he couldn’t do anything remotely like the real music interpreters could. “I think so.” He settled on.

Haru held out his hands, and Makoto took a step closer. Just a few more beats and the lyrics would start. He took Haru’s hands.

_‘Over the water, there’s one distant shore_

_Someday we’ll go there, someday I’m sure._

_And I hope hand-in-hand_

_We can touch the fresh sand_

_Of that wise foreign land_

_Because my hands were made for yours.’_

He finished the last line with shaking hands.

Haru’s eyes were closed. He sighed.

“Was that right?” Makoto asked nervously.

Haru repeated the last line, looking down at his own hands, “My hands were made for yours.”

Makoto blushed. “It’s not the best song but-“

Haru grabbed Makoto’s hands, shutting him up. “Stop.”

“What’s wrong?”

Haru shook his head, “I’m glad you’re my roommate.”

Makoto felt his heart shudder to a stop. “I… Me too.”

Haru took a step closer, reaching up to push Makoto’s hair out of his face. Water dripped down into Makoto’s eyes, so he blinked them closed. Before he had a chance to open them again, he felt something change. In shock, he realized Haru was kissing him. Before he recovered enough to do anything about it, Haru pulled back. Both of their eyes were still closed.

Makoto felt Haru sign something into his hands, “Thanks. For everything.”

A hand seemed to flatten Makoto’s lungs, he couldn’t breathe.

Haru didn’t wait for a reply, he dove back into the water and swam away.

Eyes still closed, Makoto felt him go.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Makoto stood there in shock for a long while, doubting everything. In a moment, he was hit by the sudden crushing realization that Haru was _human_. It shouldn’t have come as such a shock, but it did. Even with his intimate language, he always seemed so distant. With an overwhelming surge of empathy, Makoto’s hands started tingling. Every word he had ever used them to speak suddenly felt so real. Maybe before, he had only seen those words as some secret code, sayings he could throw around without real meaning or consequence. Maybe he had forgotten to look at how those words had affected Haru. Those were _Haru’s_ words, not Makoto’s, so maybe Makoto couldn’t quite feel the same significance. Next came a crippling wave of guilt. Had he _used_ Haru? Was the reason Makoto felt this attraction just some sort egotistical, pseudo-charitable novelty? Makoto’s eyes prickled with tears. What if everything he thought he felt was a _lie?_

_Stop it,_ he reprimanded himself. _You’ve never been that kind of person._

But maybe he was. Maybe the reason he liked Haru was that he liked the way he felt taking care of him. That made him no better than Haru’s mother. She was genuine, but did the wrong thing. Maybe he was disingenuous and right.

Why did he like taking care of Ran and Ren? Was it because he wanted them to be happy, or was it because he himself liked to be the ‘good big brother?’ Makoto wasn’t sure anymore.

_It doesn’t matter why you like Haru. It only matters that you do and both of you are happy. But isn’t that a betrayal of Haru’s trust?_ Another part of his brain questioned.

_Who cares?_ He responded, _he’ll be gone tomorrow anyway._

Makoto felt like crying.

Later, in the dorms, Makoto sat with his knees pulled up on his bed, sketchbook for art class in his hand. He was watching Haru and Fish-the-Cat play with a piece of string Haru had stolen from the art room. Fish was mewling in annoyance, gazing up at Haru for support, as if he might help her catch the elusive bit of string. She rubbed her cheek against Haru’s leg, and he picked her up and held her close to his face. She touched their noses together.

Sighing, Makoto tried to go back to his drawing, which got more and more frustrating with each line he etched. Haru had yet to pack up his things, but Makoto figured it shouldn’t take too long. Haru kept his things in immaculate order, otherwise he might be unable to find them later. Makoto had learned this the hard way when he moved a textbook from Haru’s desk to his shelf, and there had followed a moment of minor panic when Haru thought he just couldn’t remember where he put it.

Makoto’s eyes welled with tears again. Tomorrow would be the end of his ability to make memories like that. When Haru left, he would be alone, or at least, he would have lost the best friend he had made at the school. _Maybe the best friend I’ve made my whole life._ Earlier guilt forgotten, Makoto wiped his eyes quickly, and joined Haru on his bed.

“Hey.” Haru commented.

“Hey. I just…” Makoto tried to start, but felt the word catch in his- well, not his throat. On his fingertips maybe?

“I scared you.” Haru nodded.

Makoto’s eyes widened. That hadn’t been what he’d wanted to say but… It was definitely what he’d been thinking. “Not really,” he lied.

“Oh.” Haru moved Fish to the floor, dropping the piece of string for her. “Well… I like you, so I felt like it. That’s why.”

Makoto’s stomach twisted, “Okay.”

Haru looked down, “Tomorrow I’m leaving. I can’t… College, you know… I can’t pay alone. I need my mom.”

Makoto frowned, hoping he had understood properly, “I’ll miss you.”

Haru either signed ‘good’ or ‘thank you.’ Either one was plausible for him. Then, “Me too.”

Makoto frowned, thinking hard about the phrasing, “Your school… It’s not… what kind of school is it?”

Haru’s expression darkened. “Oralist school.” Makoto remembered Rin using the sign, but Haru fingerspelled it anyway.

“Oh… You don’t like it?” Of course not. Makoto already knew the answer.

“I don’t mind.”

Really? Makoto was confused. “Why?”

Haru shrugged, “There are lots of Deaf students. When the teachers look away, we still sign.” Haru shrugged again, more half-heartedly. “Maybe different now, last time I could see. The problem…” He broke off, thinking about his answer, “the problem is… Here, the interpreters touch me but…” He sighed, “I don’t know.”

Makoto wanted to understand. “It’s different?” He asked.

Haru nodded, “Here… they make me understand. There, I make them understand.”

Makoto thought about it. That must be different, being the one trying to pull the world towards you, rather than having it offered. That was something Makoto had never experienced, the effort and isolation of grabbing onto everything that you could, hoping someone would listen. “I hope… in the future…”

“What future?” Haru spat, expression snapping from hopeless to furious in a second. He grabbed his keyboard and typed the rest, suddenly needing to say much more. “I’m going to a halfway house. They’re going to set me up in a dorm with some small ‘d’ deaf roommate who won’t know how or even want to talk to me. I’m going to _wait_ there for _years_ and nothing’s going to change! I wish that I had never come here!” He slammed his fist against the desk loudly as Makoto read over his shoulder, “They let me taste this freedom, and now they’re taking it away! It would have been better to live without hope. Hope is _toxic,_ and I was an idiot to think there was any for me.” His shoulders were shaking.

Carefully, Makoto approached, letting Haru know that he was going to respond. “Haru, you-” He wasn’t sure what he was going to say, and Haru reading as he typed made him nervous. He took a deep breath. “You can’t go there. You can’t let them take you there.”

Haru shook his head, signing “What do I do?”

Makoto had no idea. He wanted more than anything to give Haru something to grab onto, so maybe he could pull himself out of this but… He had nothing. If his own parents stopped supporting him, he might have to drop out of school as well. Maybe he could get loans, but… Getting a job fresh out of college was difficult for someone who could both see and hear. How would it be for Haru?

So, Makoto couldn’t help. But what could he say? There had to be something in his limited vocabulary that would get across his sympathy and helplessness. It felt like every word Makoto had ever learned in any language was gone. His mouth was open, and his hands hung in the air pointlessly. There was nothing to say. There were no words, and to try would be unfair to the abstract concept that he couldn’t properly convey.

Makoto hugged him. That felt right. Maybe that was the right word to use, because it could mean so much, with such room for variety.

“You were thinking this is a common language for us, right?” Haru typed.

Makoto’s eyes widened as he typed back, “How did you know?”

Haru shrugged, “Deafblind are telepathic.”

Makoto almost felt worried for a second, before he noticed Haru’s slight smile. Grinning, he typed back, “Is that so?”

Haru nodded, “It’s my fourth sense.”

Makoto laughed, “That’s terrifying.”

“It’s only fair. You have five.”

“I suppose so.” The tension in the room dissolved into nothing, as if it had never even been there. “Most of us don’t know how to use them all, though.”

Haru pressed his lips together, looking like a wise old man, “I feel sorry for hearing people. So much input that they can’t focus. It’s an unfortunate disability.”

“I think you might be right.”

Haru leaned over to rest on Makoto’s shoulder as they sat. Things were going to be okay. That creeping feeling of discomfort was held at bay for the moment as Makoto and Haru fell over onto the pillows, waiting. Makoto noticed the seconds tick by on the cat-face wall clock he had brought from home. He concentrated on making each second last as long as it possibly could. He tapped each second into the palm of Haru’s hand, the lazy, consistent rhythm making his eyes droop. Haru’s too, Makoto observed, as the blue irises went from their normal half-visibility to nothing. Makoto felt Haru’s breathing slow, and before he knew it, they had both fallen asleep, curled up on Haru’s bed, counting the seconds as they passed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, semi-sweet ending this time. I'm not going to leave you hanging for another couple of days like last time.
> 
> Oh, if any of you were wondering- capitol D Deaf stands for the Deaf community. Little d deaf is the physical inability to hear. You can be one or the other or both. :)
> 
> See you guys again soon!


	12. Chapter 12

Haru woke to a familiar buzzing under his head. Ugh. His alarm clock was shaking him awake again. It happened every morning, but Haru found he still had it in him to be both surprised and annoyed. Yawning, he reached over to shut off the alarm, stopping briefly in shock when he noticed someone else with him. _Oh, right._ He thought, _Makoto’s here._ Haru shut off the alarm and lied back down. He’d completely forgotten falling asleep last night. Shrugging it off, Haru tossed his arm over the still-sleeping Makoto, trying to breathe in rhythm with the rise and fall of Makoto’s chest. Maybe he was just distracting himself from what he knew was coming.

In a moment, Makoto’s breathing hitched, and sped up slightly. He was awake. A hand appeared on Haru’s cheek, the bed moved, and soft breath gusted around his chin. Makoto’s lips met his.

Haru felt his cheeks get warm as Makoto took his hands, “Good morning.”

So he wasn’t scared? Haru’s stomach fluttered in a way he hadn’t experienced before.

Haru’s side of the bed got lower when Makoto stood, and two soft footsteps fell on the floor before Haru couldn’t feel them shake anymore.

Haru frowned, _why did he just walk away? Where’s he going?_

Sitting up, Haru reached under his bed for the white cane he folded up under there every night. Clicking it out to full length, Haru reached out for Makoto’s bed, humming in annoyance when he discovered Makoto wasn’t there.

He poked out at Makoto’s desk chair, smiling slightly when he made contact with a body that jumped.

Two less soft steps coming near him, and Makoto took his hands. “What?”

“Where did you go?”

“Computer.”

“Why?”

“Homework.”

“Take a break.”

“Why?"

Haru thought about it. “Breakfast,” he decided.

Makoto’s hands were still for a moment. “Okay.”

Quickly changing into day-clothes, Haru grabbed Makoto’s elbow and allowed himself to be led out of the room to the cafeteria.

As soon as Haru smelled the ever-present smell of french fries, he tapped Makoto’s shoulder. Makoto tapped him back. “Sit with Rin.”

Another long pause from Makoto. “Okay.”

Haru had a braille-print menu at the cafeteria bar. He searched over it to find what he wanted, and pointed it out to the person who worked there. Haru just hoped that whoever it was understood, because a second later, the menu was pulled abruptly from his hands, and no other communication was made.

Haru sat at the table Makoto brought him to, trying to figure out what part of his plate the different foods were on. Even from two feet away it just looked like a dark blue blur. The lights in the cafeteria weren’t bright enough yet for Haru to have much useful vision, thanks to the new ‘going-green’ initiative the student body president had decided upon. Rin told him it was a good project. Haru found it annoying.

“Hey.” A slightly cold set of hand’s found Haru’s. “It’s Rin.”

Oh. A knot twisted in Haru’s stomach. He suddenly changed his mind about wanting to talk to Rin. He shut his eyes tight, hoping Rin would just go away.

“ _I_ can see _you_ , idiot.” Rin spoke again.

_Dammit._ Haru sighed, “I know.”

“I’m not mad at you.”

_Lying._

“Are you okay?”

Haru shrugged. “I’m leaving today.”

Rin paused, “Say that again?”

“I’m leaving today.”

“Where?” Rin’s movements were jerky. He felt distressed.

“Meadowgrove,” Haru spelled. The name of the oralist school.

“You’re kidding.” Rin’s leg bumped Haru’s. He must have scooted his chair closer.

“No I’m not.”

“They take adults?”

“Apparently.”

Rin hit Haru’s legs hard, it kind of stung. “That place is terrible! You can’t do _anything?”_

Haru shrugged.

“My dad hated it there. He was so pissed when your mom sent you the first time.”

This was news to Haru. “He went?”

“Yeah.” Rin tapped Haru lightly, “For seven years. He left when he was fifteen and met my mom at the Deaf school when he was sixteen.”

“Your mom’s hearing.” Haru pointed out.

“She was a _volunteer._ She assisted the coach on the swim team.” Rin said, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world. “Plus, she never voiced anyway ‘cause she had a really bad stutter. So she liked signing.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, well, you wouldn’t.” Rin’s knees bumped Haru’s as he changed positions in his chair.

“So that’s why your voice was weird?”

Rin smacked him on the side of the knee, “You have no proof of that. You’ve never heard me, asshat. Neither of my parents were the best voice models. So what?”

Haru shrugged.

_“Point is,”_ Rin continued, “Why the hell is she sending you back to Meadowgrove?”

“Don’t know.” Haru didn’t want to think about it. He was hoping that if he ignored the situation for long enough, it might go away.

Rin didn’t say anything for a long time. Haru wondered if maybe he was talking to someone else. Makoto maybe. Finally, he spoke again. “I’m gonna miss you.” His hands shook.

Haru didn’t want to hear that. He wanted to hear, “I’ll make it better,” or, “We wont let this happen.” Rin never gave up, what was wrong with him?

But Haru didn’t say anything. He just nodded. A hand that wasn’t Rin’s landed on his back. Must have been Makoto. 

Why were they just sitting there? That’s not how things were supposed to happen. Things were supposed to be okay, because he’d been through so much and this was the end, right? This school was supposed to be the happy ending. He even got to fall in love. Why was everything changing now?

They ate in stillness. Makoto walked with Haru back up to their room to pack, not saying a word. Haru was glad he didn’t. There was nothing left to say but goodbye, and it was far too soon for that.

Haru packed up about half his stuff before he stopped. He didn’t want to finish. He grabbed Makoto as he stood putting binders in a box. “Just wait,” he said, taking Makoto’s hands. “Not yet.”

“Okay.” Makoto answered, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” Haru sighed, “She’ll be here soon.”

“Any minute.” Makoto agreed.

“So… I won't see you again.” Haru bit his lip, “Right?”

Makoto didn’t answer for a long time. “Right.” There was another long pause before- “Haru… What’s your major?”

Haru almost smiled. Oh, yeah. That’s what started all this. “Marine biology.”

Makoto squeezed his hands. “Perfect.”

Haru felt Makoto’s hands tense. Then, Makoto flattened Haru’s right hand, making a fist with his own and knocking on it three times.

Oh.

She was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, see you soon again, I hope! I'm in DC visiting Gallaudet University (The only American university for the Deaf! :D ) So the next update may be a little slow. Hang with me, I definitely have not abandoned this work!
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter, I wanted to show the difference between Makoto's and Rin's conversational abilities with Haru. 
> 
> Plus, Haru gets to have a little moment of self awareness about his feelings for Makoto! Success! :)


	13. Chapter 13

Makoto’s hands shook severely as he watched Haru make his way over to the door. From behind it, Mrs. Nanase appeared. Behind her, an upset looking man- presumably Mr. Nanase. Behind _him_ however, was a ghostly pale Rin, staring at the floor with his hands twitching tightly at his sides as he tried to maintain a respectful posture.

“Haruka,” Mr. Nanase looked past his wife at his son. He stepped beyond her into the room and took Haru’s hands. Makoto watched with wide eyes as he signed ‘dad.’

Haru’s shoulders relaxed a bit, and he waved at his dad, then signed, “What’s happening now?”

His father looked behind himself at Rin, “Matsuoka-kun, can you tell him what I’m saying, please?”

Rin nodded, avoiding eye contact with either of them as he walked over to Haru, and spelled his name.

Mr. Nanase thanked him and continued talking to Haru, “I know you don’t want to go, but… Meadowgrove will be good for you. It’s not that far away from home, and you’ll still be independent. You can work on your Japanese, I know you have it in you. Remember I read you the story of Helen Keller? She was deaf and blind like you, and she learned to speak English. She grew up to be an amazing writer too. I know you can do the same. What do you say?”

Rin finished relaying the information to Haru, who stood there still for a long moment. “Helen Keller _wanted_ to speak English. I don’t need Japanese.” Rin voiced for him, “Even if I can, I don’t want it.” Haru looked like he was picking his words carefully, “It will _not_ help me live in the Hearing world because I can’t see; and it will not help me live in the Seeing world because I can’t hear. I know and understand Japanese. Speaking is unnecessary. And... If I am living at Meadowgrove, I may be independent, but I will not be free.”

Rin turned to face Mrs. Nanase, his eyes brimming. When he spoke his voice was a whisper- “Please, Ma’am. He’s happy here.”

Mrs. Nanase huffed, dabbing at her own eyes. “It’s like you all think I’m heartless. I know what’s best for my own son. Maybe in the future the world will be kinder to the deaf and the blind, but for now it’s simply not. If I could change a thing, I’d do anything I could. I just don’t want my son to be limited. I know you don’t understand, Rin-san, but maybe once you see for yourself what this place can _do_ for Haruka, I’m sure you wouldn’t deny him this.”

Rin shook his head, looking at Makoto in defeat, “She won’t listen.” He croaked.

“Tachibana-san? I’m sure you’ve made arrangements with a residence advisor. I’m so sorry for inconveniencing you.” Mrs. Nanase gave Makoto a watery smile.

“N-not at…” Makoto began impulsively. “I- I-... Please… Mrs. Nanase…” He wasn’t sure what to say. His overwhelming instinct was to beg, to offer something- anything- in exchange for her son.

_Leave him alone, this is best for him._ One part of Makoto’s brain screamed. _Obviously his mother knows something you don’t. You barely know him, and she’s an adult._

_Have I ever seen Haru cry?_ Another part of his brain wondered, _what would that be like? I can’t imagine it. Don’t let it happen._

_You’re being selfish._

_I’m being a friend!_

_You’re just happy someone’s finally willing to put up with you after all these years, and the only reason why is that he can’t understand you enough to know that you’re an emotionally manipulative, overly sensitive-_

“Please, Mrs. Nanase!” Makoto cried, more to shut up his own brain than anything. “I’ll do everything I can to make sure Haruka succeeds at everything he does! I’ll- I’ll-... Please do this for me!”

_-child._

Mrs. Nanase made a choking sound, “I am not some villain! I know this is upsetting for you, losing a friend, but please think about what’s best for Haruka. This is not a discussion. He’s moving to Meadowgrove. Today. If you’d like a moment to say goodbye, I will of course give you your space. But the decision is made. Haruka is my son, my dependent, and I love him too much to watch him suffer.”

_Failure. You can’t even do the wrong thing right._

Makoto felt Rin’s hand on his back, “That’s it, Makoto. That’s enough.”

Mr. Nanase stepped forward, taking Haru’s hands, “We’ll be back soon. Say goodbye.”

Haru nodded stoically. Mr. and Mrs. Nanase left the room.

“Haru.” Rin wrapped him in a hug, tears finally pouring down his cheeks, “I’m so sorry this is happening.” He broke away shakily, still holding onto Haru’s shoulders until the last second.

Haru walked over to Makoto, taking his hands. “You’ll write to me.”

“Yeah.” Makoto nodded quickly, and tried to clear the lump in his throat.

“I won’t see you for a long time. Maybe ever.” Haru’s eyes were cast down.

“Yeah.” Makoto couldn’t find it in himself to look higher than Haru’s hands either.

“Okay. Goodbye.” Haru’s eyes fell lower as he hid his face.

Makoto couldn’t say it. He couldn’t even sign it. Surely there was still time before this. Another hour, another minute, another _second?_ Surely he didn’t have to say it _right now?_

“Say it back, Makoto,” Rin commanded. “You’ll regret it if you don’t.”

Makoto nodded, making extra sure Haru was listening. “Goodbye.”

Haru nodded, “You know I love you, right?”

Makoto froze.

“Oh my fucking god. I hate you both.” Rin huffed, throwing himself dramatically on Makoto’s bed with a loud creak. “Can’t even get a moment of peace around you two without being bombarded by shoujo trash drama.”

Makoto shook Rin’s comment off.

_Haru’s just never met many people. He’ll forget about you at Meadowgrove. He likes you because you can talk to him. His world is small, but it’s about to get larger. He’ll meet someone better. Someone Deaf. Someone who understands him. Don’t cry._

Haru tapped Makoto’s elbow questioningly.

If there was a sign language equivalent of stuttering, Makoto managed to do it. “I-I… I love you t-too.”

_But you can’t for long. Don’t worry. Feel this now, but know it has to end. You’re an adult now. Nothing ends romantically. Just be happy in the moment, okay? Don’t cry._

“Okay,” Haru nodded. “Good.” He turned away, and went to open the door. “Mom, Dad. I’m ready.”

Makoto watched dully as Mr. and Mrs. Nanase finished packing the last of Haru’s belongings into neat little boxes as the three boys sat side by side on Makoto’s bed. The part of Makoto that had been raised to be polite was calling for him to stand and help, but for whatever reason, he found himself either unable or unwilling to lend a hand. Slowly, the boxes were loaded onto a dolly from the Nanase’s car and pushed away. In no time at all, their dorm became just ‘Makoto’s room.’ It seemed too empty, and Makoto swore he could hear his own breath echo.

“Thank you for your understanding, son.” Mr. Nanase patted Makoto’s back, “I can tell Haruka really appreciates your friendship.”

Makoto nodded, not quite trusting himself to speak.

Haru’s dad then lead his son out of the room. Rin and Makoto walked with them to their car.

Makoto wished there was something left for him to say, but there wasn’t. They’d said goodbye, and Haru was in enough trouble already. His feelings didn’t need to be known.

Haru gripped the handle of the back seat car door when Rin stopped him, “Hey, Haru.”

Haru turned around.

“Deaf power.”

“Yeah.”

Without another word, the Nanase family loaded up and drove away. Makoto watched them go, his heart sinking with every turn of the wheels. He watched until they turned the corner, and he couldn’t see them anymore.

So it was over. Up until that moment, Makoto had felt like something would change, that maybe there was something he could still do. But it was over. Makoto didn’t even feel sad, he just felt done. The facts lined up perfectly well in his head, the whole sequence of events was perfectly clear. It was over and it would stay over, because that’s just life, isn’t it? It’s not romantic. Nothing is romantic. To delude himself otherwise would be… masochism.

Might as well move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry.


	14. Chapter 14

The next few days were spent explaining what had happened to everyone. It was almost harder than actually having to tell Haru goodbye. Makoto sat in the coffee shop, trying not to mope.

“You’re moping,” Rin commented, plopping himself down in the seat across from Makoto. “Stop it.”

“Sorry...” Makoto buried his face in his arms on the table. “I don’t mean to.”

“Have you written to him yet? He should have settled into his dorm by now.” Rin accepted a cup of coffee from Nagisa who sat down with them, ignoring the waiting customers and his overwhelmed coworkers.

“He should have only checked in thirty minutes ago. He can’t be unpacked yet.” Makoto sighed, staring down into his half-empty mug.

“I can guarantee he checked his computer the minute he figured out where it was.” Rin smirked.

“Yeah, I text _my_ boyfriend every morning and in between every class. You need to stay connected, Mako-chan!” Nagisa said as he typed something into his phone.

“You don’t need to text him that much,” a previously unnoticed Rei commented, opening a new text from Nagisa.

Nagisa looked hurt, “But Rei-chan, don’t you like me?”

Rei blushed, “That’s not the point…”

“Idiots aside,” Rin interrupted firmly, “I wouldn’t worry about Haru too much. He’ll figure something out.” Rin tried to smile, but it slipped quickly.

Makoto nodded, trying to smile back. “I wont. I’m sure he’ll be happy wherever he is.”

The four sat in an awkward silence for a moment.

Nagisa broke it, “Hey, you know what would be fun?” He waited for someone to respond.

Rin gave in, “What? I’m not entirely sure I trust you, but what?”

“Let’s put together a care package for Haru-chan! We can all add something meaningful, and I’m sure he’ll be really happy when he opens it!” He beamed around at the depressed looking circle, disappointed when nobody would match his energy.

Rin shrugged, “You know, that’s not a bad idea. Classes and life in general has been stressful, let’s do something to relax.”

Not much conversation later, they all ended up in Makoto’s room, since it had the most open space. Nagisa pulled up some mindless drama on Makoto’s computer, and the sounds of star-crossed romance and string music filled the room.

Rei, for whatever reason, happened to have quite a few craft supplies, so the floor wound up scattered with construction paper; tubes of glitter-glue; colorful feathers; and fat, kindergarten markers.

“This is ridiculous that you own this.” Rin said seriously, staring blankly at Rei, “I hope you know that. These are the possessions of a crazy person or a five-year-old.”

Rei looked away, embarrassed, “There’s nothing wrong with liking crafts.”

“Maybe not, but there’s something _very_ wrong with having this many sparkly purple feathers.” Rin held one up to the light, “Where do you even _find_ these?”

“Rin-chan, you’re being mean!” Nagisa protested, wrapping his arms tightly around Rei, “Not everyone has to be normal or like normal stuff.”

Rei blushed, “That’s really not helping.”

Rin snorted and watched the feather float to the ground, “That’s okay, I won’t complain. This means we can write stuff in Braille with glitter glue. Remember that whatever we make has to be able to be felt- like these weird-ass feathers.”

“I learned my name in Braille!” Nagisa proclaimed proudly, “I also learned it mirrored so I can punch it into the back of a piece of paper with a pencil point.”

“Teachers don’t like that.” Rin warned.

Nagisa’s expression slipped from overjoyed to dejected in a comical heartbeat, “No, they don’t.”

Makoto nodded, thinking deeply. Was there really anything he had left to say? “Hi, Haru, how’s your day? I’m fine. Fish is fine. Hope speaking Japanese hasn’t yet crushed your soul to pieces! <3 -Mako” No. There wasn’t anything he knew how to say. After a good five minutes of deliberation, and a few more of studying a printed out Braille sheet Rin brought, Makoto sat glitter-glue in hand, ready to write his message. “Haru, I’m sorry, Good luck.”

He shook his head. It seemed too simple, but it was really all he could do. Ah well, it was good to start letting go. He’d seen too many college romance dramas, it was silly to delude himself into thinking that what he had with Haru could last anyway.

“Such a bummer, Tachibana!” Rin whined, reading over Makoto’s gluey message for mistakes. “Add some spice to this first ever letter, huh?”

Nagisa laughed, “Darlingest Haru-chan! I count the days- nay, the hours since our last embrace!”

“Pft.” Rin smirked, “What the hell was that?”

“Shakespeare!” Nagisa bounced.

“It most certainly was not.” Rei shook his head in mock disappointment.

“Well, you do better, Rei-chan.” Nagisa pouted.

Rei cleared his throat dramatically, looking down and away like a romance drama leading lady. “My heart beats with the sorrow of farewell, and through these muffled tears my eyes do swell.”

Rin laughed, adding- “So I’m writing in glue, a sparkly message for you,”

“That for sure won’t rhyme right in JSL!” Nagisa concluded proudly.

Rei looked horrified, “You made it a limerick!”

“But it was amazing!” Nagisa beamed.

Rei grumbled down at the paper, “Mine was iambic pentameter.”

“Aww, Rei-chan.” Nagisa hugged him, “Nobody knows what that means.”

Makoto watched the scene unfold before him, unable to prevent himself from grinning. Rin’s hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, one or two purple feathers sticking out the top. Nagisa was still wrapped around Rei, who somehow managed to look both uncomfortable and adoring at the same time. Fish was pawing curiously at a couple of pom-poms on the floor, and the drama on the computer in the background mixed with the chatter and laughter of his friends sounded to Makoto like a family reunion. Maybe nothing in particular drew these people together, but they all somehow seemed to fit. Makoto wasn’t sure if he believed in ‘meant to be,’ but if he did, this would be the perfect example. Even with the rather obvious omission from their group, this was family. They’d come down again okay. Makoto’s smile stretched wider with a sudden burst of confidence that he would see Haru again. They would all meet again, they had to. With a family like this, how could they stay apart for too long?

Makoto added to his message, copying carefully from the Braille sheet- “Rei, Rin, and Nagisa wrote a poem for you. Because I care, I left it out. See you soon. -Makoto”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I did happy! Look, I can do happy! Yay! :'D
> 
> Also, don't worry, I won't "No. 6" you and end the story at the promise of reunion. There's more to come!
> 
> P.S., I have a Tumblr, so... come say hi? 
> 
> http://cassadyflies.tumblr.com/


	15. Chapter 15

The room was cold. That was the first thing Haru noticed about his new dormitory. The room he had shared with Makoto was warm, and there was softer light. The light in this room made what vision Haru had left seem blurry and harsh. His new bed was softer than the last one, however. The box that held his linens and pillow was already on his bed where his parents had put it.

_My computer…_ Haru wondered, jabbing his cane around the room hoping to come into contact with something metal and desk-level. Instead, his motions was impeded by a soft, firm surface. A hand grabbed the end of his cane and pulled it away. Haru almost protested, but the same hands grabbed his to stop him.

“Calm down,” the hands said. “What are you looking for?”

Haru felt like crying. _My roommate can talk to me..._ “Where’s my computer?” He asked frantically.

“About three feet from the top corner of your bed on the desk.” The hands explained clearly and thoroughly.

Haru nodded, following the instructions. _Yes._ There it was, exactly as the hands had said. But… “My keyboard isn’t connected.” He signed in the general vicinity of his roommate.

“Deal with it later. We have orientation. Oh…” He broke off, “They have someone to help you with that, right? I don’t really know how this works. Did you go to school here? I don’t know you.”

Haru frowned at the sudden onslaught of information and questions. He picked his favorite and answered that one, “Nanase Haruka. Actually, just Haru. I went here for a while when I was little.”

The hands tapped his shoulder in understanding. “I see. Well, I’ve been here a long time, I can show you around. I’ve lived here practically my whole life. Don’t worry, there’s lots of people who still use sign, that’s how I learned. This place isn’t bad, I know a lot of people don’t like it at first. Oh, I’m Seijuro by the way. Hey, forgive my asking but… How the hell do they expect you to talk?”

Haru opened his eyes for the first time that day, “I can talk. I _can,_ I don’t like it.”

“Can you see at all even?” Seijuro took a step closer, Haru could see the shape of his nose.

“Yes. Move.”

Seijuro backed up a bit, “Oh, sorry. Just… Never met a deaf _and_ blind guy before. I hear there’s lots at the signing schools, but… Not really here.”

“Last time I was here, I could see.” Haru informed him, closing his eyes again.

“You close your eyes, though. Doesn’t it help to keep them open? I mean if you can see a little?” Seijuro questioned further.

Haru felt a little overwhelmed, “Not really. It’s just effort. Also the lighting in this room is terrible. It hurts.”

“Oh, I see. Alright, then, nice to know. Guess I’ll have to let you know when the alarms are going off, huh? Since they’re all flashing lights. Must be weird, not seeing that. I’m just so used to it. My little brother’s in the high school program here, you should meet him. All the teachers love him ‘cause he ‘laughs like he’s hearing.’ No idea what that’s supposed to mean, but it gives him a leg up when it comes to performance reviews. Hey, we gotta go to orientation. Do you like swimming? There’s a pool. Just got it in last year.”

This was the most Haru had ever had spoken at him at once. He wasn’t sure how to respond to most of it, but he tried his best. “Yes.”

“Huh?”

“I like swimming.”

“Good! So do I! I’ll show you later, but let’s get going now, okay? Don’t wanna miss the explanations of how the _lunch lines_ work. Like they think we can’t grasp such a simple concept.”

Without another word, Haru found himself being dragged out of the room. The hallway was carpeted, and Haru didn’t much care for the way his feet slid across that surface.

In the room where the orientation was held, Haru found himself passed off to an interpreter. Her fingernails said she was female, but her step was heavy. She sat down in a chair across from Haru, and squirted hand sanitizer on his hands before placing them on her cheeks. She was a thin woman, and her lips were painted a deep red that contrasted harshly with her skin. She wore a green shirt that was supposed to make her hands stand out. She sat only a few inches away from Haru’s face, trying to make sure he could understand as much as possible.

“Nanaseharukaisntit?” It… was a question probably. She was asking his name?

Haru nodded.

“Imyourinterpreteramakatamiho.” ...What?

“Sorry…” Haru didn’t catch that.

She nodded, speaking slower, “ImYourInterpreterAmakataMiho.”

Oh. Haru nodded.

“YouvebeentoThisSchoolbefore,SoyouKnowhowtheclasseswork.”

Haru nodded.

“AsAnAdult,” She continued, “Youwillcontinueinyourattqwefbhk…”

Haru’s eyes widened.

“InTheHopeThatonedayExpressiveSpeechWillBeAccessableToYou.” Haru felt her smile.

Haru nodded slowly.

The orientation continued in such a manner, while Haru got gradually more frustrated with himself and with the interpreter. He found that the more upset he got, the less he understood. Eventually, he gave up trying to understand entirely, and just nodded when it felt right, or whenever there was a pause.

At one point, Miho stopped talking. Her head tilted to the side. “Haruka…” She paused, “Do you understand me?” She said this while moving her hands to match her speech. It was an old phonetic alphabet Haru had learned as a kid, one that was supposed to mimic mouth movement.

Haru looked away, not wanting to speak to give an answer.

She took his hands, signing brokenly to him, “To make you understand, what I can do I will.”

Some of Haru’s annoyance left him when she at least _tried_ to sign. Still refusing to use his voice, he answered back with the visible speech alphabet, “No, I don’t understand. This is dumb.”

Miho sat back in her chair. There was a pause before she leaned forward again, “You know,” she spoke with the phonetic alphabet, “Learning this will be good for you.”

“No it won’t.” Haru retorted, “Everyone I care about can sign.”

“Well, what if in the future you meet a lovely young girl, and you fall in love, but she can’t sign? Wouldn’t that be a shame? You would lose out on that.” She patted his knee lightly.

Haru frowned, “Anyone who loves me will learn.”

She nodded, “Maybe that’s true. But wouldn’t it be nice to say ‘I love you’ in her own language?”

“Why can’t it be said in mine?” Haru shut his eyes.

She continued with the phonetic alphabet, keeping Haru’s hands on her, “I know you’re upset now, but being able to speak will help you get a job in the future, it will help you function in the Hearing world, and it will help you form important connections with people both professionally and socially.”

Haru sighed, “That was rehearsed.”

“A lot of people are apprehensive at first.” She countered.

So. She’s had this talk before, and she’d been argued with before. There was no changing anyone’s mind. Haru sulked. Then, there was nothing he could do. He nodded, opened his eyes and let her continue the orientation speech.

Later, back in his dorm, Seijuro helped him set up his keyboard for his computer. No note from Makoto yet. Okay. It was early anyway, he hadn’t even had time to miss him yet. Haru shut down his computer and got into bed. Tomorrow began his first day of classes. Not _real_ classes where they taught you useful skills or math. Oralist lessons that he wasn’t sure he was even going to show up to. Well, yes he was. he was going to show up, because he had nowhere else to go. But that didn’t mean he was going to work hard at all. _It’s not like I’m getting graded on this stuff. I’m an adult and this isn’t a college._ He sighed, pulling the covers over his face, _I just want to sleep._

The next day of classes was boring. Haru didn’t pay any attention to the teachers or the interpreters. Rather, he drummed his fingers lightly against the table in complex patterns, gradually getting more complex until he made a mistake. It was a game he’d invented as a kid when his eyes started getting really bad. That way he could subtly ignore the teachers without the ability to distract himself by drawing, which is what he had done before.

“This is Haruka! He’s my new roommate. He can swim, you should see it! Hey, Haruka, this is my baby brother Momo, he can sign too. He’ll act tough, but don’t worry, he’s just a big softie in real life.” Seijuro did the introductions as Haru sat down at the lunch table.

“Haruka, welcome! Never used tactile before, it’s cool. Hey, do you think- oh, shit!” He broke off suddenly.

Haru sat in confusion, not sure what had happened to everybody.

“Ah, sorry, Nanase!” Seijuro explained, “Teacher came by. We’re not supposed to sign during lunch. Or at all, really, but they tend to look the other way in the halls.”

Haru nodded.

“Hey, what happened, anyway?” Momo came back. “How come you’re deaf _and_ blind?”

Haru shrugged.

“No, seriously though.” He persisted, “Oh, which came first? Were you born both? We were born deaf, both of us. I got 20/20 vision, though! Hey, you grow up with the Deaf community? Or maybe the Blind community? Or _both?_ Or is there like this special subset of Deaf _and_ Blind that all stick together?”

Haru felt a little dizzy from being talked at that much. “I...Um… was deaf first.”

“Yeah?” Momo and Seijuro encouraged together.

“How come you’re blind, then?” Momo (the smaller hands) added.

“Um… you know Usher syndrome?” Haru didn’t really know how or want to explain.

“Yeah, yeah! That’s where you start out seeing fine, but you get older and your vision goes all tunnel until you can’t see anymore.” Momo recited. “That usually happens when you’re older, though. Like, thirty. How old are you?”

“Not thirty. It happened when I was young. It can happen that way.” Haru couldn’t tell if he was being doubted or not.

“No, yeah, I believe you. That sucks. I would _hate_ if my vision went away. Maybe it’s better for you, since you grew up with it, but especially for a deafie _oralist,_ huh?” Momo patted Haru’s knee sympathetically.

Haru frowned, wanting to avoid conflict, but also not wanting to agree. “Deaf community first,” he said instead. Not quite relevant, but true since that’s where he grew up.

“Really, huh?” Momo mused. “So usually you’re the _deaf_ guy, but here you’re the _blind_ guy. That’s gotta be weird.”

Haru looked away. Yeah. It was. He didn’t _hate_ it, since it had been so for a long time, but it was still weird. Usually the biggest barrier in his life was speech, but now… He was used to defending Deafness as an identity rather than a disability- at least to himself in his own head- so this _was_ weird. Besides, most people here were treating deafness as a disability anyway. It made Haru feel a little queasy, but that’s how it was. He was here to be fixed, wasn’t he? He knew that going in, that’s why he didn’t want to come. It shouldn’t be so surprising. So why did it feel so _wrong?_

“Yeah. I’m… gonna go.” He didn’t have to stay if he didn’t want to. He was an adult now, after all. He didn’t owe anybody anything.

Haru stood up and left the lunchroom, walking slower by himself, but not really wanting to discuss things further. Eventually, he made it back to his room. The walls were colder than the ones in the hallway, and that felt good. Although… his throat felt weird. Probably all the talking he had to do. That would explain why… his throat shut tight as a sudden, unprecedented wave of emotion hit him.

_What do I do with this?_ He thought frantically. He wasn’t used to sudden flashes of feeling, that was Rin’s thing. Haru just got slowly dragged down further until he couldn’t breathe anymore. _What do I do?_ His hands shook.

He sat down at his computer and opened a new email.

_Makoto,_

_This program is terrible. The energy is depressing, and I don’t want to follow the instructions… Come visit next weekend? I want-_

He deleted everything. Taking a deep breath, he tried again.

_Makoto-_

_I arrived safely at my dorm in Meadowgrove. It’s busy here, but my roommate is okay. He’s loud. So is his brother. Last night, the music was so loud I felt it in the windows. The bass is really high so that we can all feel it, but some of the teachers might experience deaf gain. There’s a pool here. The water is colder than where you are. You and Rin touch here soon, okay?_

_-Haru_

Haru hit send and felt calmer. Makoto would respond, and he could email Rin tomorrow. Then he wouldn’t feel so alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couple of ASL idioms I threw in Haru's email so...
> 
> Deaf gain is like hearing loss but... happier?  
> Touch means to go somewhere. Like you've touched it before? He's asking Makoto and Rin to visit. <3
> 
> Anyway, this chapter was fun to write, so it's long. I like writing from Haru's POV, it challenges me to think outside of sight and sound. :)
> 
> Thanks for reading, you guys are the best! :D


	16. Chapter 16

 

 

Visit soon… That was Haru’s request. Was it even possible? Schoolwork was crashing back down on Makoto with overwhelming force. Slowly, a week slipped past and Makoto had forgotten to even respond. He felt incredibly guilty about it. Every time he looked at his computer, he thought about answering, and every time, he stopped himself. He didn’t know what to say. They were broken up, weren’t they? If they had ever even really been together. Each day that past made Makoto feel worse and worse as it simultaneously got harder to respond. It had been so long, would Haru even _remember_ sending that email? It had been a week. He got the care package certainly. Did that count as a response? Makoto wasn’t sure what was appropriate for someone who he still half-wanted to forget. Still, he _had_ said ‘see you soon...’

 

_My head hurts._

 

Makoto abandoned his computer again in favor of an overdue reading assignment. He would answer tonight, he promised himself. Maybe after dinner. Or tomorrow morning.

 

“Tachibana, open up.” Rin pounded on his door.

 

Sighing, Makoto dog-eared his book and opened the door to a pissed-off looking Rin.

 

“What the hell?” Rin demanded, inviting himself into Makoto’s room.

 

“What now?” Makoto didn’t even bother to keep the annoyance from his voice.

 

“Just got a message from Haru. A _text_ message. What the hell?” Rin shoved the phone under Makoto’s nose.

 

Taking a guarded step back, Makoto read a convoluted looking message, ‘Hate. Here d/Deaf maybe two. mind limit. w/e finish.” Makoto frowned, “What?”

 

“Yeah, exactly. I’m gonna message him back, has he said anything to you?” Rin threw himself down on Haru’s old bed, still staring at his phone screen.

 

Makoto shifted guiltily, “No… Rin, what does that mean though?”

 

Rin blinked, “Huh? Oh, he’s pissed off about his school for some reason. I thought he was doing okay, I emailed him yesterday, said he’d been swimming a lot… That’s probably good. Although he swims for some weird reasons sometimes.” Rin typed on his phone, “One time the store was out of his favorite juice and he had to go ‘join with the water,’ I think he said. I just bought him apple-peach and told him to deal with it. He was fifteen.” Rin hit send and closed his phone.

Makoto smiled, “You really look out for him, don’t you?”

 

Rin made a disgusted face, “Hell no, why would I do that? I don’t want him as my responsibility. Besides, he _can_ do shit on his own, it’s just that he _won’t._ If I left him alone he’d eventually go outside. Probably. I mean, the pool’s outside…” Rin shrugged, “ _You_ should look out for him. You two go be gross and married, I want nothing to do with it.”

 

Makoto tried not to laugh, “I thought you _liked_ romantic stuff?”

 

“Not for Haru.” Rin frowned, “That’s a weird idea. WEIRD idea.”

 

“He’s glad to have you, though.” Makoto sat down next to Rin.

 

“He’s the reason I’ll age prematurely.” Rin’s phone buzzed, and a light on it flashed.

 

“Haru?” Makoto asked nervously.

 

Rin hummed in agreement, opening the message. “I said he’d get used to the place eventually, and the program ends after only…” Rin’s voice got quiet, “Three years.”

 

Makoto read Haru’s response, “y”

 

“Why what?” Makoto asked.

 

Rin shook his head, “No idea. Wish I could CALL YOU, THOUGH.” He yelled at his phone, then shook his head again, “Alright, screw it. I’m going down there this weekend. You coming?”

 

Makoto took a minute to process, “What, me? To Meadowgrove?”

 

“No, to Washington ‘Deaf Central’ DC. Of course, idiot.” Rin stood up, “Three more days. I’ll let him know you’ll be there.”

 

Rin left, leaving Makoto alone on Haru’s bed. Makoto wasn’t sure he _wanted_ to go to Meadowgrove. It would be weird, wouldn’t it? But… maybe he’d feel better about not answering Haru.

 

The days passed slowly. All Makoto could think of was Haru. His classes were too long, and his homework seemed oppressive. But, in two more days, he’d visit Haru. One more day… Tomorrow morning…

 

Makoto woke up with a start, two minutes before his alarm clock was set to go off. He dressed in a hurry and rushed out the door.

Rin stood waiting, “You’re up early.”

 

“You were up first,” Makoto countered, blushing.

 

“Yeah, whatever. We got a long train ride, lets get going.” Rin turned around and left without another word.

 

Makoto followed eagerly, almost bumping into a sleepy-looking girl with a clearly-slept-in ponytail.

 

He expected the train ride to be long, but it seemed to last forever. Rin had headphones on the whole time, and was absentmindedly signing the lyrics with one hand by his thigh. Makoto had no idea what he was saying. At one point, an English speaking family sat down across from them, talking excitedly as they looked at a brochure.

 

“Do you… having… dokodesuka... where it is? Wakarimasuka?” The father tried to ask Makoto.

 

“Um… I’m sorry?” Makoto blushed.

 

“Er, gomen na…” The father apologized.

 

Rin sighed, taking off his headphones and answering for Makoto. There followed a very rapid English conversation that hurt Makoto’s head to try and follow. Eventually, the train stopped at the family’s station, and the father shook Rin’s hand and left.

 

Makoto just stared at Rin in disbelief, “You speak three languages.”

 

“Yeah.” Rin put his headphones back on.

 

“Okay…” Makoto muttered and pretended to read an advertisement for cereal to look like he also had something to do. _Why does_ he _always get to look cool?_ Was the actual thought on his mind, however.

 

Eventually, the train stopped at the station nearest Meadowgrove. Altogether, it had been a five hour train ride. From the station, it was only a ten minute bus ride and a five minute walk to the campus.

 

“This place looks nice.” Makoto said, looking around. There were large beds of flowers, tall buildings with huge windows, and a volleyball court.

 

“Yeah.” Rin scowled at everything, “So did the people who put him here.”

 

A couple students walked around in pairs, drinking coffee or eating various breakfast foods. Makoto smiled at them as they passed, waving. Rin just plowed on ahead to the visitors center. An older woman sat at the front desk, putting an ice cube in an orchid. She smiled when they approached.

 

“Hello, how may I help you?” She placed her pink nails on her computer keyboard, ready to look something up.

 

“Nanase Haruka.” Rin responded bluntly. “Where is he?”

 

“Nanase…” Something shifted in her expression, “You don’t mean the blind gentleman?”

 

“Yeah. Where does he live?” Rin tapped his fingers impatiently.

  
“Oh dear…” She frowned worriedly, twirling her hair around a pencil. “I’m afraid you might be in for a bit of a shock…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another cliff-hanger. Yeah... sorry. See you guys in a couple days!
> 
> Keep leaving comments and sending messages on Tumblr, it's awesome to see that you guys are real people, not just slowly rising view-count numbers. <3
> 
> You guys have been so nice to me, that's so cool... :')


	17. Chapter 17

“What.” Rin’s expression was blank, but a rush of dread filled him.

 

“Don’t worry, we already called the police, and-” The woman began.

 

“How could you just _lose him?”_ Rin yelled, anger making his fists clench, “He can’t get around on his own!”

 

“Sir, we’re doing all we can to find your friend, but-” Rin cut her off again.

 

“Did you check the pool?” Rin whirled around as if Haru and the pool might be somewhere behind him.

 

“We’ve searched all over campus. Nobody’s seen him.”

 

Why was she being so calm?! Rin felt like punching her just so she’d have some expression. “Gaah!! I hope this place burns!” Rin shoved past a shocked looking Makoto and headed for the door.

 

“Excuse me!” A voice called from behind him. Rin turned around to find a tall guy with spiked up red hair standing there.

 

“Who are you?” Rin spat.

 

“You’re looking for Haruka, yeah? I’m his roommate.” The guy stepped forward. “Seijuro.”

 

This guy was Haru’s new roommate? Rin felt instantly uncomfortable. The two didn’t go together at all. “You’re deaf?” Was all he could think to ask.

 

“Ish.” Seijuro shrugged, “I’m working on that.”

 

“Gross.” Rin turned away, shoving out the door.

 

“Hey, wait!” Seijuro grabbed Rin’s shoulder, “Let me help you.”

 

“I don’t want your help.” Rin shoved him away, looking back to make sure Makoto was following. He was. Good.

 

“I’m his roommate, maybe I can do something.” Seijuro pleaded.

 

“I’ve known Haru since childhood, what could you possibly tell me?” Rin scowled.

 

“That all his stuff is gone from our room.” Seijuro offered, stepping back.

 

Oh. Yeah, that was something. “Makoto!” Rin called back.

 

“Y-yeah?” Makoto looked ready to cry. Dammit, this wasn’t the moment.

 

“Call Haru’s mom. Make sure she didn’t take him somewhere.” Not a chance, but he needed to make sure. Maybe he had underestimated Haru. Rin hadn’t thought he’d be capable of leaving on his own, he didn’t know his way around town or the bus system. Unless he’d figured it out on his own somehow. Rin flipped open his own phone, texting Haru again, “Where are you? I’m at Meadowgrove.” He tapped his foot impatiently for about five seconds before he gave up and turned to Seijuro, “Where’s the pool?” Haru wouldn’t be there if his stuff was gone, but Rin needed to feel like he was doing something.

 

Halfway to the pool, his phone buzzed, “Left.” It was Haru.

 

Dammit. _“Where,_ idiot?” No response for a good five minutes. Rin just stood there staring at his phone.

 

“Dolphins.”

 

What? “Makoto!” Rin called. Makoto was just then hanging up the phone call with Haru’s mother.

 

“What happened?” Makoto ran his fingers nervously through his hair.

 

“He said he’s with the dolphins.” Rin shrugged.

 

Makoto’s eyes widened, “No way! Oh my god, I thought he was dead…” Makoto sat down on the nearest bench resting his head in his hands.

 

Rin was still confused, “What the hell does that mean, though?”

 

“Did you say… Sorry what?” Seijuro looked confused.

 

“Dolphins.”

 

“What?”

 

_“Dolphins.”_ Rin fingerspelled. He was more than done with this guy.

 

“You sign!” Seijuro exclaimed. “Wow, you really must be good friends.”

 

“No, Coda. My dad.” Rin half-signed, and turned back to Makoto, “What does that _mean?”_

 

“It’s okay, he’s fine! He’s back home.” The look of relief on Makoto’s face was annoying. Rin still had no clue what he meant.

 

“Does he sign too?” Seijuro pointed at Makoto. Jeez, when would this guy give up?

 

“Sorta.” Rin sighed, sitting down on the bench with Makoto. Might as well take a minute to calm down since everything was confusing.

 

“Is he a Coda too?” Seijuro questioned, sitting on Makoto’s other side.

 

Rin gave up on Japanese, signing back, “No, just super gay for Haru or something.”

 

Seijuro’s eyes widened, “Oh. Okay.” He stopped asking questions after that, which Rin counted as a success.

 

Not long later, they were back on the train again. Makoto quickly fell asleep on Rin’s shoulder, and Rin would have pushed him away if- well, if he’d almost reunited with, then lost, then found Sousuke in the space of an hour, he’d be pretty exhausted too.

 

So- Haru was at the aquarium. Back near their school. Rin was going to hate making him go back to Meadowgrove, but the risk of Haru losing his parents was of greater concern at the moment. It was probably better to deal with three years of misery than have his parents pull their support, or worse, disown him.

 

He remembered back only a few years ago when Haru’s parents had left him with his grandmother. His dad had some business opportunity on the other side of Japan, and his mother had followed. For whatever reason, Haru had either decided to stay, or simply was left behind. He loved his grandmother though, she had learned sign for him. She took him to the ocean all the time, even though Haru’s mom was worried he’d drown or get lost. As if. Haru was safer in the water than on land. Somehow, he always knew where he was, and amazingly, where everything else was too. It was almost like being in water let him see again.

 

The train stopped off at Tokyo station a few hours later. Makoto and Rin sprinted the rest of the way to the aquarium, arriving panting and sweaty. They headed straight for the dolphin tank, awkwardly dodging hoards of children and teenage couples.

 

At first glance, the dolphin tank seemed empty. The surface of the water was smooth and still. Rin walked over to the edge, looking in. A moment later, Haru burst up from below. Rin splashed him.

 

Haru looked confused, then turned to the splashing, “I’m deaf, I can’t hear you.”

 

Rin sighed, “Dammit. Hey!” He called out over the water, hoping some trainer would be there. No response. Oh well, no helping it, then. Rin quickly dressed down to his swimsuit- which yeah, he’d been wearing all day. So what?- and climbed over the edge into the tank. One of the dolphins emerged and eyed him warily.

 

Haru noticed someone else was in the water, because he swam over to Rin, and held out his hands.

 

“It’s Rin.” Rin fingerspelled, “What the hell?”

 

“I figured out the train.” Haru explained.

 

“Beside the point entirely. You’re in the dolphin tank, did you know that?” Rin wished Haru could see him frowning.

 

Haru looked confused, “Yeah… So are you.”

 

It was like pulling teeth with this guy. _“Why?”_

 

Haru shrugged.

 

Rin muttered under his breath, “You make me so angry…” He signed to Haru, “You’ll get in trouble.”

 

Haru shook his head, “No I won’t. I work here.”

 

What. _“What?”_ He looked over at Makoto who was standing at the side looking worried, “He says he works here!”

 

“Does he?” Makoto called back.

 

“Hell if I know. You come talk to him, I’m pissed off.” Rin scowled at Haru, who must have noticed Rin was talking to someone.

 

“Is Makoto here?” He tapped Rin’s elbow insistently, like Rin was taking too long to answer a question he was in the middle of asking.

 

“Yeah.” Rin looked back at Makoto, “You wore a swimsuit, right?”

 

Makoto blushed, “Yeah.”

 

“Did he wear a swimsuit?” Haru asked, clearly on the same wavelength.

 

“Yeah.” Rin waved Makoto over.

 

Makoto carefully and awkwardly dressed down to his swimsuit, trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

 

Rin rolled his eyes, “The one who would look can’t see you. Hurry up.”

 

Makoto nodded, dancing out of his pant legs and climbing up the stairs.

 

_What a dork._

 

He swam over to Haru, taking his hands. Rin swam back a bit. “Hey, Haru.” Makoto smiled.

 

Haru didn’t say anything, he just wrapped his arms around Makoto’s waist, pulling them both underwater for a moment. When they came back up, Makoto was hugging him back, blushing obviously, but enthusiastic nonetheless.

 

The handshape for “I love you” is the thumb, index, and pinky finger extended. Rin watched from a distance as the overly-touchy scene was displayed.

 

Makoto signed “I love you.”

 

Haru grabbed his hand, kissing each extended finger before wrapping his arms back around Makoto. He spoke in Japanese, “I love you too.”

 

Rin’s eyes widened in shock. That was a bit unexpected.

 

Haru smiled, “I can speak your language too.”

 

Rin ducked under water, this was too much. Like the answer to a prayer, a trainer appeared.

 

“Hey! You can’t be in there! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She flipped her ponytail and glared at them.

 

Ah, good. Answers. “Does he work here?” Rin pointed at Haru.

 

“Nanase-san? Yeah, but you don’t! It’s dangerous in there, get out before I call security!”

 

Hmm. Well, then. “Alright, don’t worry, we’re just leaving. Makoto, Haru, time to go.”

 

Makoto interpreted. Aw. He was getting better. Haru nodded, grabbing Makoto’s hand and pulling him under. They emerged by the staircase, and climbed out. Rin followed, rolling his eyes. Whatever. As long as Haru was happy.

  
He’d make him sit down and explain everything later, Rin didn’t quite feel like disrupting their reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CODA (or just Coda) stands for Child Of Deaf Adult. It started out as the name of an organization, but now it's also used in everyday conversation since it's convenient. It's the same as (what I think is used in Britain) "Hearing Me, Mother Father Deaf" (HMMFD). If anyone knows what term Japanese Deaf use, please tell me! I haven't been able to find it...
> 
> See you soon! Iml/


	18. Chapter 18

“This is the worst decision you’ve ever made. You will regret this.” Haru’s mom informed her son.

 

Makoto kept his hands on Haru’s shoulders as Rin begrudgingly interpreted. _“This is not my job,”_ he had said. _“Nobody pays me, I could make shit up,”_ he had said. _“Let go of my sleeve,”_ he had said as Makoto dragged him into the room to help out Haru.

 

“I’m an adult.” Haru responded.

 

“Barely! And what will you do without our support, Haruka? We won’t live forever, and if you’ve left school how will you maintain a career?” She clung to her husband for support. Mr. Nanase stood stoically by.

 

“I have a job already. So, I don’t have to go back to school. School is for getting you a job, right? Finished that.” He nodded confidently.

 

“That is so entirely simplifying! You cannot maintain a career at an aquarium! What will you do if you’re unemployed? Do you understand how shameful that would be?” Her cheeks flushed pink with emotion.

 

“If people are unemployed, they get support. Also, I can get disability support as well, so I won’t die.” He reached back and touched Makoto’s hand on his shoulder. “It’s not shameful if I ask for help. I thought you taught me that. If you’d rather me be self-sufficient, then don’t make me talk like you.”

 

“Haruka, you misunderstand.”

 

“I don’t think so. If everyday I need help to walk, and listen in class, and read the mail- and you told me that’s okay- then why is it shameful to need help in other ways? I’m okay now. Maybe in the future I won’t be, but maybe I’ll even be better.” He set his jaw, a strange, defiant look taking over his face.

 

“I want you to have the best possible chance in life. So much of that was taken away from you already. I’m worried as your mother. Do you understand that?” Tears sprung to her eyes.

 

Haru’s shoulders collapsed, “I understand, but remember…? When I was born you said you cried, right? You said you prayed for the gods to fix me. Then when they didn’t, you prayed for me to be okay from then on. Because I had ‘paid my dues,’ right? Then I lost my vision. That’s where my memory begins, I think. You said you prayed for my punishment to stop. I remember you crying at the hospital. You prayed for my success. You keep praying for good things to happen to me, and you always say your prayers don’t get answered. But…” Haru’s hands shook, “I think they did. When I couldn’t hear, we met neighbors who could speak to me. When I couldn’t see, I lived with Grandmother who learned how to teach me. And when I became an adult, I met friends who were willing to learn for me.” Rin hesitated in speaking, looking pointedly away from Haru’s mother’s tearful eyes. “I think I’ve had more blessings than I’ve deserved. To ask for me to see or hear is ungrateful! And I don’t want it anyway.”

 

Mrs. Nanase’s mouth was shut tight. Her shoulders drooped to match her son’s.

 

A moment later, Mr. Nanase stepped forward, “If you wouldn’t mind, Matsuoka-san.” He cleared his throat, “Son, I wonder… I love you and want to support you as best I can. But I also see your mother’s concern. I know it’s frustrating to take a path and be met with such resistance, but you can’t just shun the rest of the world for not understanding you. Their misunderstanding is not their fault, although it is their loss. I wonder if…” He glanced at his wife, “if it would be possible to try this out. Conditionally. If you can keep your job, and support yourself, then you won’t have to go back to school.” He looked at Mrs. Nanase again, who frowned. He sighed and continued, “I am afraid for your future, but I want to give my support if you need it. If you find yourself struggling, you will go back to Meadowgrove. And this time, you will stay for all three years.”

 

Mrs. Nanase shut her eyes, still frowning severely.

 

Haru lifted his head and opened his. “I can accept that.”

 

The room turned to look at Mrs. Nanase, waiting. After a moment, she nodded.

 

“Your mom agrees.” Rin told Haru.

 

“Okay.” Haru confirmed.

 

The room was silent, taking it in. Makoto was struggling not to cry, this was better than he’d expected. He promised himself to do whatever it took to keep Haru from failing, so he’d never have to return to that place he hated so much.

 

Soon after the silence became awkward, Mrs. Nanase approached her son and kissed him on the forehead, “Good luck,” she whispered, “I love you,” she signed.

 

Haru just nodded.

 

*******

 

Haru found an apartment that was a three minute train ride from his work. He settled into a schedule, figuring out the train system, and how many steps it took to get from there to the front gate of the aquarium, which- from there- he already knew by heart.

 

Makoto was happy for him.

 

A few weeks later, they sat on Haru’s couch in his apartment, Haru leaning against Makoto’s chest. Makoto had discovered that Haru was happiest when there was some sort of physical contact. That made sense. If that’s the way you perceived the world, then just sitting alone would be a bit understimulating.

 

Makoto was drawing kanji on Haru’s palm with his finger. Haru was supposed to guess what was being drawn. It wasn’t the most exciting game, but it was good for a lazy Saturday afternoon. Haru was almost always right, and when he’d guessed the word, he taught Makoto the sign, so you could almost call it productive if you tried.

 

“I want to go to the ocean.” Haru stopped playing in the middle of the kanji for ‘short’ to tap Makoto on the knee.

 

“It’s December.” Makoto reminded gently.

 

“I want to go to the pool, then.” Haru amended, sitting up.

 

“It’s the weekend, all the kids will be there.”

 

Haru huffed, shutting his eyes, “Think if I turn on a car siren, all the Hearing will leave?”

 

Makoto laughed, “I’d leave too.”

 

“Oh yeah. We should get you some Deaf Aids.” Haru leaned back down against Makoto.

 

“Is that a real thing?” Makoto readjusted his elbow to reach Haru’s hands.

 

“Yeah. Ear plugs.”

 

“Oh yeah…” Obviously.

 

“We could invite your siblings over.” Haru suggested.

 

“You’re kidding.”

 

“No, I should meet them. Your parents can come too. You talk about them constantly.” Haru stood up again, walking to the little kitchen. “They’re only a train ride away, right? I’ll make dinner.”

 

In order to respond, Makoto would need to stand up and go into the kitchen. Something about that task seemed impossible a he sat so comfortably on the couch. So, rather than answer, he texted his mom, “Can you make it for dinner at Haru’s tonight?”

 

His mom always responded quickly, “You sure we won’t be a bother? There’s a lot of us.”

 

Makoto glanced at the dining room table. _Hmm._ Sighing, he stood up to walk to the kitchen. “You know, there’s not enough room at the table for everyone.”

 

“Move the couch, we can have a picnic on the floor.” Haru suggested, opening the meticulously organized fridge.

 

Makoto shrugged, texting his mom again, “It’s fine if you’re up for a picnic on Haru’s apartment floor.”

 

There was a slightly longer pause than normal before she responded, “Ran and Ren are extremely excited about eating on the floor. See you for dinner! <3”

 

Makoto shut off his phone and went to move the couch. Haru was organizing ingredients on the counter, and had set a pot of water to boil. Makoto smiled, it all felt so domestic. When he was searching for an apartment, Haru had specifically chosen one with old wood floors, which shook when someone stomped on them. Makoto did just that, getting Haru’s attention.

 

“What?” Haru turned his direction, holding his hands out.

 

“You can’t cook only mackerel. Do I need to run by the store?” He glanced around at the laid out ingredients, confirming that there was, in fact, only fish-cooking supplies.

 

“Oh. Yeah. What do kids eat… tilapia?” Haru frowned, thinking about it.

 

“What? No, you can’t only serve fish. You have to have… um…” He wasn’t quite sure how to sign it, so he spelled it “Variety?” Haru taught him the word. “Yeah. You have to have variety with food.”

 

“Sometimes I don’t use alcohol to cook mackerel,” Haru defended himself.

 

“Ah… that’s good.” Makoto gave up. Arguing would take vocabulary he didn’t possess. “Okay, I’ll leave then. Bye.”

 

“Are you driving there?” Haru asked.

 

“Uh, no, I’ll probably take the train.”

 

“How long before you’re back?” Haru questioned further.

 

“Around twenty minutes.” Makoto estimated.

 

“Which store are you going to?”

 

“Um…” Makoto felt a little overwhelmed, “The one on 6th and M?”

 

“That’s called Greentown.” Haru nodded. “Okay. See you in twenty minutes.”

 

“Okay. Bye.”

 

“Bye.”

 

Makoto left, grabbing his lanyard that held his school ID, his room keys, and a copy of Haru’s apartment key. Since knocking on Haru’s door was pointless, a plethora of keys had been cut so that people could let themselves in when they wanted. Makoto had thought it strange at first, but Rin had assured him that it was normal, and probably not very dangerous. Even Haru’s next door neighbors had keys. One was an old woman who only left the house for groceries, so Makoto didn’t worry, but the other was a young, college-age woman who made Makoto slightly uncomfortable. He shrugged the thought of that off as he approached the train station, focusing instead on the list he was forming in his head.

 

_Fish needs to go over rice, so get that… Something simple for a side, so maybe get salad ingredients?_

 

The ride to and from the store was uneventful. Makoto returned almost exactly twenty minutes later, and let himself in.

 

Haru stood in the kitchen, doing everything at once. Fish was frying in front of him, and he was chopping onions behind his back while he rinsed the cutting board in the sink with the other hand.

 

Makoto’s eyes widened slightly. That was pretty weird looking. Like something you’d see in a movie. Actually, it sounded kind of like a movie he’d watch. “Deaf and Blind Master Chef.” He’d have a really dark, quiet restaurant so everyone could taste their food better. That would be pretty cool.

 

Makoto stomped on the floor, and Haru flipped the knife in his onion-cutting hand in a skilled but dangerous looking way before he turned around.

 

“Makoto?”

 

Makoto walked over to confirm, “Yeah. You can… really cook, huh?”

 

“Yes…” Haru frowned like it should have been obvious. “I’m very good at cooking.”

 

“Okay.” Makoto agreed, looking around the kitchen. It almost looked like a mess, but not quite. Everything was oddly organized into groups- fish seasonings, cutlery, dishes, mackerel. It’s just that within those groups, everything seemed scattered. Makoto wouldn’t dare touch it, though. He was sure Haru knew precisely where everything was, and he didn’t want to mess that up.

 

“What did you get?” Haru asked.

 

Makoto thought for a moment about the signs for the words, “Rice, lettuce, little tomatoes, carrots, cheese, dressing, and juice. You didn’t have juice.” That was important for Ran and Ren at least.

 

“Okay, good. I’ll wash the rice, you wash the lettuce.” Haru held out his hand and Makoto handed him the bag of rice. “Hmm… Nevermind, I’ll do it all.” Haru took the whole grocery bag from Makoto and put it on the last empty space on the counter.

 

“Okay. I’ll just… go over there then.” Makoto went to sit down at the table that they wouldn’t be using, choosing just to watch Haru cook. The amazing skill and fluidity he had was made to look especially strange given the fact that his head was bowed, and his eyes were closed the whole time. He didn’t look real. Makoto didn’t mind being shoved out of the kitchen at all. It was way more entertaining to sit back and watch.

 

Haru’s fingertips never left the counter, instead, they skimmed along the tops of his many organized jumbles. They even grazed over the blades of the knifes- checking for serrated edges or length- which made Makoto cringe, but Haru seemed to know what he was doing.

 

A few hours later, the food was done and there was a knock on the door. Makoto told Haru before he went to open it.

 

“Onii-chan!” Two small, energetic blurs shouted as they wrapped around Makoto.

 

“Hi! Welcome!” Makoto smiled down at them before looking up at his parents.

 

“We brought cake!” His mom chirped, holding it out.

 

“Thank you!” Makoto smiled, taking it from her and walking inside to put it on the table. “Please come in!”

 

Haru washed his hands of food and walked over to where the sudden outburst of floor vibrations was happening.

 

“Yeah- Mom, Dad, this is Haru, my uh… He was my roommate. I told you about him.” Makoto tried not to blush, and hoped he succeeded. Haru held his hands out, and Makoto took them, explaining, “My mom is to your far left, my dad is on her right, Ran is right in front of you, and Ren is behind her.”

 

“Got it.” Haru nodded.

 

“That’s so amazing, Onii-chan!” Ren exclaimed, “Is that _talking?”_

 

“Yeah.” Makoto smiled, feeling proud of himself.

 

“Well, it seems college has taught you more than just books.” Mr. Tachibana clapped his hand on Makoto’s shoulder.

 

“Y-yeah. I guess so.” Makoto smiled awkwardly.

 

“I wanna do that!” Ran exclaimed, tugging on Makoto’s arm.

 

“Oh. Okay. Haru, this is my sister” he informed.

 

“What do I do?” Ran whispered.

 

“Take his hand,” Makoto instructed, “and do this.” He showed her the letter ‘Ra.’ She copied him. “Then this.” He showed her the letter ‘N.’

 

Her eyes lit up when Haru’s hand followed hers in the swooping motion for the letter ‘N.’

 

“Me too!” Whined Ren, jumping forward. Makoto showed him the letter ‘Re’ and the letter ‘N.’

 

“So cool!” They shouted together.

 

Haru signed back.

 

“He says, ‘I’m Haru, nice to meet you.’” Makoto translated. “Oh- and he says that dinner’s ready.”

 

“Picnic!” Ran and Ren called, dashing over to the open space on the floor and plopping down.

 

Makoto’s mother put a hand on her son’s shoulder before he could follow Haru into the kitchen. “You learned this language for him?” She asked.

 

Makoto’s stomach flipped nervously, “Yeah. It’s- it’s a cool language, you know. I saw him and his childhood friend Rin speaking it all the time, so, I just wanted to learn it. Plus, it was great practice having him as a roommate, you know. So I could talk to him and learn new stuff all the time. You know, once you learn the alphabet, you can ask how to sign any word. That’s pretty cool. You can’t do that when you’re learning English.” Makoto bit his lip to stop himself from babbling more. “Let’s eat, Haru’s an amazing cook. I mean! I haven’t really been here a lot, but he looks like he’s really good at it.” Ugh. He should just stop talking forever.

 

His mother just nodded, and followed her kids down to the floor. Makoto had set out cushions for his parents, and hoped Ren and Ran wouldn’t steal them for forts.

 

Haru set the dishes on the counter, and Makoto picked them up and walked them over to each of his family members. Then he and Haru made their way to their own places. Makoto grimaced awkwardly when his parents stared at their clasped hands.

 

“He’s- it’s- um… Yeah, okay, let’s eat.” Makoto stammered, sitting down next to Haru.

 

He held his hands up in prayer to hide his face as the room muttered a quick “Itadakimasu.”

  
Okay. This was going to be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a Deaf story that goes- "One night, two Deaf newlyweds checked into a motel. The wife got ready the room while the husband went to bring their bags from the car. As he was walking back, he realized he'd forgotten the room number. Thinking quickly, he switched on his car alarm. Every light switched on, and hearing people looked out of their room in annoyance- except for one room- the room his wife was in. That's how he figured out which room to go to."
> 
> I like that story a lot.
> 
> Makoto's still so Hearing... He hasn't quite gotten used to the fact that when he leaves the house, Haru will want to know EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING ON. I'm talking every detail. There is no, "Be back soon," in the Deaf world. Get with the times, Makoto.


	19. Chapter 19

Ren and Ran scooted over to sit on either side of Haru. Throughout the meal, they repeatedly asked Makoto for how to say certain words, just so they could show them to Haru. He didn’t seem to mind, he just nodded and answered something simple back when necessary.

 

“I’m gonna learn sign language just like Onii-chan!” Ran squealed.

 

“Me too! Then I can cheat in school!” Ren enthused.

 

“Ren, don’t say that.” Mrs. Tachibana scolded, looking admonishingly at her son.

 

“So… Deaf people can’t see or hear? That’s a bummer.” Ran sighed.

 

“No- most deaf people aren’t blind. Haru’s just both.” Makoto corrected, taking Ran’s unwanted tomatoes.

 

“Poor kid.” Mr. Tachibana spoke up, “Good thing he’s got you, Makoto, right?”

 

“Y-yeah.” Makoto shifted awkwardly. “He can… he can do stuff on his own, though.”

 

“Of course.” Mrs. Tachibana nodded, “I’m sure he’s learned a lot of tricks for coping.”

 

Makoto felt uncomfortable. “Who wants cake?”

 

“ME!!” Ran and Ren screamed.

 

Makoto let Haru know, then went to get the cake off the table. It was round and chocolate with sliced strawberries covering the top. It looked delicious.

 

Makoto’s mom cut it and smiled at him, “You know, I think you and Haru make a good pair.”

 

What. “O-oh?”

 

“Yes. He seems a bit introverted, and you’re not. Also, he seems pretty self sustaining, where you’ve always liked to do things as a team effort. You balance each other out.” She smiled again, and handed out paper plates of cake to everyone.

 

_...Does she already know? No. No way. I’ve never said anything to her or anyone else for that matter. Although… It seemed like the rest of my friends figured it out before even I did…_

 

Makoto shook these thoughts off, glancing at Haru, who was squinting down at his cake like it had just insulted his mother. Or… Grandmother more accurately.

 

“What’s wrong?” Makoto asked.

 

“What flavor is this?” Haru kept squinting at it. “It smells like chocolate, but I thought I saw pink.”

 

“It’s chocolate. There’s strawberries on top.” Makoto explained, glancing over to see both his parents staring at him with weird expressions. _Oh my god, they do know. I have to say something._ Just then another part of his brain chimed in, _DO NOT. DO NOT SPEAK._ That part of his brain must have glued his tongue to the roof of his mouth, because a moment later, he found it impossible to swallow, let alone say anything. _You can’t be sure, so just say nothing._ But… _I’ll have to say something eventually. Might as well be now, right?_ Makoto’s stomach twisted painfully. _They’ll probably be fine with it._ The consenting part of his brain tried to think of words. _STOP OR I WILL FIGHT YOU._ The other part of his brain screamed, tieing his tongue again. Okay… so a compromise. Makoto thought about it for a second, “Um… What is it?” _Dammit, I suck._

 

“Oh! Nothing.” His mother smiled again, “You just look cute.”

 

_I look… cute? Yup, they know, say something now before you can’t anymore._ “Oh… Okay.” His voice died in his throat. _Pathetic._ He turned back to Haru, “Hey… Did you say anything to them?” He half hoped Haru had, just to make it easier on him.

 

“No.” _Damn._ “Why?”

 

“They… they’re acting like… like they know something. About us.” Makoto didn’t know how to say it.

 

“That… you mean they understand what we’re saying?” Haru frowned.

 

“No, I mean,” He broke off, nervous again. He kicked himself, _come on, at least say it to Haru._ “That we’re dating.”

 

Haru stared blankly, “They didn’t already know that? I told my parents.”

 

“Really?! When did you-”

 

“What’s Onii-chan saying?” Ren whined.

 

Ran huffed, “Gross _married_ stuff that gross _married_ people do.”

 

“What?” Ren exclaimed, “They’re not married, they’re boys!”

 

“There’s nothing gross about being married.” Mr. Tachibana smiled at his wife.

 

“Even if they’re boys.” Mrs. Tachibana looked pointedly at Makoto.

 

“Oh…” Makoto sighed, “Oh-Okay… Um, do you mean…?”

 

“It’s okay that you’re dating Haru.” Mrs. Tachibana nodded, turning back to her cake.

 

“You _knew?”_ Makoto exclaimed.

 

“He’s _what?”_ Ran bounced over to sit in Makoto’s lap.

 

“Son, you invited us over to his house for dinner.” Mr. Tachibana said gently.

 

“Also, your friend Hazuki-kun is not great at keeping secrets.” Mrs. Tachibana laughed.

 

“Oh my god…” Makoto covered his face.

 

“ _And,_ you struggled for _years_ in English classes, but now you can sign.” Mr. Tachibana added. “If you were going for subtlety, you missed it by a wide shot.”

 

Makoto nodded, heart pounding furiously, and tapped Haru, “They know.”

 

“You told them?”

 

“No, they knew before.” Makoto sighed again.

 

“Oh. That makes sense. You sign pretty gay, so I figured your Japanese would be similar.” Haru picked a strawberry off the top of his cake.

 

_What?!_ Makoto huffed, trying to think of a comeback. “ _You_ … sign… gay.” Ugh.

 

“Yeah.” Haru nodded, “I know.”

 

Ren climbed on Makoto’s lap too, chocolate icing all around his mouth, “What are you saying?”

 

Makoto handed him a napkin, “Gross married stuff.”

 

Ren frowned, “That’s not fair.”

 

“What do you mean?” Makoto tried to get him to wipe his face.

 

“I thought Onii-chan was supposed to marry _me._ I love you best!” He huffed.

 

“Me too! But now we can’t even understand you.” Ran’s lower lip wobbled.

 

“Aw- don’t be sad.” Makoto tightened her pigtails, “Maybe someday you’ll learn. And I don’t _have_ to marry you. We’re already family.”

 

The twins stared at him blankly, “Oh… so is Haru-chan our brother now?”

 

“What?!” Makoto blushed.

 

The parents giggled annoyingly.

 

“N-no, I’m not _really_ married to Haru.” He stammered, trying not to look his parents in the eyes, “They were just joking!”

 

“But, soon though, right?” Ren asked.

 

“What would your _names_ be?” Ran giggled, “ _Nanase_ Makoto? Tachibana _Haru_?”

 

“TACHIBANANASE!” Ren yelled enthusiastically.

 

“TACHIBANANASE!” Ran agreed, jumping up off Makoto’s lap and picking up her cake plate, _“Tachibananase!”_

 

Makoto decided not to explain this part to Haru.

 

At that moment there was a knock on the door. The twins got really quiet before racing each other over to look through the peephole.

 

“Haru-nii-chan!” Ran called behind her, “There’s a man outside and he looks mad!”

 

“I wanna see!” Ren whined, “You always go first!”

 

Makoto told Haru and went to go check for himself. Ran and Ren stood by his side, clearly trying to restrain their excitement. “Oh. That’s Rin. He always looks like that.”

 

“Tachibana, I know you’re in there!” Rin called, “I could just walk in, you know. I’m only knocking out of fear for what I might see if I walk in and you two are-”

 

Makoto opened the door, “Rin! What? My family is here!”

 

“Oh. Sorry.” Rin did not sound sorry. He sounded amused. “I was gonna say ‘playing video games,’ by the way. Super bad for your growing young brains.” He looked down at the twins. “Oh, are these the ones that mailed you a cat?”

 

“They _what?_ ” Mr. Tachibana walked over to the door. Frowning at Ran and Ren.

 

“Yeah, but it’s okay, Haru named it _‘Fish’_ so it’s less of a responsibility. More of a practice pet. Maybe when Haru and Makoto have a baby they’ll name it ‘Cat’ to make up for it.” Rin held out his hand, “Matsuoka Rin. I’m Haru’s friend and voice.”

 

Mr. Tachibana shook his hand warily.

 

Mrs. Tachibana approached too, “Are you deaf as well?”

 

“Not enough. I’m trying, though. My vision’s not great, but if I wear glasses I do okay.” Rin glanced behind them into the house, “Oh, there he is. Tachibana, include him. Shame on you.” Rin edged past the crowd of Tachibanas to go sit in front of Haru.

 

Makoto watched as Rin signed something he couldn’t understand. Haru nodded and stood up.

 

“Various Tachibanas! Sorry to disturb you, but Haru and I are going on a little road trip, and it’s pretty urgent we leave right now. It appears I’m interrupting a wedding reception, so I do apologise to the bride.” He bowed to Makoto, “Great to finally meet the ones who masterminded the cat-in-the-box feat, I’m in awe.” He nodded to Ren and Ran who beamed. “See you around!” He grabbed Haru’s hand and started dragging him away. “Also, Makoto,” his voice suddenly got serious, “I’d get them out of here if I were you. Go literally anywhere else. Take them to the aquarium! It’s open for another hour.”

 

“No it’s not…” Makoto frowned.

 

“Well, the zoo, then. Somewhere fun and hopefully free ‘cause I can only assume that as a college student you’re poor as shit. Regardless, this apartment is about to get some unwelcome visitors, so I’d evacuate asap.” Rin patted him on the shoulder and left, closing the door swiftly behind him.

 

“That boy was rude.” Mr. Tachibana frowned.

 

“He was great!” Ran and Ren cried.

 

Makoto shifted nervously, “Um… so who’s up for one more activity before you head home?”

  
“Yeah!” The twins cheered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tachibananase! 
> 
> Don't worry, they won't name their kid Cat. They'll name it Tachibananase Makaruka. That's way better. Also, since that's not a real name in Japanese, the kid will have to go around forever writing it's name in katakana, so it'll read like sound FX. The fearsome battle cry, "Ma-Ma-Ma-Makaruka!!!!"


	20. Chapter 20

“Rin, where are we going?” Haru frowned as Rin dragged him away.

 

“Huh? Oh. Isn’t it obvious?” Rin marched ahead, steering haphazardly away from a man in a business suit who was not paying attention to them. “Get your stick- cane- thing. People keep almost running into us.”

 

“No, I can’t sign then. It’s not obvious. Where are you taking me?” Haru frowned, clearly annoyed.

 

“Home. I think you should stay away for a few days so they can cool down before you confront them.” Rin bodily pushed another smartly dressed gentleman out of their way before he could run into them. “He’s blind, asshole, yield!” The smartly dressed gentleman flipped him off. Rin laughed.

 

_“Your_ home?” Haru asked.

 

“Well, yeah. If we go to your house they’ll find you. It’s cool, it’s a long weekend, and I’ll just take off Tuesday, no one will care, it’s college. Give you a solid three days at my place before we call them. That’s the gun waiting period in America, you know. I’m sure it’s enough to calm down angry parents.” They hit a flight of stairs and Rin had to slow down. Walking backwards so he could talk to Haru was dangerous enough without adding agility training.

 

Haru stopped walking, “What did she say exactly?”

 

Oh. Rin didn’t really want to repeat it. He did though, it was only fair. “Um, well… She said... ‘My son will not choose to continue to disobey me. Isn’t it enough that I let him have this dangerous independence? Now he’s threatening his future with this boy.’ Then she swore at me a lot when I told her I wasn’t gonna let her into your apartment. Then she called my mom who told me to stay out of it. But it’s okay! Because Gou said my old room at my house still has a bed in it, even though I haven’t lived there since I was in elementary school. So, you can stay at my mom’s place with me for a while, and we’ll talk to your parents on Wednesday. Sound good?”

 

Haru nodded. “Wednesday is water day. I think that’s good luck.”

 

Rin rolled his eyes, “Yeah, whatever, weirdo. I’m driving, so don’t talk to me.”

 

They started walking again, taking the fifteen minute stroll back to the college parking lot. Rin opened the door and let Haru get seated before he went back around to start the ignition. “Oh, one more thing.” He tapped Haru, “Don’t answer your phone. I know you never do, but just… no contact with your parents at all for the next few days, okay?”

 

“Okay.” Haru nodded.

 

“Okay. See you in a few hours. Take a nap or something.” Rin turned the engine over, and pulled out of the parking lot. Haru closed his eyes and leaned against the window.

 

Rin hated driving. He hated driving with people, because they were distracting; and he hated driving alone, because that was boring. As a result, he drove as little as possible. However, with Haru, it was the best of both worlds. He didn’t talk, but at least he was company. Also he could go in the HOV lanes, and park in handicapped spots. He often brought Haru with him when he’d go do his grocery shopping, or whatever, just for that reason. He’d felt vaguely guilty about it at first, but he figured that this way Haru got to go places, and handle his own adult responsibilities with some help from Rin. Things like buying food and clothes and other basic necessities. Rin figured it was a win-win, and if sometimes Haru didn’t particularly _need_ to go with him… Well, he would never get out of the house on his own, so Rin had to do _something._ Really, he was just being considerate.

 

Rin yawned, turning on the music. That was another thing- Haru never cared what music he played or how loudly. Gou cared. She always wanted to listen to various pop artists, and “ _Quietly,_ Rin, you can’t appreciate it if your ears are bleeding.”

 

They pulled up into Rin’s mom’s driveway a few hours later. Before they had even gotten out of the car, Gou came dashing out, rushing over to Haru’s side of the car. “Haru! It’s Kou! Welcome home.”

 

Haru did not look pleased to be so suddenly awakened. “Kou. Hi. Is your mom here?”

 

“She’s asleep already. Inside the house. Come on, I’ll take you to your room. Rin can get your bag.” She held out her elbow to Haru, who took it.

 

Rin frowned, “I saw that. Why can’t he get his own stuff?”

 

Gou looked affronted, “Haru’s a guest! And he’s blind, so help him!” She lead Haru towards the house.

 

“He’s also kind of an asshole! Everyone always forgets that.” Rin grumbled, unloading his and Haru’s bags. “I _packed_ this stuff for him. I _am_ nice to him.” He muttered to himself as he followed the other two inside. “You baby him. He’s gotten too used to it.”

 

It was strange walking back into his old house. Everything seemed small. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been back to this house since Australia, it’s just that… Well, this was the first time in years he’d sought refuge in this place. It felt kind of like a dream.

 

Gou stood at the top of the stairs with Haru, looking down at Rin, she signed, “The futon’s in the closet by the upstairs bathroom. Get that?”

 

Rin frowned, “You didn’t start airing it when I told you we were coming?” Gou followed his signs, copying them to Haru.

 

She rolled her eyes, “Did you think I just sat here for hours _waiting_ for you? I had other stuff to do! I have friends too, you know.”

 

“I’ll get it. I know where it is.” Haru signed, breaking away from Gou.

 

Rin jogged up the stairs to watch Gou run over to Haru, “No, no! You don’t have to! I can do it, sorry.”

 

“I got it.” Haru assured, opening the closet and taking it out. “I’ve been over here enough.”

 

“Ah, let him do it, Gou." Rin spoke out loud, “He’s not to big on being taken care of, you know?”

 

“Right.” She nodded, “Of course he can. Yeah, I’ll just go make tea, I think. You have to tell me exactly what happened, and I have a feeling I’ll want something to calm me down.” She bounced off down the stairs as Haru dragged the futon out. Rin followed him into his room, and helped him lay it out on the floor.

 

Haru edged around it to reach him, “Gou said bag. Did you actually bring stuff, or was this just some rash reaction to my parents calling?”

 

“I brought stuff, asshole. Every time you go swimming you leave your clothes behind. I have a small collection.” Rin tossed Haru’s bag on the futon. “There. It’s on the futon. You can go through it if you want.”

 

Haru shrugged and sat down on the mattress, finding the bag and opening it. “I left my phone, so you’re going to have to call Makoto and explain.” Haru informed him.

 

Dammit. That’s right. “Yeah, okay. Gou’s making tea. Want some?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Okay, be right back.” Rin walked out of the room, dialing Makoto’s number quickly on his phone.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey, Tachibana, it’s Rin. Is your family gone?” Rin trotted down the stairs,the sound of boiling water filled his ears.

 

“Yes! What happened? That was so scary, I thought maybe someone was coming to hurt him?” Makoto’s words ran together quickly.

 

“No, he’s fine. What, do you think the Yakuza’s after some Deaf-Blind college dropout? Hell no. He’s at my house.” Rin signed to Gou while he listened to Makoto answer, _“Enough for three, okay?”_

 

“I didn’t know!” Makoto cried, “Nagisa called, asking where you were, and when I told him what happened, he said that you were probably part of the witness protection program, and you were leaving forever to go to a different country. It makes sense! You speak three languages, maybe you’ve had to move around a lot!”

 

Rin paused, sighing, “Makoto… Damn, I know Haru loves you, but you are dumb as hell. It’s exactly what it always is, it’s his parents. They don’t like that he’s dating you.”

 

There was a long silence over the phone, “...What?”

 

Rin ran his fingers through his hair, already getting re-annoyed about the whole situation. “Yeah. They said something like, ‘Triply disabled.’ Don’t feel too bad, they’re total dicks about most things.” Gou was staring at him open mouthed from the stove. Rin waved her off.

 

“That’s… horrible. He told me he told them. I never asked what they said.” Makoto’s voice was quiet. “Is he safe there?”

 

“Yeah,” Rin nodded, taking two cups from Gou. “They won’t find him. And if they do… I won’t let them in. Downside of Haru letting everyone have keys to his place, yeah?” He headed back up the stairs.

 

“Yeah… I- I… Rin, I…” Makoto stumbled, sounding more and more distressed.

 

“Don’t worry about him. He’s here, he’s safe, he’s happy. We’re his family, we have been ever since my dad taught him to talk. Just… don’t be around when his parents come looking for you. Don’t let them in your dorm, you won’t live to see them leave. Okay?” Rin pushed open his bedroom door with his foot.

 

The sound of springs being depressed, Makoto must have sat down. “Okay. Th-thanks, Rin. Ha-Haru, tell him-”

 

“You love him, and you’ll stare at him longingly again soon. Got it.” Rin nudged Haru.

 

“No.” Makoto’s voice got clearer. “Tell him when he gets back I’ll be here, and we’ll drive down to the beach for the weekend. When his parents come around. Because they will.”

 

Rin handed Haru his tea, and sat down on his old bed. “Oh. See, I’m sure he’d love that, Makoto. Just… Don’t expect much from his parents. They’ve known Haru eighteen years and they haven’t come around.”

 

“They will.” Makoto assured, “I know it. Oh, but… Yeah, tell him I love him too.”

 

Rin smiled a little. “Got it. Dork. Ja.”

 

“Bye.” Makoto hung up with a light _beep._

 

Rin tossed his phone on the bed, thinking about everything that had happened so far. Really, it had been a pretty wild ride. He wondered what would have happened if Haru had just listened to his parents in the first place and signed up to be Rin’s roommate. Or if he’d chosen whatever major his parents had wanted. Or if he’d done what Rin had suggested, and gone to Tsukuba University instead. Haru hadn’t wanted to, they didn’t have his major. Maybe if any one of these things had gone differently, Haru would be sitting in a college dorm, studying for exams. But, if those things _had_ gone differently, then… Haru _would_ be sitting in a dorm studying for exams. Instead, he had an apartment of his own, a decent job, a functional lovelife, and… he had made those choices for _himself._ That was the most important thing. Everything in Haru’s life was his own choice. Maybe he didn’t need his parents support at all. Maybe all of the effort they were putting into trying to change two minds set in stone was pointless. Wasn’t Haru _happier_ without them? Why even bother if they were only going to drag him down?

 

A lump caught in Rin’s throat. _These hateful people aren’t worth a damn, why keep hurting over them?_ He sniffed, turning his head to the floor, trying and failing not to cry. _Damn it_. He glanced up at Haru, who was staring down at his tea, the steam turning his nose damp.

 

_Oh. Yeah. Because Haru still loves them._ He wiped his eyes. _So keep trying for him._

 

Rin set his still-full teacup on the nightstand, and walked out of the room to start the bath.

  
_Keep trying for him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsukuba University is the Japanese Technical school for the Deaf and/or Blind. They don't have many majors there. But hey, at least they *have* one. They're one of the only countries in the world that do.
> 
> Good news! If you've been feeling sad about America lately (all of us, probably), then you'll be happy to know that America has one too! (A better one than Japan's. Ha. It's the best one, actually. It's awesome. Gallaudet.) So, buck up, buddy! America is number one in Deaf Universities!


	21. Chapter 21

Haru woke up the next morning to Rin shoving him with his foot. He sighed, opening then quickly shutting his eyes so Rin would know he was awake. _Sighted people and their need to constantly have things confirmed for them._ It was like a compulsion. They weren’t very good at reading the context of the situation. The mattress depressed as Rin stepped on it, the sat down next to Haru.

 

He stuck his hands under the blanket, pulling Haru’s hands out forcefully, “It’s ten, wake up.” he said, pulling on Haru’s arms until he sat upright.

 

“I’m sick.” Haru answered, trying to lay back down.

 

“You’re not. Get up. I’ll let you make your own breakfast.” Rin tugged on his arms again.

 

“You make breakfast, I’m blind.” Haru pulled his arms away, “Be supportive.”

 

Rin pulled his hands back, “Yeah, you’re real funny. Do you actually want me to cook? Because I could try. I’ll do it, don’t test me.”

 

Haru sighed again, rubbing his gurgling stomach. “No. Don’t cook, you’ll kill me.”

 

“Did you want to cook for everyone, or just me and you?” Rin asked “‘Cause Mom’ll let you have full control of the kitchen if she doesn’t have to share with you.”

 

“Everyone.” That was an easy choice. Haru actually _liked_ cooking. He also liked the Matsuoka women, as well as not having to share things. At last, he stood up begrudgingly, clicking open his cane from next to the futon. He stretched and yawned, not bothering to change out of his pajamas before walking out into the hall. The house was very brightly lit, so even though it was morning, Haru found he had some useful vision available to him. He remembered being in this house as a child. There were very few walls, and light fixtures everywhere. The floors were made of old wood, so every footstep vibrated. The windows were huge, with curtains that always stood open to let in as much natural light as possible. The fire alarms flashed red, the phones flashed blue, and the doorbell flashed white. It really was the ideal Deaf house. Rin’s dad had spent years renovating it until it was perfect. After he died, everything was kept intact. All the little flashing lights and even the TTY were still there. Not that the TTY was put to use anymore. Even if anyone still remaining in the Matsuoka family _was_ deaf, there was more useful, less obsolete technology available on their cell phones. Haru figured they just kept it out of sentiment.

 

Someone grabbed his hand, “Good morning, Haru!”

 

“Morning, Kou. Do you have mackerel?” The side of Haru’s cane hit the corner of the kitchen.

 

“Umm… Maybe?” She walked into the kitchen with him, “Sure you don’t want to branch out?”

 

Haru opened his eyes at her, staring fixedly at the blurry, reddish area that was her face.

 

“Just a suggestion…” She backed down, disappearing for a moment. “Yes, we have some, but it’s in a can, is that fine?” She appeared again.

 

“Yeah. I’m cooking breakfast, okay?” He informed. Kou patted his arm in consent. Haru reached out to find the stove. It was a little disorienting being in someone else’s kitchen. But the pots and pans hung above the stove just like they did at his apartment, so at least that part was easy. He picked out a frying pan and turned on the flat electric burner.

 

The refrigerator in the Matsuoka house was appallingly disorganized. It hurt Haru’s brain to try and picture how anyone could find _anything_ inside it, sighted or not. Giving up, he slapped his hand against the counter a couple times, calling Kou over.

 

“Here.” Hearing people were so convenient.

 

“Help me find stuff.” He pulled her over to the refrigerator, running his hands over the cluttered shelves. He spent a couple minutes having her pull stuff out of the refrigerator and other places so he could organize it in his own meticulous fashion on the counter. “Alright, thanks.” He let her go.

 

“Sure.” She patted his arm, disappearing again a moment later.

 

Better. His ingredients were on his left, and the stove was on his right. Carefully, he moved his hand closer to the stove, feeling for the warmth of the burner he had turned on. He’d left the handle pointing directly out in front, so he found that quickly. The small bottle of olive oil was to his left and near the back right of the counter. He found it, letting the right amount drip over his fingers and onto the pan. He grabbed the handle and swirled it around. A moment later, he smelled it begin to heat. The can opener was on the back left of the counter, and he had set the canned mackerel directly next to it. Cold metal met cold metal, and a moment later, the can popped open, releasing his favorite smell in the world. He smiled lightly, feeling the squishy, slippery fish. Right hand gripping the panhandle as a reference, he carefully laid out the fish with his left, wincing slightly as hot oil popped up against his fingers.

 

Having his hands get burned or otherwise injured was probably Haru’s biggest fear. One time he’d broken a finger as a kid, and talking hurt for a month. That was back _before_ he needed his hands for listening as well. He shook his hand off, and wiped it on a hand towel that he’d laid out on the counter to his left.

 

Lime juice next. The coldest, plastic bottle to his right. He drizzled it over his fingers, noting the lack of pulp. He prefered the kind that had _some_ pulp but oh well. Salt, then a _tiny_ bit of honey that was not fun to get all over his fingers. The more vision he lost, the messier cooking seemed to become. On the flip side, the _important_ parts of cooking got better. The smells and the flavors and the textures all seemed more pronounced. He could deal with stickiness for that.

 

Haru grabbed a fork, testing the texture of the outside of the fish as it cooked. The back of his neck started to hurt, and he realized that his chin was practically sitting against his chest. That tended to happen when he got really focused. He tried not to do it too much, because eventually the pain started at actually be a problem. He had to go to a chiropractor once.

 

Plates were on the left counter. Haru split it into four, and slammed the cabinet door below the stove twice.

 

A moment later, Rin grabbed his hand, “Dammit, that was loud. Gentle. We’re all right here. I’ll get your plate.”

 

Two other people touched Haru’s shoulder in succession, letting him know they got their plates. Haru nodded, clicking his cane shut before grabbing the back of Rin’s shirt and following him to the table.

 

“You’re sitting between me and Gou.” Rin informed, putting Haru’s hand on the back of his chair.

 

“Got it.” Haru nodded, sitting down. Once again, he found himself grateful for the lighting setup of the Matsuoka house. He was able to make out pretty clearly where his food was on his plate.

 

Either nobody spoke during breakfast, or nobody bothered to bring Haru in on it. Either way, he didn’t really care. He was pretty happy just to be alone with his own thoughts as he ate.

 

He was going to go swimming today. That was the first thing. He’d decided that he wouldn’t allow himself even one minute to worry over other people during these next three days. For now, he was allowed to be totally focused on doing exactly what he wanted the minute he wanted to do it. If that meant staying inside and cooking or sleeping all day, so be it. If that meant trying to remember where the pool was, and maybe even dragging Rin down to the ocean with him, so be it.

 

Actually, getting Rin to agree might be the issue... If Haru ever wanted to go anywhere where people didn’t know him, he needed someone with him. Too often, people would try to talk to him, and when Haru didn’t hear them, or even realize they were there, it could be a problem. He’d been pushed around a few times. Nothing too serious, but he was honestly a bit concerned that someday someone would actually hurt him. So the solution was to bring someone else along. The downside of Rin was of course that he tended to get angry with people pretty quickly. Haru didn’t really care- if people were making fun of him, or not understanding his limitations, that was their own issue, and it didn’t really help to be upset. Haru liked bringing Makoto along. Makoto didn’t get angry so much as surprised. Unlike Rin, who had grown up seeing the discrimination, Makoto was just genuinely confused when someone would say something like, “Well, even if he’s deaf, he could at least _answer_ me.”

 

He’d heard the transcript of a conversation Makoto had had at the grocery store one afternoon, when they were sitting in Haru’s apartment together.

 

Apparently, some lady handing out samples of some new snack had stopped them as they were shopping. When Haru didn’t answer for himself, Makoto had explained he was deaf.

 

“Oh! Apologies. EXCUSE ME, SIR, WOULD YOU LIKE-”

 

“No! You… Don’t have to do that. He still can’t hear you.” Makoto said that they had drawn a lot of stares.

 

“Oh dear, is he a bit slow?” She had apologized.

 

“No, he’s smart, he’s not-”

 

“Well, does he speak Braille?” She had smiled.

 

Makoto said he wasn’t sure how to answer that question. “No. Well, yeah, but Braille’s not… It’s not a language it’s just an alpha- ah, really, it’s not important, we’ll just be going.”

 

“Well, if he speaks Braille, you can tell him what I’m saying, right? Aren’t you his brother?” She gestured them over, speaking really slowly, “I’M SURE YOUR BROTHER’S WILLING TO HELP.”  She smiled, “Did he get that?”

 

“What?” Makoto wasn’t sure what was happening.

 

She nodded, “You know, my cousin’s wife was in a wheelchair.”

 

“Oh- okay...” Makoto frowned

 

“And _her_ son was Autistic. What a crazy coincidence, huh?”

 

“That’s not really… He’s- Haru’s… He just doesn’t understand Japanese.” Makoto tried to explain.

 

“Well, he should learn!” The woman encouraged, “Have you ever heard of a device called a Cochlear Implant? I heard about it on the news, it’s like this disk that goes on your head, and it makes the deaf hear! Isn’t medicine amazing?”

 

Believe it or not, Haru _had_ heard of a Cochlear Implant. He was thankful he didn’t have one. He probably would have if his childhood doctor hadn’t insisted it was pointless. It wouldn’t help enough, and the risks outweighed the slight benefits. Cutting holes in babies’ heads wasn’t really something to do willy-nilly.

 

Makoto had just been shocked that a person could be so dense as to not understand that deaf meant _can’t hear._

 

But anyway, Haru was going to do what he wanted today. And if that meant using Kou to guilt trip her older brother into taking him places, that’s definitely what was going to happen.

 

Haru went over to the front door, opening it and ringing the bell from the outside. A moment later, Rin showed up.

 

“Yeah? I was in my room.”

 

“I want to go to the pool.” Haru said, already walking out the front door.

 

Rin stopped him, “Okay, hold on, just let me get my swimsuit.”

 

Oh yeah. Haru was still in his pajamas. “Bring mine too. I wore it here.”

 

“You need to change all of your clothes, actually.” Rin told him.

 

“No it’s fine. I’ll just be taking them off as soon as we get there.” Haru tried to walk out the door again.

 

“People will- you know what, I don’t actually care. Give me thirty seconds.” Rin let go of his hands.

 

The floor shook heavily as Rin dashed away, returning in a moment with the swimsuits.

 

“Alright, let’s go.”

  
Haru walked all the way out the door, relishing in the cool wind that blew across his face. Today was going to be a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I'd bring up a little bit of the Cochlear Implant (CI) debate. I don't think I've mentioned it yet, but it's actually a pretty big issue in the Deaf community, so I gave it a go.
> 
> The quick overview of the debate is that Hearing people think things like, "Well, clearly being able to hear is top priority, so this way our poor deaf baby can be 'normal.'"
> 
> Whereas Deaf are like, "Don't put them on babies, let them grow up and choose. These things not only don't always fix your hearing, but they can cause migraines, and when your skull is still growing, it's maybe not the best idea to cut a hole in it."
> 
> Then Hearing people go, "But disability!"
> 
> And Deaf people go, "But Deaf gain!"
> 
> And Hearing people go, "But my language!"
> 
> And Deaf people go, "But oppression!"
> 
> CIs are really good if you're older and loosing your hearing. (I mean like thirty, not necessarily sixty. Just that you're done growing) But they can cause a lot of problems in kids. If you have a deaf kid yourself someday, just make an informed decision. Talk to your doctor, but talk to the Deaf community too!
> 
> Deaf kids aren't broken. You don't have to try to fix them. Besides, ASL is awesome, natural, and FREE! Iml/


	22. Chapter 22

The next two days passed in a breath. Suddenly, it seemed, it was six o’ clock Wednesday morning, and Rin lay in bed with his eyes open, staring at the ceiling with dread. He was pretty sure Haru was awake too, since his breathing was less than even. He kicked him anyway, just to be sure.

 

“Mmph.” Haru moaned, sitting up. “What?”

 

Rin sighed, patting Haru’s shoulder, “Want breakfast?” Maybe just keep avoiding the issue for as long as possible.

 

“I need to talk to my parents today.” Well, so much for avoidance.

 

“Yeah… But breakfast first, right?” Rin sat down on the futon with Haru.

 

“We need to start driving. You have school today.” Haru seemed intent on doing what they _should_ be doing, which was annoying.

 

“Not until ten thirty. It takes three hours to get home, so we have one hour for breakfast, then I’ll be thirty minutes early for class.” Rin explained, trying to get Haru out of bed.

 

“We can talk to my parents then.” Haru was _planning._ Urgh.

 

“Yeah, whatever. Let’s go.” Rin pulled him up. “Wanna cook? I want pancakes.”

 

“I can’t do pancakes.” Haru frowned, “I’ve never done them before.”

 

“Bet you could if you tried.” Rin pestered, dragging Haru out of the room. “Stairs.”

 

The walked down the stairs before Haru answered, “That’s too messy. I don’t want to.”

 

Rin shrugged, “Fair enough. How about eggs and bacon? Good ol’ hearty grease pot?”

 

Haru considered, “Eggs and _mackerel.”_

 

“No, you’ll die of malnutrition. Eat other foods.”

 

“Eggs is other foods.” Haru argued.

 

“Still, though. Ugh.” Rin sighed, “I’ll bring you mackerel miso from that little shop you like for lunch, okay? Just don’t subject me to that damned fish anymore.”

 

Haru looked conflicted, “Fine. Get the stuff out of your refrigerator for me.”

 

Rin tapped his arm, guiding Haru into the kitchen. After getting out the ingredients, Rin sat down at the table, head in his hands. Today was going to be rough. Maybe he could miss another day of classes, and take Haru somewhere fun. What did Haru like? Not much. Water, mackerel, Makoto, cooking. Well, four things. That wasn’t too bad. It was better than three things, so Rin could be grateful to Makoto for _something._ Hmm. Maybe he should get Haru home early enough to see Makoto before they went to meet with his parents.

 

A minute later, Haru finished cooking. They sat down at the table and ate quietly. Well, Deaf-quiet. Neither of them moved around much. Both of their backs hung with the weight of the knowledge that today was the day Haru either lost his freedom, or his parents.

 

They sat at the table a good five minutes longer than it took them to eat. Finally, Rin gave. “Hey.” He tapped Haru, “Let’s go.”

 

Haru nodded. They had packed last night in anticipation of not wanting to do anything in the morning. Now, though, Rin wished they had put it off. Anything to not get in the car for one more minute, or even one more second. Haru stood, taking Rin’s hand. They grabbed their bags and left, cold air slapping their faces as soon as they opened the door, just to add insult to injury.

 

Haru kept his eyes closed. Maybe he just wasn’t quite ready to face the light yet. Rin pulled him a little closer, wrapping an arm around his waist. _You’ll be okay._ He tried his best to put every unsaid thing into the gesture. Haru just nodded.

 

Even Rin’s soundscape seemed dulled when he slammed closed the car door. If he hadn’t felt the car shake, he could have sworn he’d just left it open. The crunch of the gravel as he walked around to his side of the car was non-existent, but he could feel the pebbles slide under his shoes.

 

Rin pulled out of the driveway, and turned on the radio. The song made it’s way through Rin’s shut down ears and actually managed to register.

 

_Over the water, there’s one distant shore_

_Someday we’ll go there, someday I’m sure._

_And I hope hand-in-hand_

_We can touch the fresh sand_

_Of that wise foreign land_

_Because my hands were made for yours._

 

Oh. Wasn’t that the song Makoto had learned to sign to Haru? Haru had told him that night. He had copied the signs to Rin, recalling every lyric. It had been sweet, Makoto’s interpretation. Very Japanese style, but that was fine for Haru. As the lyrics played again, Rin reached over to Haru, interpreting as best he could with one hand. Haru stared at him, both hands wrapped around Rin’s as he signed. When it was over, Haru nodded, and leaned back against the window, trying to pretend to sleep. Rin noticed him shaking a little. That was fine. Sometimes Haru needed to let himself feel things. Rin could do him the courtesy of pretending like he didn’t notice.

 

The sounds of the radio faded back out of existence, and the rest of the drive couldn’t seem to find it’s way into Rin’s memory.

 

They arrived at the school at nine thirty, sooner than Rin had expected. Sitting in the car, he picked up Haru’s neglected cell phone and powered it on. Fifty-plus unread messages and eleven missed calls popped up in an instant, screaming their little alarms out into the silence.

 

Rin nodded, taking a deep breath, and hitting ‘call back.’

 

Two rings was all it took.

 

“Matsuoka-san! Where in God’s name have you taken my son?!” A loud, female voice screeched.

 

“He’s fine-” Rin began.

 

“You damned well better _hope_ he’s fine!” She screamed, “I need to speak with him immediately!”

 

Rin took another moment to breathe. Okay. “He’s with me. Are you around?”

 

“I’m at his apartment as we speak! I’ve slept here the past two nights just _waiting_ for you to return my son! This is kidnapping! I could have you arrested!” She breathed heavily.

 

“He’s eighteen…” Rin sighed, “He came with me. He’s fine. If you want to talk, we’ll…” Rin looked wildly around, like the almost empty parking lot might hold some answers. “We’ll be in the coffee shop at my school.” He decided, telling this to Haru. “We’ll be there until ten thirty, so… Whenever you want to show up.”

 

“I’m on my way! We have some things to say to the both of you!” She hung up.

 

“Goddamnit…” Rin muttered, getting out of the car, “Come on, Haru. Let’s go.” Haru took Rin’s hand, and followed him to the coffee shop.

 

“RIN-CHAN!” A very small, very pink blur attacked Rin. “HARU-CHAN!”

 

“Nagisa.” Rin greeted, “Sorry about the company you’re going to have soon. I wanted this to be in public so that… ugh, forget it, I don’t wanna think about it. Get me a double shot of espresso, a medium mocha, and two bagels?”

 

“I’m not working now.” Nagisa folded his arms.

 

“Oh, come on. I said please.” Rin frowned at him.

 

“You didn’t.”

 

_“Please,_ then.” Rin lead Haru to a table, and sat down next to him.

 

Nagisa frowned, following them over, “Let me listen in on whatever you’re about to do.”

 

Rin sighed, “Fine, just… If I don’t get some caffeine, my brain might literally explode.”

 

“Well, not _literally.”_ Ryugazaki walked in.

 

_This guy._ Rin internally scowled.

 

“He’s why I’m not working.” Nagisa explained, stepping behind the counter to fill their orders anyway. “We’re _busy.”_

 

“Gross.” Rin commented, eyeing Ryugazaki.

 

“Don’t be a baby.” Nagisa took out two mugs, “Everyone knows you have a thing for Sousuke.”

 

“Pft, _what?!”_ Rin laughed, ignoring Haru’s questioning expression.

 

“Right, Rei-chan?” He stuck out his hip at Ryugazaki, who nodded.

 

“He’s right.”

 

“Yeah, well… You’re a caffeine fueled superball, and your boyfriend’s ten kinds of crazy I can’t even place yet.” Rin sunk lower in his seat.

 

“You’re off your game.” Nagisa criticized, “Talk to me when you’ve come up with some real comebacks.” He set two lightly toasted bagels and some cream cheese in front of Rin and Haru. “Better translate. Whatever happened to equal access?” He marched back behind the counter, clearly pleased with himself.

 

Rin scowled. “Nagisa and Fluttershy think I like Sousuke.” He filled Haru in begrudgingly.

 

Haru nodded, waving at Nagisa before signing “Yes.”

 

_Ass._

 

“Rin-chan. He’s literally _blind_ and he sees it.” Nagisa laughed, walking back over with drinks.

 

“You can all three bite me. Sousuke’s an old friend.” Rin sulked.

 

“I wouldn’t…” Ryugazaki muttered.

 

“What’s that?” Rin challenged.

 

He shrugged, “You’d bite back. That might put me in the hospital.”

 

Nagisa snickered, “Oh my god, Rei-chan…”

 

Rin shook his head. _Screw these guys. I have more important things on my mind._

 

As if to prove his point, the door of the coffee shop slammed open. Haru’s mother strode over and sat across from her son and Rin. “Okay. I’m here.”

 

“Oh, shit…” Rin heard Nagisa whisper.

 

Haru’s expression was dark. It was clear he knew what had happened. “Hi, Mom. What’s the problem?” Rin interpreted, trying desperately not to let his voice crack.

 

“Tachibana Makoto.” His mother spat.

 

“No, he’s alright. I told you, I like him.” Haru explained as if that would fix the situation.

 

“Haruka, you shouldn’t just give up on yourself! You’re so talented at so many things, I _know_ you’ll find a girl who will love you.” She tried to smile, but her eyes were full of pain.

 

Haru looked confused, “Why?”

 

His mother’s smile brightened a bit, “Because giving up is never an option. That’s what we’ve always believed.”

 

“No…” Haru shook his head, “Why should I have to find a girl who loves me? I already found someone who loves me.”

 

She sighed, as if she were struggling to explain a very simple concept to a child. “It’s not the same. There are many different kinds of love. You can love your parents or your children, like I love you, or you can love your friends like you love Tachibana-kun. But then, there’s a very special kind of love that a boy might have for a girl. That’s the kind of love that might someday lead to marriage. The kind of love your father and I share. Understand?”

 

Haru nodded, “I understand. I love Makoto like you love dad.”

 

She huffed, seeming frustrated that he wasn’t getting it. “I know it’s very confusing. But-”

 

“No it’s not.” Haru’s expression remained blank. “I think it’s very simple. Sometimes people fall in love. It’s not on purpose, but it happens. Since I didn’t do it on purpose, and since I can’t change it now that it’s happened, what I don’t understand is why it bothers you.”

 

“Haruka, there’s a big difference between friendship and love!” Her eyes filled with tears suddenly.

 

“Yeah. I’m friends with Rin, but I love Makoto.” He squinted at her, “I love you too, you know. Like a child loves a mother.”

 

“Haruka…” She cried, “You’re making such a big mistake. Think about your future!”

 

Haru slammed his fist on the table, cool expression shattering suddenly into one of anger. “Why?” He demanded. “Why does everything have to be about the future? I’m happy right now! All I’ve ever known for sure about the future is that I’ll see less and less until I can’t see at all. And all you wanted for the future is for me to talk. As the future comes and comes, I understand less and less of what you say! Why bother with your future? I’m happy at my job, in my apartment, with the person I love! I’m _happy,_ mom! I’m happy!” He growled in frustration, “I talk and talk, so why can’t you hear me? Why can’t you see me?”

 

Rin’s eyes widened. Haru was actually crying.

 

“Haruka…” She sniffed, “Why won’t you ever listen to your mother? You never even listen.”

 

Haru sobbed, “I _can’t! I can’t!”_ He gripped Rin’s shoulder tightly. “I’ve held out my hands my whole life… When I needed you to tell me things were going to be okay.” He shivered, “I was so scared. I was scared and I reached out for you, but you put my hands on your cheeks and told me to _hear.”_ He broke off. His hands were shaking as he spoke, which was fine, because Rin’s voice matched. “My eyesight was my entire world. Then when that was gone, you tied my hands as well. If you wanted a non-disabled child, then why would you give me such a disability?”

 

Mrs. Nanase didn’t answer. She just stared with an open mouth.

 

“I love you because you’re my mother. But I love Makoto because when I reached out, _he_ put his hands in mine.” Haru’s shoulders dropped with finality. He wouldn’t speak so much anymore.

 

Mrs. Nanase nodded, and stood up. “Okay.” Her voice was high, and she dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve, “When you’re ready to listen, give me a call. I will always love you, Haruka, but if you simply refuse to understand, then there is nothing I can do. Until then… You’re on your own. Be _free.”_ Her lip curled around the word, and she left the shop.

  
Rin wrapped his arms around Haru protectively for a long moment. He pulled away and signed, “Come on. Let’s go find Makoto. He wanted to see you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about this one...
> 
> But hey- if you actually LIKE sadness and gayness, go check out the first chapter of another story I've just posted the first chapter for. It's called "His Quietus Make," and HELLS YEAH IT'S NO. 6!


	23. Chapter 23

Makoto was worrying. He knew Rin and Haru were meant to get back today, but he wasn’t sure what time, and what if they had gotten in a car accident, or had decided to run away and travel the world and they left him behind? What would he do? How would he ever contact them again? He was just in the middle of planning out exactly how he would track Haru and Rin down when they got stranded in the middle of the Sahara when the two in question appeared.

 

Makoto saw Rin fingerspell his name. Haru nodded and held out his hands. Makoto dashed over, taking Haru’s in his, “I’m so glad you’re home!” He hugged him tightly. Haru hugged back, shaking a little in Makoto’s arms.

 

“I have to go to class.” Rin muttered, and walked away.

 

“My mom doesn’t understand how I love you, so she left me on my own. I went to Rin’s house for the weekend, and I got to cook a lot, and he took me to the pool and the ocean. We saw a freshwater waterfall that leads into the ocean, and you can walk behind it and there are really smooth stones there, so we stayed for an hour and I learned how to skip rocks, but I’m really bad at it and I don’t understand the point.” Haru briefly filled Makoto in.

 

“You want to camp on the beach this weekend?” Makoto asked.

 

“Yeah. Nagisa makes good coffee even when he whines about it.” Haru smiled.

 

This was a good way to communicate. Now that Makoto had gotten more used to it, Haru’s incredible bluntness was actually rather refreshing. Also, he always offered the story without any persuasion, which was good, because Makoto had never been particularly good at asking uncomfortable questions.

 

Over the next week, Makoto spent most of his free time either at the coffee shop or Haru’s apartment. Haru’s apartment was his favorite place to go for lunch, though, because Haru spent most of _his_ free time cooking or swimming. So whenever Makoto could drag him out of the pool, he was always happy to make them both lunch. To make of for all the times Haru cooked for him (which Makoto admittedly felt a little guilty about,) Makoto did most of Haru’s grocery shopping. It was amazing how easily they fell into a rhythm.

 

By the time the weekend came, it almost felt normal to be going camping. They packed Saturday morning, with a plan to return Sunday afternoon. It was only one night, but hey- it should be fun.

 

They set up a tent on the beach, beyond where high tide was supposed to rise. By the time everything was set up, it was still only about eleven. Haru didn’t wait another second. Before Makoto had even finished taking off his shirt, Haru was in the water, about twenty feet out already.

 

The water was cold, since it was spring, so Makoto figured they shouldn’t stay in for _too_ long, but… Haru just seemed so happy, appearing and disappearing beneath the waves.

 

_What must it be like to swim in the ocean versus the pool if you can’t hear or see the waves crash?_ Makoto wondered, running into the water after Haru. _Salty,_ was his first guess. When he had reached about waist deep, Makoto stopped, and closed his eyes. He could feel the seaweed scratching against his legs, and the sand swirl between his toes. The waves slapped against his stomach with a determined force. _But Haru feels more, I’m sure._ A large wave pushed him on his chest and misted upwards, filling his mouth with the taste of salt. _It would be interesting to live as Haru for a day… just to know how it feels._ He wondered if Haru felt the same- curious about experiencing life as a hearing and sighted person. _Probably, he feels the same._ Makoto figured. _I would be curious._

 

*******

The first thing Haru noticed was the smell. From a mile away, it was clear they were approaching the beach. The air changed texture, becoming heavier and more gritty with salt.

 

When Makoto’s car made that final, slowing curve and rocked to a halt, Haru opened the door to notice the heat. The air was always warmer by the ocean, and the constant wind was like a barrier to keep the faint-hearted away from the water. His hair swirled in his face, and the salt stung his eyes, so he shut them.

 

The third thing he noticed was the ground. It moved and vibrated as if trying to confuse him, and turn him away from the ocean he knew was waiting. He wouldn’t fall for it, though. It was like his brain was tuned to point to water wherever it may be. He could just follow his internal divining branch and eventually there would be an open body of water waiting for him.

 

The sand weighed his feet down, so it felt like the gravity was much higher than it should be. Maybe beaches stole gravity from the water, which is why swimming was weightless.

 

Makoto took his hand, and passed him a bag. It was made of rough canvas, and had a cylindrical shape. This was the tent. Makoto lead Haru over to a spot on the beach where the sand went from solid and cold, to slippery and warm. Haru didn’t much care for the fluffy sand. He couldn’t really walk on it on his own, so it annoyed him on a personal level. Like it was intentionally making itself inaccessible.

 

Setting up the tent took forever. Haru felt in the way as he tried to make himself useful even on the ableist fluffy-sand. When they had finally finished, Haru was off in a heartbeat, pushing through the wind in anticipation of the first shock of cold water to hit his feet. It took a bit longer than he expected to reach the ocean, but the wait was worth it. The water crashed against his ankles, welcoming him with open arms. The ocean was great- you floated better, and even though the water was sometimes itchy, it permeated your skin and left you as a new person. Haru kept running, kicking at the waves that teasingly pushed against his shins in their last attempt to keep him from total submersion.

 

There was one moment in particular that Haru always looked forward to when swimming in the ocean- that one wave that finally reached his chest and pulled him forward. It always announced itself. The water level would drop suddenly to ankle level, then rise quickly in one giant swell that smashed against his chest before churning over his head and pulling him under. He would roll backwards for a moment, then his feet would find the ground and he could push off, swimming underneath the influence of the top waves that pushed and pulled with an angry passion. Underneath the waves, the water was gentler, more playful. It brushed against his scalp with friendly fingers, then pushed him onwards, ushering him to deeper, more mysterious waters. He had just made it past the second sandbar when he was joined by Makoto. The first thing Haru noticed was that sudden jolt in the water that either means fish or person. That sensation was a frequent occurrence in his dreams. THe second thing he noticed was the way the water was softer on one side, meaning something big was blocking part of the waves. Makoto tapped his shoulder, as if Haru hadn’t already figured out he was there, and took his hands.

 

“The water is cold today.”

 

Cold? That wasn’t the word Haru had for it. Today, the water’s mood was anything but cold. It was nostalgic. It felt like meeting again after such a long time, but now everyone was different. Suddenly Haru saw the water not as a childhood friend, but as another adult with ideas and passions and dreams.

 

How funny. Haru had never really thought of himself as an adult before, but now… The word came so easily. He felt like he finally deserved it.

 

Of course, none of this was said to Makoto. Rather than overwhelm him with words and metaphors he was not quite ready to understand, Haru gave a simple, “Yes.”

 

Makoto’s language skills had improved dramatically since his first time speaking at the aquarium. To Haru, it felt like watching a child grow up. He had been there for his first word, his first sentence, and every new meaningful thing he had attempted to say. Haru felt sort of bad, actually, he had doubted Makoto’s overall intelligence to begin with. It wasn’t Haru’s fault per se, he had just never really spoken to someone who wasn’t a native speaker before. Even though Makoto’s Hearing accent was still strong and probably always would be, Haru’s favorite part about listening to him speak was the slow development of his personality. From the choppy, nervous gestures, to the more confident, caring way he spoke now, well… every stage in his development had been fascinating to watch. Honestly, Haru was just touched that he had even bothered at all. Over the last weekend at Rin’s house, Rin had told him about the first time Makoto ever saw him. Apparently, Rin had advised Makoto to not even bother. Really, in most situations, that was best. Most Hearing people Haru had met were cold, and they kept _huge_ distances between them when they spoke. _What would that be like?_ Haru wondered, _To speak to someone from across the room, without even looking?_ The best Haru had ever been able to come up with was that it must be some sort of mind-reading. He remembered the long-distance ability from back when he could see, but even Deaf stood closer than Hearing. Maybe sound didn’t work properly if you stood too close. Like when Rin as a child had tried holding his hands closer to Haru’s eyes, like that might help him see better. All it did was make him go cross-eyed, and he got a little annoyed at Rin for being in his face.

 

That was a sad thought, if sound was better from far away. It seemed lonely. Maybe that’s why Hearing people never showed any emotion. Because they’re too lonely to express it. Not like Haru was really one to talk. Since he couldn’t read anyone else’s faces, he had decided it wasn’t fair that they were allowed to read his.

 

_I wonder if Makoto ever wonders what it’s like not to see or hear?_ Haru wondered. _Probably not. Hearing and Sighted people are always so worried about making us be like them that they probably don’t even consider going the other way,_ Haru figured. _Besides, I’m sure they can close their ears like I can close my eyes. Maybe they already think they understand._

 

A piece of seaweed brushed past Haru’s calf. They were standing just on the other side of the second sandbar, so the occasional wave would tug at their waists.

 

“Are you okay?” Makoto asked, squeezing Haru’s hands slightly.

 

_Was_ he okay? Haru thought about it. Did something in his expression show through to Makoto to suggest otherwise?

 

“I’m not a child anymore.” Haru answered.

 

“Oh.” Makoto seemed surprised. Maybe he didn’t understand.

 

“I’m not sure if I like that.” Haru continued, kicking a sand dollar that happened between his toes.

 

“Why not?” So he did understand.

 

“I don’t know.” Maybe it was that very few people believed he could handle it, so much so that he had started to doubt himself. Maybe it was that nobody had really taught him how to be an adult, and now he was expected just to do it.

 

Maybe it was just that he actually did miss his mother.

 

Makoto wrapped his arms around him, changing the way the water moved against Haru. Suddenly, something else was affecting his water just as much as he was.

 

“You’ll be okay. I’m here.” Makoto signed into their clasped hands.

  
Haru just nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets better.
> 
> My favorite thing about socializing in the Deaf community is all the stories you get. There's no need to drag it out of people, the culture is to share! Just sit and think about that, all my Hearing friends who really hate having to get through all the bullshit before someone will dish out one little gem of truth. It really is refreshing...


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's fluff. It's so fluffy. I promise I'll play nicely this time.

The sky shook. Water hammered down on the top of the tent like a barrage of marbles, and Makoto woke up with a start. He hated storms. Whatever animal instinct it was that made people want to hide from the thunder, Makoto had it two-fold. Luckily, he’d come prepared with the storm shelter that gave their tent some form of stability. All they could do was wait it out.

 

“Haru…” Makoto mumbled, feeling over in the darkness for Haru’s sleeping form. Except… he wasn’t there. “Haru?!” Makoto jumped up, heart pounding. A mist of water slapped him across the face- the front of the tent was halfway open. “Oh my god!” Makoto pulled the flap back, and looked outside.

 

Haru was standing in his swimsuit, arms outstretched into the storm, head tossed back to face the sky. Even through his fear, Makoto had the impulse to stop and take a picture. He was so perfectly silhouetted against the ocean that glowed silver and rose to incredible heights.

 

“Haru!” Makoto yelled, forgetting he wouldn’t be heard. Really, even someone with perfect hearing probably wouldn’t hear him in the storm. Groaning in annoyance, Makoto stepped out into the rain and grabbed Haru’s shoulder. “Come back in the tent!”

 

Haru signed something unintelligible in the dark.

 

“I can’t see you, just come with me!” Makoto pulled on Haru’s wrist.

 

Haru stepped forward, and put Makoto’s hands over his, “No.”

 

Ugh. “Come on, it’s not safe.”

 

Haru signed slowly and clearly so that Makoto could understand without seeing, “I don’t want to. It’s great out here, can’t you see the waves?”

 

Well… could Haru? “Uh, yeah, but… Can you?”

 

“Yeah.” Haru nodded, “In a storm, I can see the waves, and hear the thunder. Everything shakes.”

 

“You could die!” Makoto tried to pull him again to no avail.

 

“I’m not coming in. The world is so violent that even I can see it.” Haru dropped Makoto’s hands and ran up to the water’s edge.

 

Makoto shifted from foot to foot, debating. “Haru!” He called, giving in and running over to him. He grabbed Haru’s hands, “What if you get hit by a wave? Or struck by lightning?”

 

“I won’t.” Haru assured, “The ocean understands me.”

 

_This is going nowhere._ Makoto sighed, and without warning, picked Haru up bridal style and carried him back to the tent. He set Haru down just inside the door, and zipped it up behind him. Annoyed, Makoto turned on a lantern.

 

“What was that for?” Haru complained.

 

“You scared me!” Makoto’s hands were shaking. Haru noticed.

 

“Oh. Sorry.” He looked away.

 

Makoto sighed. At least he hadn’t tried to go swimming. “Let’s just go to sleep, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

Makoto laid down on top of his sleeping bag, closing his eyes. A moment later, there was a shift, and Haru laid down next to him, curling into Makoto’s side. He laid his hand on Makoto’s chest. Makoto opened his eyes and looked down- Haru’s eyes were closed, and his breathing was slow and even. He looked totally relaxed. With a smile, Makoto noticed the handshape Haru had so quickly fallen asleep with.

 

“I love you too.” He whispered, shutting off the lantern and going to sleep.

 

It was still raining gently when they drove home the next morning. Haru slept most of the way, annoyed he even had to wake up in the first place.

 

It had been really nice, in Makoto’s opinion, to get away from their everyday lives if even for only one night. Things seemed to get stirred up so suddenly, so a chance to be at peace was really nice. Maybe it would last this time, Makoto hoped, and nothing else would get in the way.

  
Their relationship wasn’t _that_ unusual, was it? Not so strange that it should cause someone who wasn’t even involved any amount of stress? Makoto sighed, drumming his fingers against the wheel, he really felt like they were just normal. He should stop thinking about people who upset him.

 

The next morning found them asleep in the tent, sun filtering through the canvas roof and waking Makoto up. As soon as he moved, Haru was up too, looking distinctly annoyed to be awake in the first place.

 

They drove home and made it back to school around 1 in the afternoon. Makoto picked up pre-made lunches from the on-campus convenience store, and brought them into the coffee shop, taking their usual booth.

 

Nagisa plopped down across from them, ignoring Nitori’s look of distress. “Have fun?” He smirked at them.

 

“Tachibana! Good, he didn’t disappear into the ocean forever.” Rin joined them.

 

“Uh, yeah.” Makoto nodded at both of them, “The weather was great, so… You know, we swam a lot.”

 

“I’ll bet.” Nagisa grinned.

 

Nitori walked over with a notepad and an annoyed look on his face, “Hazuki-kun, you’re supposed to take their orders at the count-” He noticed Rin, “Oh. Matsuoka-senpai. I just meant… What did you guys want to drink?”

 

“Just a medium black drip for me. Makoto, for Haru?” He tapped on the table like Makoto hadn’t heard him.

 

“Um…” Makoto asked. “He says… Small Ah- Americano? Yeah. And I’ll have the same.”

 

“Oh, and do you guys serve those really fluffy pastries that are shaped like bananas?” Rin questioned, trying to explain what they looked like with his hands.

 

“Croissants?” Nitori asked, blushing, “Yeah, we do.”

 

“Ah, excellent. I’ll have one of those too. Thanks, Ai.” He grinned.

 

“Yeah, sure!” He grinned hugely, “Oh my god, no way…” Nitori breathed as he walked away trying to hide his smile.

 

Nagisa stared at Rin seriously, “I read his diary.”

 

“You didn’t!” Makoto exclaimed.

 

“He writes stuff about you.” Nagisa’s eyes twinkled dangerously.

 

Rin frowned, “What sorts of stuff?”

 

_“Stuff.”_ Nagisa emphasized as if that would explain everything. “Be _careful_ with him, Rin-chan. I’m the one who has to live with him.”

 

Rin nodded seriously, “Yeah… I forgot you guys were roommates. That’s a little weird.”

 

“Really?” Nagisa looked upset, “I think we match pretty well.”

 

“I don’t know, you _look_ like you would match well, but… I don’t see it working out.” Rin glanced over his shoulder at Nitori, who was busy preparing drinks.

 

“What do _you_ know?” Nagisa huffed, “You’re rooming with _Sousuke.”_ He tried out a gruff sounding impression of Rin’s roommate, “He’s all, _Make sure you study, son. And eat your vegetables, you know I hate it when you get scurvy.”_

Rin wrinkled his nose, “No, that’s weird. He’s not like a dad at all.”

 

Nagisa leaned back in his seat, looking victorious, “I knew you liked him.”

 

_“What?”_

 

“Drinks!” Nitori showed up with a tray at the last moment.

 

“Thanks, Nitori-kun!”

 

“Thanks, Ai.”

 

“Haru says thanks too, Ai-chan!” Nagisa beamed, reading one of the few signs he could understand.

 

“Sure.” He smiled at Rin and walked back behind the counter.

 

As soon as he was out of earshot, Nagisa leaned in and whispered, “Rin-chan, you have to pick a person!”

 

“What?” Rin leaned in too, looking confused.

 

“You gotta pick between Sousuke or Ai-chan, it’s important!” His eyebrows crinkled to show how dead serious he was.

 

“Why?” Rin leaned back, annoyed.

 

“Because everybody’s got a person, and it all matches up so evenly if you just pick so that everybody can be happy!” Nagisa whined, slapping the table in desperation, “Come on, put a bow on this puppy! We need the last pair!”

 

Rin scowled, “I don’t even begin to understand what the hell you’re talking about. I don’t care for your whole pairing theory.”

 

Makoto frowned, “Has… has this been a conversation before? Why haven’t I heard of this?”

 

“Not everything revolves around you and Haru.” Rin narrowed his eyes at him, “Other people have their own stuff going on.”

 

“Rin- _chan!”_ Nagisa pleaded, “For me?”

 

“That is such a ridiculous request, that I’m gonna respond equally ridiculously. Come along, Haru, we’re gonna go watch a movie.” He grabbed Haru’s hand and stood up, taking his coffee and croissant before heading towards the door, “Go think about your life choices!” He called back to Nagisa. “Later, Ai.” He nodded at the still wide-eyed boy.

 

Nagisa slumped, “He called him _Ai,_ Makotan. He called him _love.”_

 

Makoto still wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but Nagisa was clearly distressed, so Makoto felt bad for him, “I’m sure he’ll come around eventually.”

 

Nagisa smiled, “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Makotan.” He stood up, brushing off his apron, “I’ll figure something out. Oh!” He grinned madly, “I wanna know everything about your beach trip after I get off work.” He bounced back behind the counter, “So romantic! I could die!”

  
Makoto just nodded. He felt out of the loop. Weirdly, he _hadn’t_ ever really considered the things that were going on in his friend’s lives that were outside of his own. He’d just been so wrapped up in, well, _everything_ that he forgot about all the petty dramas that used to happen all the time. He kind of missed them if he was being completely honest. Smiling, he finished his coffee. He’d like to try and get back to all the little disturbances that Nagisa could blow way out of proportion and keep them entertained. Maybe now that things had settled down, he’d finally have that chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys. The next chapter will be the last. You guys are the best, and I'm so honored you've stayed with me through this bizarre experiment of a fanfic.
> 
> I'm considering doing a sequel to this work, so let me know what you think in the comments this time. (I already have a basic idea, but hey, lend me your headcanons, please!)
> 
> In the meantime, maybe go check out my other current work "His Quietus Make" ??? (Guys, it's No. 6. That was the perfect show all the way through.) Go do it! Go do it because of this shameless self-promo!
> 
> Anyway, I love you guys, thank you so much to everyone who commented, liked, subscribed, and/or read this story, I've had so much fun!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. Here's the last chapter of "Love is Blind!" Hope you like it! :)

Chapter 25:

 

The people on the bleachers mumbled to each other as they munched on popcorn, candy, and soda. Little kids wearing fish-shaped hats waved around from the sugar high. Makoto sat still, stomach fluttering with anticipation, but figured he at least looked calm.

 

Rin, on the other hand, sat with his feet tapping, knees shaking up and down as he stared intently at the pool. His eyebrows were lowered, and a look of total concentration was written across his face.

 

“I can’t believe Haru-chan’s part of the show!” Nagisa squealed, “This is so cool!” He wrapped both of his arms around Rei’s, bouncing in his seat.

 

“I’m also interested to see Haruka-senpai perform.” Rei nodded, “I’ve never seen an aquarium show before.”

 

“That’s because you don’t like things that are fun, Rei-chan.” Nagisa reprimanded.

 

“Yes I do!” Rei protested, offended. “We go to museums, and bookstores, and nature walks-”

 

“Oh, Rei-chan, no…” Nagisa shook his head in mock disappointment.

 

“He’d better not kill himself doing this.” Sousuke commented, frowning at Rin.

 

“He _won’t.”_ Rin glared at Sousuke, “Stop saying that.”

 

“He’ll be fine.” Makoto smiled, “This is all he’s been thinking about since they said he could do it a few weeks ago.”

 

“The dolphins know sign language!” Nagisa grinned, “How cool is that?”

 

“Do they?” Rei asked, looking interested.

 

“Sort of.” Rin clarified. “They only understand gestures, not speech, so the trainers communicate with them by really basic signs. Not a language so much as a list of words that correspond to actions. Just verbs, really.”

 

Music began to play, and the crowd grew silent. “Ladies and gentleman!” A male voice came over the speakers. “Welcome to the show! First off, I’d like to introduce today’s trainer. He’s fairly new to our team, but he shows a lot of potential. Swimming with our wonderful dolphins is a man who’s defied all odds to be here today. Both deaf and blind, I’m proud to introduce, Nanase Haruka!”

 

“I _knew_ they’d use that.” Rin grumbled.

 

“Shh.” Makoto scolded, pointing to the back of the pool.

 

Ripples shot through the water as two forms swam just below the surface. A moment later, the gray snout of a dolphin emerged, and clinging to it’s fin was Haru, looking straight-faced as ever, but those who knew him could tell he was happy.

 

“Go Haru-chan!” Nagisa shouted, causing the people surrounding them to look back, affronted.

 

One little girl laughed, “Yeah! Go Haru-chan!”

 

Her mother scolded her, “Oh, hush, that’s not a girl. Be quiet, you’re embarrassing.”

 

Her dad laughed, “Relax, it’s not like he can hear you. They said he was deaf, remember? Hey, Haru-chan! You suck!”

 

Rin’s eyebrow quirked, “Hey, little girl, did you know your dad’s an uproarious, corn-soaked twat?”

 

“Excuse me?!” The dad turned around.

 

Rin shrugged, “Relax. It’s not like she can understand me.”

 

_“Rin.”_ Makoto warned, “Not now.”

 

Thankfully, Haru and the dolphins picked that moment to splash the audience, giving the dad something else to complain about.

 

The show was great, Haru and the dolphins really seemed to get along, and things went off without a hitch.

 

A while later, Haru and the dolphins waved goodbye, splashing the audience one last time before swimming away.

 

“Nanase Haruka, performing with Mizu-Ai and Sushiko! Give them a round of applause!”

 

Makoto stood up, cheering along with everyone else in their group. The rest of the audience clapped too, but none with quite so much fervor.

 

The group made their way out of the bleachers, and around to the back of the pool to greet Haru, who sat with his legs dangling in the water, hand on the speaker next to him that was still playing music loud enough to disrupt talking so that people would know it was time to leave.

 

Not that that really bothered Haru.

 

“Hey, it’s Rin. You did great.” Rin smiled at him, patting Haru’s arm.

 

“Thanks.” Haru nodded, “Sushiko smacked my butt.”

 

“Well, can you blame her?” Rin grinned, “I gotta say, she’s a cute dolphin. Cuter than Makoto, anyway.”

 

“Hey!” Makoto frowned.

 

“What’d he say?” Nagisa bounced, grabbing Makoto’s sleeve.

 

“I’m not as cute as Sushiko.” Makoto huffed.

 

“He’s right.” Sousuke nodded.

 

“Hmm, maybe if you got your bangs out of your face, Mako-chan…” Nagisa mused.

 

“Don’t worry, Makoto-senpai, I think you’re beautiful.” Rei interjected.

 

Everyone stared at Rei until he blushed and looked away.

 

“Anyway… Ready to go home, Haru?” Rin turned back to him.

 

“Yeah. Makoto can drive me.” Haru pushed off the edge of the pool into the water, swimming around to where the stepladder was. He grabbed his towel from the rack, and his shoes, clothes, and stick- cane- thing from the shelf.

 

“Does his stick thing have an official word?” Makoto asked Rin to the side.

 

“Um…” Rin frowned, “If it does, I have no clue what it is in Japanese. He’s never, you know, said it out loud.”

 

“Oh yeah…” Makoto nodded, tapping Haru on the shoulder as he approached, “Makoto. driving with me, right?”

 

“Yeah.” Haru grabbed his hand and allowed himself to be lead into the parking lot.

 

“You looked really cool out there, Haru.” Makoto told him, “I’m glad I got to see you.”

 

“It’s Saturday, so…” Haru tapped Makoto’s shoulder, but then hesitated. “Can you stay with me tonight?” He blushed a little at the request.

 

Makoto’s eyes widened, “Yeah. Sure. Why?”

 

Haru shrugged, “You’re in school too much. I’m at work too much. I miss having a roommate. You’re warm, and my apartment’s freezing. Lots of reasons.”

 

Makoto smiled, squeezing Haru’s hand, “Yeah. That sounds fun. Wanna make dinner?”

 

Haru nodded, smiling slightly back, “Of course.”

 

They got in the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Makoto was still smiling. _How did I ever get so lucky?_ He wondered, mind drifting towards the future. _Everything’s settled down now… We could actually make some progress here. He did say he misses having a roommate. Maybe next year… Well, we’ll see how it goes._

 

They could, now- see how it goes. With everything that was in their way successfully put behind them, the road to the future didn’t seem quite so inaccessible. Maybe they’d move in together. Maybe they’d even stay together _after_ college. Could that even work? Makoto had tried never to consider it before, since he hadn’t thought it could happen.

 

He laughed nervously, a little overwhelmed by the possibilities he was suddenly able to see. So maybe their relationship _wasn’t_ the most normal. That didn’t mean it was _bad_ or _wrong._ It was just different. Different definitely doesn’t equal inferior. Haru had very clearly shown Makoto that.

 

He smiled fondly at the memory of seeing Haru for the first time. He had tried to jump in a koi pond. Makoto had initially felt overwhelmed and a little scared of the fact that his new roommate couldn’t see or hear.

 

“Things change, don’t they, Haru?” Makoto hummed, glancing over at Haru who was braiding the frayed edges of his towel.

  
Different didn’t mean inferior. Makoto sighed, turning into Haru’s apartment’s parking lot. Sometimes different just meant… well, different. It could never mean that he was any less in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for everything.
> 
> To those who are leaving the story here, THANK YOU FOR READING! It makes me very happy.
> 
> To those who will continue with me into the sequel, THANK YOU SO MUCH, AND I'LL SEE YOU SOON! Give me a solid week to get the kinks worked out in my idea, and I'll see you later with the next book!
> 
> I will make this book part of a series, so if you want to subscribe to that for when I post the next book, you can. <3
> 
> Anyway, I'm gonna cry for how much fun this has been. I love you! Aishiteruyo! Iml/ ! In every language I know, I love you and thank you. (I'm super sappy, I know.) See you soon, I hope!


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